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The Impact of Trauma on Child Brain Development

Many care-experienced children deal with the impact of trauma in their day-to-day lives. Let’s learn how trauma can influence a child’s development, and how therapeutic parenting techniques can support children to heal. 

Understanding developmental trauma

Imaging that you’re walking in the park one day when you spot a large dog. The dog isn’t on a lead, and its owner is nowhere to be seen. Its ears flatten tightly against its head as it flashes rows of sharp teeth, beginning to growl. Sensing that there’s danger, your body begins to react: your heartrate increases, you become more alert and your muscles tense. Your body releases stress hormones as it prepares to react to the threat through fight or flight. 

For children who have experienced trauma, those stress responses don’t just happen in the face of genuine danger, like an aggressive dog. Many care-experienced people live with complex developmental trauma, which means that they have been repeatedly exposed as a child to stressful circumstances. There are many circumstances which can cause a child to live with trauma, including: 

  • Being removed from their family home 
  • Facing neglect or abuse 
  • Losing a loved one in death 
  • Witnessing domestic violence 
  • Living with a parent with an unmanaged mental illness 
  • Having a family member go to prison 
  • Living though parental separation 
Understanding developmental trauma

Trauma, the body and the brain

Trauma is the long-lasting response which we can have to being exposed to something incredibly distressing. We can experience the effects of trauma at any age, but when it’s experienced in childhood, it can have a huge impact on development. Even a foetus in the womb can experience trauma if their mother is exposed to high levels of stress, such as through experiencing addiction or domestic violence. Even if a child is too young to remember traumatic experiences, their body will remember. Their negative experiences may impact how their brain develops, their behaviours and when they reach developmental milestones.  

Repeated exposure to traumatic circumstances wires the brain and the nervous system to live in a world of constant threat, where survival and safety are the only things which matter. When living in a constant state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn, the brain has less room to flourish, dampening its ability to develop higher skills like strong self-esteem, good social skills, impulse control and a child’s ability to regulate their emotions without help from adults. 

Building safety through trusting relationships

As challenging as these adaptions can be for children and those who care for them, it’s important to remember that the brain has adapted this way as a means of protecting the child. Childhood trauma is often the result of poor-quality relationships with adults, and many of the effects of trauma can be healed by building nurturing and loving connections with safe adults. 

This healing doesn’t happen magically overnight, though. When a child has learned that the world is unsafe and that the adults in their life can’t be trusted to fill their needs or protect them from harm, they cannot simply ‘switch off’ their trauma responses when living in a safe environment such as a foster home. Children who have been removed from unsafe situations may perceive everyday situations as threatening, and their behaviour may seem overly reactive to the world around them. 

Therapeutic parenting methods that work

Each child’s healing journey is a long road, and it takes a lot of patience, empathy and therapeutic guidance for children to heal and build trusting relationships with others. Thanks to the wonders of neuroplasticity— the brain’s ability to form new neural connections— there is plenty of hope for recovery and healing, and children can learn to respond to the world in a healthier way and see it as a safer place. 

Foster parents can help children to build these new neural pathways by using theraputic parenting techniques. We teach these skills in our mandatory training, where you’ll learn that many common parenting techniques, such as time-outs and the naughty step, can do more harm than good for a child who has experienced trauma. This is because these methods rely on the assumption that the child understands that their relationship with their caregiver is built on a solid foundation, which is not always the case for children in care. 

Let’s take a look at an example of how two very different children might react to the same consequence for their behaviour, and how therapeutic parenting can help to support a child who lives with trauma when challenges arise. 

 

Scenario: After hitting their sibling in order to snatch a toy, the child is told to go to their bedroom for ten minutes of time-out. 

 

Child A: Child A is living at home with their family. They have a secure attachment to their caregiver, and understand that being sent to their room is only a temporary measure. Having had a healthy environment in which to grow, where they know that they are loved and safe even when their behaviour is being addressed, this method is appropriate for teaching them that being unkind to their sibling is wrong and will lead to them missing out on fun time with the family. They are able to learn from this experience and avoid the behaviour in future, and are able to seek comfort from their caregiver in the aftermath.  

Child B: Child B has recently moved into a new foster home. When they were living back at home with their family, they faced neglect and would spend hours locked in their bedroom with no interaction or anyone to comfort them. By using alone time in their bedroom as punishment, the child is experiencing retraumaziation. They do not know how long they will be left alone and cannot trust that their foster parent will come back for them. As trauma has impacted their brain development, they haven’t yet learned to regulate their emotions alone, and thus cannot soothe themselves without their foster parent’s support. No lessons are learned; instead, their emotional state becomes more unmanaged and their relationship with their foster parent may be damaged due to feelings of insecurity and abandonment.  

An alternative approach for child B: Foster parents can help the children in their care to avoid distressing situations like these by using the ‘time in’ method instead of the ‘time out’ method. ‘Time in’ prioritises staying close with your young person during difficult moments to help them regulate their emotions in a safe way.  

Boost your skills with Fostering People

The above example looks at just one of the many different therapeutic parenting approaches which you’ll learn about when you foster with us. We run a comprehensive programme of training covering a huge range of specialist subjects, including the P.A.C.E model. You’ll also have the opportunity to pick and choose from a range of courses which are designed to broaden your understanding of the needs of your foster children. 

Therapeutic parenting may feel strange at first, particularly if you’ve brought your own children up in a more traditional way or if it seems very different to the way you were raised.  It takes time to study and master, but once you begin using therapeutic parenting techniques you’ll see just how beneficial they can be for children who have experienced trauma.  

 

Ready to learn more?  

Here at Fostering People, we’re always ready to welcome more caring and passionate individuals who see a future in caring for children. When you foster with us you’ll receive a whole range of support, including specialist advice and a generous fostering allowance.  

If you’re ready to begin the journey of a lifetime, contact our team today on 0800 077 8159 or via our quick and easy online form— we’re waiting to hear from you! 

 

Recommended reading for foster parents 

Check out some of our favourite books which discuss therapeutic parenting strategies in more detail, to help you understand the importance of a therapeutic approach for children who live with the impact of trauma. 

  • ‘Creating Loving Attachments: Parenting with P.A.C.E to Nurture Confidence and Security in the Troubled Child’ by Dr. Dan Hughes and Kim Golding 

  • ‘The Body Keeps the Score’ by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk 

  • ‘The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog’ by Bruce D. Perry and Maia Szalavitz 

  • ‘The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting: Strategies and Solutions’ by Sarah Naish 

PACE Parenting: strategies that work

Parenting and fostering are similar, but one of the main differences is the type of parenting you use to help them navigate the world. For children in care who are living with trauma, traditional parenting techniques often fall short of their needs and can sometimes make things worse.

That’s where PACE therapeutic parenting comes in. PACE is about creating a nurturing and healing environment where children feel safe enough to be themselves and are loved unconditionally, both on their good and bad days.

In this blog, we take a deeper look at PACE parenting, including what it means, why it works, and how you can use it to truly make a difference in the lives of the children you foster.

What is the PACE approach to parenting?

PACE is a therapeutic parenting approach developed by Dan Huges, a clinical psychologist who specialises in childhood trauma. He recognised that children living with the weight of adverse childhood experiences (ACES) need to be cared for in a different way, with a focus on building strong and trusting relationships.

These relationships are at the heart of helping children heal from their trauma. They give children a secure base to make sense of their experiences, understand their triggers, and find new ways to cope with their thoughts and feelings. When children know they have someone to lean on, rely on and trust, it builds the resilience and confidence they need to explore the world and look towards a more hopeful future.

PACE, which stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy, creates a supportive and nurturing environment where children feel understood, valued, and heard. As a foster parent, using PACE can help you look beyond behaviour to understand what’s really upsetting or triggering a child. You can then coach them through emotions they may not have the words for yet and help them feel safe enough to open up about what’s really going on inside.

The PACE parenting model

Here is a breakdown of the four principles of PACE and the strategies within each element that you can use to support a child. When combined, they can help you build a connection with the children in your care and diffuse tension in difficult situations.

Playfulness

Playfulness means parenting in a light-hearted way by bringing joy, humour and a little silliness into everyday moments. You probably use playfulness in some of your relationships already – maybe you’ve got a running joke with a friend or send funny videos to your partner when they’re having a tough day. These seemingly small things show that you care and provide them with the emotional safety to be themselves around you.

It’s just the same for the children you foster. When you’re relaxed and enjoying yourself in their company, it helps them feel safe enough to do the same. When you laugh or smile with them, they see that you enjoy being around them, which boosts their self-esteem while strengthening your bond.

How to use playfulness

You could see playfulness as being in touch with your inner child and finding joy in the small things around you. Here are some examples of playfulness strategies that can help you connect and manage tricky situations:

  • If it’s a rainy day, you could go outside and jump in puddles together or have a race to see who can find the biggest puddle first.
  • If you’re on a long car journey, you could make up a game or create a silly song about the trip together.
  • If your foster child struggles to name their emotions, you could turn them into characters, giving them names that are easy to remember, such as Sally the sad sausage or Alfie the angry ant. This way, when they start to feel that emotion, they may find it easier to associate it with the character you’ve created together.
  • If the child in your care doesn’t want to go to bed, you could build a fort together or make up a song about bedtime that makes it feel fun and something to look forward to.
  • You could turn chores into a challenge, such as who can rake the biggest pile of leaves or put away their clothes the fastest.

Top tip: Pick your moment carefully. If a child’s very upset, trying to laugh and joke might make them feel unheard or misunderstood. In those moments, get down to their level and gently explore their feelings instead.

Acceptance

Everyone wants to feel like they are accepted and loved unconditionally – even if a bad day means you’re a bit grumpy. It’s the same for children in care, but sadly, they may have never experienced this sort of relationship before. They may have been punished or shamed for showing their feelings and might worry that you’ll leave them if they don’t behave in a certain way.

Acceptance is about validating the way a child feels and helping them find new ways to manage their emotions. It means separating a child from their behaviour and letting them know that although you may not like what they’ve done, you’ll always love and care about them.

How to show acceptance

When emotions are running high, it can be challenging to separate a child from their actions, but this is key to helping them feel safe and secure. They need to know that their behaviour won’t change the way you feel about them. You can show them this by:

  • Slowing down the conversation and giving them enough time to respond to your questions about what happened.
  • Staying calm and using a soft tone while getting down to their level when they’re upset.
  • Offering them a hug if they’re comfortable with it or sitting nearby so they know you still want to be around them.
  • Acknowledging their feelings without judgement by saying things like, ‘You seem really upset, and that’s okay. Let’s talk about what’s made you feel this way.’
  • Reassuring them that it’s normal to have tricky feelings sometimes. For example, if they’ve had an argument at school, you could say, ‘That must have been frustrating. I get frustrated sometimes too.’
  • Validating their emotions while helping them find a new way to cope in the future. For example, if they hit someone at school because they took their pen, you could say, ‘I can see why you’re upset – it doesn’t feel very nice when people take your things. But hitting isn’t okay. Let’s think about what you could do the next time you feel like this. Maybe you could take a few deep breaths or tell a teacher. If it happens at home, we could go outside and stomp around until you feel calmer.’

Top tip: Acceptance isn’t about ignoring challenging behaviour. It’s about letting a child know that you won’t reject or abandon them when they’re having a bad day. Instead, you’ll stay by their side and help them find healthier ways to manage their emotions.

Curiosity

When you’re experiencing intense emotions but still have to get on with daily life, no matter how hard you try, it’s likely that your body language, tone of voice, and behaviour will show the people closest to you how you’re really feeling.

It’s the same for children in your care. Behaviour is a form of communication, especially for children living with trauma who don’t yet feel safe enough to share their thoughts and feelings or simply can’t find the words for their emotions.

To understand what they’re trying to tell you, you need to be curious. Curiosity is about pausing and wondering why they’re acting in a certain way without jumping to conclusions.

When you show curiosity about how a child is feeling, it helps them feel valued, heard, and understood because you’re taking the time to see the world through their eyes.

How to be curious

When a child doesn’t feel able to open up about what’s happened to them or how they’re feeling, it can be frustrating because all you want to do is help. But with a bit of observation and curiosity, you’ll start to notice patterns and begin to understand a child’s triggers.

Here are a few ways to show curiosity:

  • If your foster child struggles to answer direct questions, take the pressure off the conversation by wondering aloud instead. For example, if they took something out of another child’s lunchbox, you could say, ‘I wonder if you took that sandwich because you’re worried about not having enough food. We always have food available, so if you feel hungry, just let me know.’
  • If you notice something about their behaviour and want to ask them about it, you could say, ‘I noticed you seem a bit upset today. I wonder if something happened to make you feel this way?’
  • If you spot a pattern or trigger, gently wonder about it with them. For example, ‘I’ve noticed that you often feel a bit overwhelmed when we go to the supermarket. Maybe it’s a bit loud and busy in there for you.’
  • Be curious about your own emotions to help them make the connection between feelings and behaviour. You might say, ‘I feel a bit grumpy today – maybe it’s because I didn’t get enough sleep.’
  • If they don’t want to talk, let them know that you’ll offer a listening ear when they’re ready.

Top tip: Curiosity is about gently decoding a child’s behaviour so you can better support them. It’s not a quick-fix solution – it takes time, trust and patience to build a clear picture of what’s really going on.

Empathy

Sometimes life is hard, but when someone shows us that they ‘get it’, it brings comfort, helps us feel less alone and connects us to those around us.

Empathy is all about seeing things through your child’s eyes and showing them that you understand where they’re coming from. It means holding their hand when they struggle to cope with their trauma and working through their emotions together.

How to show empathy

When a child sees that you understand and accept their feelings, it can help them feel less alone and more able to open up about their inner world. As a foster parent, empathy probably comes naturally to you already, but here are a few tips that can help:

  • Listen, not just with your ears, but with open body language, eye contact and without distractions. Let them have the floor, and when you speak, try not to take over the conversation.
  • Help them name their feelings by saying them out loud or using visual aids, such as emotion worksheets or toys.
  • Try to match their energy. For example, if they seem low, use a soft tone rather than a cheerful one.
  • Help them feel safe by sitting next to them or offering them an item that brings them comfort, like their favourite toy or blanket.
  • Be honest about your emotions so your child knows they’re not alone in their feelings. For example, if a child is nervous about starting school, you might say, ‘I get nervous too sometimes.’

Top tip: Showing empathy doesn’t mean trying to fix the way a child feels – it’s about consistently being there for them through their struggles. Knowing they can talk to you about their feelings helps build trust, confidence, and the resilience they need to face life’s challenges.

PACE training for parents

When you join Fostering People, you become part of a community that truly understands the impact of adverse childhood experiences on the long-term outcomes for children in care.

That’s why, as part of your foster parent training, we’ll teach you how to put PACE model parenting into practice. You’ll also learn about the effects of trauma on child brain development, behaviour, attachment, and more so you know how to fully support children in your care.

We’ll be by your side, providing you with 24/7 support. From our dedicated professional teams and regular supervision to our support groups and activities for the whole family, you’ll never feel alone on your fostering journey.

So, if you’re ready to change a child’s life by providing therapeutic foster care, we’d love to hear from you! Call us on 0800 077 8159 or submit an online enquiry form, and one of our experienced team will contact you.

Why Therapeutic Fostering Matters

Foster partent showing Therapeutic Fostering

Many children in care have experienced adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). These experiences often leave a deep imprint that affects the way they see the world and cope with daily life; this is called trauma.

Therapeutic foster parents provide the guidance, empathy, and understanding that children and young people need to recover from their trauma. Join us as we explore therapeutic foster care in more detail. Find out what it means, how it’s applied, and the transformative effect it can have on children and young people in care.

What is therapeutic foster care?

At Fostering People, many children in our care have endured abuse, neglect, or other challenging experiences in their early lives.

When children move into a safe, stable and nurturing foster home, these experiences don’t just disappear from their memories. They stay with them, affecting their emotions, behaviour, relationships, and development. Trauma can also have a lifelong impact on their physical and mental well-being, influencing the way they navigate the world now and in adulthood.

Understanding trauma

When foster parents don’t understand trauma and the impact it has on every aspect of a child’s life, they may find a child’s behaviour confusing and overlook the root cause. As a result, these children won’t receive the guidance, understanding, and sense of emotional safety they need to heal.

That’s why therapeutic foster care is so important. It doesn’t stick a plaster on trauma – it addresses the challenges faced by children and young people in care and guides them on their healing journey.

Therapeutic foster parents provide nurturing homes of compassion and understanding, collaborating with trauma-informed fostering professionals to ensure their child’s entire well-being is cared for.

By providing this foundation of therapeutic support, we help children recover from their experiences, build positive relationships, manage their emotions, and begin to rebuild their lives.

What is a therapeutic approach?

Therapeutic foster parents are trauma-informed, recognising the impact trauma can have on a child’s behaviour, relationships, emotions, and development. When you foster with Fostering People, you’ll apply a therapeutic parenting approach, which includes:

Building a secure relationship

An essential part of a therapeutic approach to fostering is building a secure relationship with the child in your care. Children in care have often been let down by those they’ve trusted most, making it difficult for them to trust adults or believe that anyone has their best interests at heart.

Trust is at the core of every secure relationship. So, the child in your care needs to know that you’ll consistently show up for them and do what you say you’ll do. It also means providing them with a safe space to share their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or retribution, helping them to feel valued and heard.

Looking beyond behaviour

Another key feature of therapeutic fostering is viewing behaviour as a form of communication. Many children in care struggle to articulate their thoughts and feelings, so their behaviour becomes a window into their inner world and past experiences instead.

During prolonged abuse and neglect, children often develop coping mechanisms to survive painful experiences. Trauma can also physically alter the brain as it adapts to survive in a threatening environment. This changes the way they behave and interact with other people.

When children move into care, they may continue to use these survival behaviours without even realising it because they’ve become so deep-rooted.

What is their behaviour telling me?

An example of a survival mechanism children may use is hypervigilance. Hypervigilant children are always on high alert, scanning their surroundings and absorbing sensory information to check for danger.

Although this may have helped them stay safe in the past, it can make day-to-day life difficult for them when they move into care. They may become overstimulated in particular environments, such as school, and interpret ordinary interactions as a potential threat. This can trigger their fight-or-flight response, affecting their behaviour as they react to the perceived danger.

At Fostering People, we teach you to look at behaviour through a therapeutic lens. By paying attention and looking for patterns in a child’s behaviour, you gain a deeper understanding of their triggers. You can then support them in developing new ways of responding now they’re in a safe, stable, and nurturing home.

Always learning and adapting

A therapeutic approach to fostering isn’t a quick-fix solution. Foster parents who use this approach are on a continuous learning journey, adapting to the child or young person’s ever-changing needs.

At Fostering People, we make accessing therapeutic foster care training easy, offering a wide range of virtual and face-to-face training courses. When you join us, you’ll learn more about attachment theory and therapeutic parenting, and as time goes on, you’ll be able to access training specific to the needs of the child in your care.

All our foster parents receive training on PACE parenting, a therapeutic approach that stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy. PACE teaches you how to therapeutically interact with the child in your care, helping them build a positive attachment with you. By consistently using the principles of PACE, you can support children in learning new, healthier ways of coping with distressing thoughts and emotions.

Working with other fostering professionals

Part of a therapeutic approach to fostering is recognising when you need support. Sometimes, children in foster care need therapeutic intervention, and when fostering teenagers, you may need help to support them through this turbulent time in their lives.

Therapeutic fostering is a team effort, and at Fostering People, our support for foster parents and children means you are never alone. From regular meetings with your supervising social worker to dedicated support groups for new foster parents, our close-knit, supportive community will help you feel at home.

We’re here for you 24/7, and you’ll collaborate with our professional teams to help the child in your care thrive. We also organise local activities and events for the whole family to enjoy, giving every family member the opportunity to relax, make friends, and have fun.

Improving the outcomes of children in care

Children in care need more than just physical safety. They need adults to build them up and to show them that their past doesn’t have to dictate their future. They need to experience positive relationships that help them trust again and show them that the world isn’t as scary as they may have once thought.

Therapeutic foster parents play a vital role in this process. By providing children with a sense of belonging, stability, and a space to heal and grow, they help pave the way for brighter, happier, and more fulfilling futures for children in care.

 

Want to learn more about becoming a therapeutic foster parent? Call us on 0800 077 8159 or fill in our online enquiry form and a member of our friendly team will be in touch.

10 Tips to Help Prepare You for this Exam Season

If you’re coming back from the Easter holidays to your GCSE’s, you’ve probably already heard tons of exam prep advice and hacks to help you revise.

If you’re living with your foster parents, you’ve already had more to deal with than most young people your age, so we’ve put together 10 straight-talking, no-fluff tips to help get you through your exams without losing your mind.

  1. Start Small— Really Small

You don’t need to spend hours locked away with a textbook to be “doing revision.” Set a timer and start with just 10–15 minutes. Pick one topic or question. That’s it. Once you’ve done that, take a break. Often times the hardest thing is getting started, and getting something done is always better than being perfect!

  1. Create Your Safe Study Space (Wherever You Are)

You can revise wherever you feel comfortable— a bedroom, the kitchen table, the library or in a quiet corner with headphones. Just make sure it’s somewhere where you enjoy spending time. Put your phone on silent (or airplane mode if possible), and give yourself permission to focus without feeling guilty.

  1. Use What Works for You

Some people love flashcards. Others? Not so much. If you like watching videos, check out some YouTube explainer content or GCSE channels. Prefer drawing? Mind maps are a winner. Hate writing notes? Try voice-noting yourself. The best method is the one you’ll actually use.

  1. Build in Breaks (and Treats)

Set a timer for 20–30 minutes of study, then take a 5–10 minute break. Do something nice—grab a snack, play some music, go outside, message a mate. Small rewards give you a dopamine hit, and will train your brain to want to come back and do it again.

  1. Talk It Out

If you’re stuck, don’t sit there stressing. Ask your foster parent, teacher, or a friend, even if it’s just to talk through a topic. Teaching someone else, even someone imaginary or talking to a teddy, is actually a great way to remember stuff.  It’s the talking out loud that can help.

  1. Don’t Compare Yourself

It’s easy to feel like others are more prepared than you. We all compare ourselves to others sometimes, but keep your eyes on your own progress, not anyone else’s. Remember, no matter your results, the only person you’re in competition with is you!

  1. Let People Help You

There are so many people who want to see you win— whether it’s your teachers, parents, foster parents, social workers, friends or siblings. Let them in, and let them know when you’re struggling. Reaching our for help is not a sign of weakness— it’s smart, and strong.

  1. Look After You

Sleep, food, water— boring, but essential. You can’t revise well if you’re running on empty. Take a little self-care time out of your day to things that help calm you— this could be listening to music, walking, journaling, or gaming in moderation. Your mental health matters!

  1. See the Bigger Picture

GCSEs matter, but they don’t tell your whole story. Your results won’t define who you are or where you can go in life. They’re just one part of the journey. What does define you? Your resilience, your effort, and the fact that you’ve come this far, no matter what. That’s real strength.

  1. You’ve Got This

You’ve got strength, potential, and so much to offer. With the right mindset, you can achieve brilliant things— not just in your GCSEs, but in whatever path you choose next. Good luck!

Final Word?

Take one step at a time. Be kind to yourself. And remember: doing your best is enough. There’s a whole future ahead of you, and it’s not just about passing exams. It’s about embracing becoming the awesome person you already are.

You’ve got this!

Can I Foster if my Child has Additional Needs

If you have a child with additional needs, such as complex physical or mental health needs or a neurological disorder like Autism or ADHD, you may be wondering what it would be like to foster as a family.

Many people choose to foster alongside raising their own children, but things can be a little more complicated if your own child has additional needs. Read on to help you decide if fostering is right for your family at this time.

Is my child ready to foster?

Fostering is a huge decision, and it becomes even bigger when you have your own children to think about. The answer as to whether you’ll be able to foster while caring for your own child isn’t as simple as a blanket ‘yes’ or ‘no’— instead, the answer will depend entirely upon your family’s unique needs.

Every child with additional needs is different, and only you will know your child best. In your role as a foster parent, you must be able to fully meet the needs of both your own children and your foster children. When you get in touch with us, our team will work with you to help you decide if you’re ready to welcome another child into your home.

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COULD I FOSTER?

Things to consider…

When deciding whether or not fostering is right for you, ask yourself…

  • Can I accommodate all of my child’s needs while fostering?
  • Can I accommodate all of my foster child’s needs while fostering?
  • Can I foster while still taking good care of my physical, mental and emotional health?

Let’s take a look at each of these considerations in a bit more detail.

  1. The needs of your child

Fostering will have an impact on your entire household, and it’s important that it’s the right choice for every member of your family. Your first responsibility will always be to the children already living in your home, which is why you need to carefully consider your child’s needs before deciding to foster.

Living with a foster sibling comes with amazing benefits such as providing children with companionship and helping them to build empathy skills, but it also comes with its challenges. These can include:

  • Adjusting to the change of having a new sibling
  • Struggles with sibling jealousy
  • Learning to share their space, belongings and their time with you
  • Mimicking their foster sibling’s behaviours
  • Dealing with loss if their sibling returns home to their family or moves on

Not all children with additional needs will be able to thrive while their family fosters, and that is perfectly okay. Carefully consider your child’s needs and, if possible, involve them in the decision. Learn more about how fostering might impact your own children.

  1. The needs of the children you’ll foster

It is equally as important to carefully consider the needs of the children you’ll be welcoming into your home. Many children who need foster homes will have experienced multiple challenges in their young lives, such as being separated from their loved ones or facing neglect or abuse. These experiences, known as Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACE’s, may lead to trauma.

Children who live with the effects of trauma will need more support, time and attention than is usual in order to thrive. As a foster parent, you will need to balance meeting the needs of your foster child with your own child’s needs in order to create a safe and harmonious home environment for everyone. We’ll support you in this, and you’ll receive specialist training on how to provide therapeutic fostering to the children you care for.

  1. Your personal needs and strengths

Fostering is a wholly selfless act, but in order to give the best to the children in your care you’ll need to pay close attention to your own needs, too. To foster successfully without spreading yourself too thin, you’ll need to be honest with yourself and your family about what you can handle and what challenges fostering might bring. Ask yourself:

  • How will fostering while caring for my own child’s support needs impact my physical and mental wellbeing, and that of my family members?
  • Do I have a great support system who I can rely on? (Including family members, friends, or a partner)
  • Will I have enough time and energy to give my all to the children in my home? (Remember: on top of your usual responsibilities with your own child, you’ll need to fulfil regular commitments with your foster child, including attending meetings and appointments, getting them to school and taking them to visit their birth family.)

The types of foster care which you’re interested in offering will also influence how successful you’ll be in balancing fostering while caring for a child with additional needs. For example, if your neurodiverse child struggles with changes in their routine, emergency fostering, where children arrive with short notice and only stay for short periods of time, may be challenging. However, they might thrive while living with a foster sibling who is in a long-term placement, meaning that they will stay in your family home until they turn 18.

Being the parent to a disabled or neurodiverse child will mean that you have plenty of transferrable skills which could make you an incredible candidate to care for other children with complex needs. For example, if you have a child with ASD, you might thrive while fostering an autistic child alongside your own children.

Learn more about fostering a child with a disability or download our click below to download our free guide ‘Disability and Mental Health: A Foster Parent’s Guide to Complex Needs.’

DOWNLOAD OUR GUIDE
FOSTERING A CHILD WITH AUTISM

How we’ll support you

Fostering when you have a child with additional needs requires support, and that’s why you can always rely on our team here at Fostering People. When you get in touch with us our team will asses your family’s unique needs to ensure that you’re ready to foster, taking everything which we’ve discussed above into account.

We’ll support you through your fostering journey in a wide variety of ways, including:

  • We’ll use a careful matching process to ensure that we find a great dynamic between the children in your home.
  • We offer 14 nights of respite care to all of our foster parents so that you can rest and recharge.
  • You’ll receive a generous fostering allowance.
  • We offer ample training opportunities where you can learn about all sorts of subjects including supporting neurodiverse children and sibling relationships.
  • We’ll provide you with plenty of guidance via our 24/7 helpline, our local support groups and sessions with your personal supervising social worker.

Learn more about the vast range of support we offer.

Support for your children 

Here at Fostering People we offer lots of support for our young people, designed to meet the needs of both your children and the children you’ll welcome into your home. Some of this support includes:

  • Specialist support for children with autism
  • A children’s council who have their say in how we do things here at Fostering People
  • Regular fun and free family events, tailored to support your child’s needs
  • Therapeutic and educational support for foster children

Is your family ready to foster? 

There are many children across the UK right now who are in need of stable, loving family homes. If you’re interested in opening your home to a child and learning more about what it takes to become a foster family, contact our team on 0800 3698512 or by filling in our enquiry form.

Playful Parenting: Putting P.A.C.E Strategies into Action

Here at Fostering People we utilise the P.A.C.E parenting model, a trauma-informed parenting approach comprised of four key characteristics which you can use to help children navigate their emotions; playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy.

Let’s take a look at the first P.A.C.E strategy in a little more detail and discover how you can start incorporating playful parenting tips into day-to-day life with your foster child.

The importance of play

Play is not just about having fun; it’s a crucial part of every child’s development and is seen across many species. As Professor Carla Rinaldi said, “Play and learning are like the two wings of a butterfly— one cannot exist without the other.” In humans, play supports us to understand the world around us, make new social connections and develop key skills such as fine motor skills and executive function. Different styles of play, such as imaginative play and rule-based games, help children’s development in different areas.

Playfulness in P.A.C.E

Being playful in your parenting style isn’t about being happy and positive all the time, and it certainly isn’t about joking around when a child is upset or teasing them. Instead, playful parenting aims to create a light and positive atmosphere where your child feels free to be completely themselves and where they know that they are safe. Dr. Dan Hughes, the founder of Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy and the P.A.C.E model, defines playfulness in parenting as:

“It’s about enjoying the relationship. That’s where the ‘P’ in P.A.C.E really manifests itself. The playfulness is an enjoyment of the child in the relationship.”

Being playful with your children shows them that you are comfortable and relaxed in their presence, and that you enjoy being around them. Having an adult who truly engages can be life-changing in helping a child to heal from trauma and begin building deep, healthy connections with the people in their lives.

Let’s explore some playful P.A.C.E strategies which can help you to foster therapeutically.

3 Playful P.A.C.E strategies for young children

  1. Use a light and friendly communication style. Taking a gentle, friendly approach to daily life can help your little ones to feel at ease. Use a gentle tone of voice and get down onto their level when speaking with them. Be mindful of your facial expressions and body language; things like frowning or having your arms crossed may make you appear threatening. Don’t be afraid to be silly, which can diffuse tension and provide plenty of opportunities for fun and laughter together. Try to keep your interactions positive and fun wherever appropriate, and use active listening techniques such as reflecting back what has been said to you and asking open questions to get the most out of your chats together.
  2. Take joy in the world around you. Show your child that the world can be a safe and welcoming place for them by taking the time to highlight the wonderful things which we can easily take for granted, by finding fun in the mundane. A bit of imagination and a playful spirit can transform even something as everyday as the school run; perhaps you could challenge your little one to listen out for birds and see who’s best at imitating their calls, or bring their wellies along at pick up time so that you can enjoy splashing in puddles together on the walk home!
  3. Use play to explore emotions. For some children who have experienced trauma, putting a name to emotions and empathising with others can be challenging. One great way to help teach these skills is through imaginative play. This could be by roleplaying scenarios with toys during playtime, or by pausing while reading a story book to talk about how the characters are feeling.

You can also utilise this technique when watching TV or YouTube together by reflecting on character interactions at the end of an episode. For example, in this adorable scene from the popular cartoon Bluey, Bluey and her younger sister spend so much time squabbling over not wanting to share their desserts that their delicious ice-creams melt in the sun. By asking open questions such as, ‘how do you think Bluey felt when she saw that her ice cream had melted?’ or ‘why do you think Bluey’s dad decided to share his own ice cream?’ you can help your little one to start naming emotions and build empathy skills.

3 Playful parenting strategies for older children and teenagers

Though being playful may look different for older children, it’s just as important. Let’s look at 3 playful parenting strategies which work great for older kids.

  1. Find a hobby which you can share. Whether it’s gaming nights, cooking together or a shared love of sport, shared hobbies are great for building bonds. Try to find a hobby which prioritises your teen’s interests over your own, and don’t be afraid to try something new— maybe they would love for you to help them create a home-made costume to show off at a comic con, or would love to see you get involved in another unusual activity like roller-derby or Geocaching!Showing your young person that you really care about their interests by trying something new and getting a little out of your comfort zone can really help the two of you to bond. Keep things friendly if you’re doing something competitive.  Remember that your focus should always be on enjoying the process together rather than trying to be the best at a sport or having a perfect end product with creative hobbies like art or baking. Volunteering together in your community is also a fantastic way to help others while helping your teen to build confidence, social skills and empathy.
  2. Get your teen involved and ‘gamify’ everyday tasks. Getting your young person involved in suitable household tasks is a great opportunity to spend time together while teaching them the skills they’ll need to become independent and responsible adults. Asking your teenager to help out also shows them that they’re a valued member of your family with a part to play.Even mundane tasks can be tuned into great opportunities to bond when we sprinkle in a little playfulness. You can incorporate playfulness in a myriad of different ways during everyday chores and interactions, such as by turning on some music you both love to sing along to while washing up or by starting a water fight while washing the car together on a sunny day. Learn more about how to build a strong bond with the teens in your care.
  3. Allow them to be children. Remember, though it’s easy to forget at times, our teenagers are still children. Some children may need time and encouragement to behave like children again if they have experienced Parentification. They may also at times act much younger than you might expect. If you spot behaviours in your teen which seem unusual for their age, these may be a result of how trauma has influenced their maturation and brain development.Rather than berating them by demanding that they ‘act their age,’ it’s important to recognise that they may be at a different level developmentally and may need a different approach to support. Many children who have experience of being in care have also missed out on much of the fun and freedom of childhood, so make an effort to encourage them to express themselves and act childlike where appropriate and join in with their joy.

Playful parenting resources

Can’t get enough of our playful parenting tips? Check out some of our recommended resources below for more ideas on how you can incorporate playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy into your families’ everyday life.

  • ‘The P in P.A.C.E,’ a brilliant article by Dr Chris Moore, educational psychologist
  • Our blog on understanding the unseen effects of childhood trauma
  • Dr Dan Hughes’ website, where you can learn more about playful parenting directly from the creator of P.A.C.E
  • Watch the still face experiment, which shows just how much of an impact play has on parent and child interactions
  • This article from The Marbles Kids Museum, which suggests a bunch of fun and playful parenting strategies for kids of all ages

Applying P.A.C.E in daily life

Using the P.A.C.E approach helps to teach your foster child that you are an adult to be relied upon, who cares deeply about their wellbeing and emotions and who will be there to support them through whatever challenges they may face. You’ll learn more about the 4 P.A.C.E strategies during your training with us as we prepare you to become a new foster parent.

Ready to learn more about what it takes to become a foster parent? Our team here at Fostering People would love to hear from you. Enquire with us today to get started on your journey towards changing the lives of children or learn more about the support we offer to our foster parents. 

New Year, New Start: Why 2025 Could Be the Perfect Time to Foster

new career of fostering

How to choose a new career

Starting a new career may seem daunting, but when you take a step back, you’ll see that it’s actually an opportunity to go on a journey of self-discovery. It forces you to reflect and ask yourself whether your current career aligns with your values, goals, and the lifestyle you wish to lead. Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you decide on a new career and why fostering could be the perfect choice.

What matters to you?

What are you hoping to get out of your new career? Whether it be an improved sense of job satisfaction or a desire to make a direct difference, figuring out what matters most to you will help narrow down your career search.

A career that transforms young lives

If you’re looking for a career where you’ll make a significant impact, fostering could be your ideal vocation. There are currently around 70,000 children living in foster care in the UK and this number is predicted to rise in 2025. We urgently need more foster parents to provide safe, stable and nurturing homes for the most vulnerable children in our society.

What could be more satisfying than supporting a child’s development and building their self-esteem, confidence and trust?

What transferable skills do you have?

Whichever career route you’ve taken up until this point, you will have gained transferable job skills that you can apply to your new role. Grab a notepad and write down the knowledge, experience, and skills you’ve gained in previous roles to see if they align with any potential new career paths.

Transferable skills include:

  • Communication
  • Organisation
  • Collaboration
  • Resilience
  • Problem-solving
  • Adaptability
  • Patience
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Compassion
  • Job specific training, knowledge and experience.

Transferable skills for fostering

If you possess any transferable skills mentioned above and are eager to develop them further, fostering could be the perfect next step in your career journey.

The role of a foster parent is extremely varied, involving everything from daily care and school drop-offs to managing behaviour, emotions and family time meetings. Not only will you utilise these skills on a daily basis, but with Fostering People, we’ll help you enhance them even further.

When you foster with us, we’re committed to your personal growth and professional development. We’ll equip you with the knowledge and local support you need to provide therapeutic foster care for children and young people who are living with the trauma of their early life experiences. Our comprehensive foster care training will also prepare you to face any challenges, transitions or barriers you or the child in your care may face along the way.

How do you want to work?

Some people thrive in a buzzing office environment, while others prefer the flexibility of not being tied to a single location. Many enjoy the structure of a traditional 9-to-5 working day, whereas others are energised by a more varied role with flexible hours. Similarly, some individuals prefer working from home, while others find comfort in heading to the same workplace each day.

Take some time to reflect on how you want to work and how it aligns with the lifestyle you envision for yourself, both now and in the future.

Fostering around your commitments

If you’re looking for a job role that’s rewarding and flexible, fostering could be the ideal profession for you. At Fostering People, we offer a wide range of fostering placements, enabling you to foster alongside your existing commitments.

When you apply to foster with us, we’ll take the time to understand your preferences and help identify the type of fostering that best suits your lifestyle. For example, if you’d prefer to start gradually or have other obligations that make long-term fostering difficult, you could consider fostering a child in an emergency or providing respite care for other foster parents.

The child’s age can also be a factor in finding the right fit – young children often require more hands-on care, while teenagers tend to be more independent.

Our training works around your schedule, with many courses available online or delivered in your local community. Our support is also local. Our social workers live and work within the communities they serve, ensuring help is always close at hand. This prevents you from travelling far to access the support you need.

What are your salary expectations?

If you’re currently in a job role where you feel your hard work and meaningful contributions aren’t reflected in your pay, it’s the perfect opportunity to reassess your salary expectations before exploring a new career.

Sometimes, embarking on a new career path may involve a temporary reduction in salary. For many, this is a worthwhile step towards pursuing a career they’re passionate about. Others may find this more challenging due to their financial commitments. However, with careful planning, this transition can still be rewarding.

If you possess experience, knowledge, and skills relevant to your prospective new career, this may not apply, but it is still worth considering.

Foster parent pay

If you’re keen to pursue a career where your hard work and commitment are truly valued and rewarded, 2025 could be the perfect time to consider becoming a foster parent.

At Fostering People, we’re dedicated to ensuring you feel appreciated for the incredible steps you take to improve the lives of children and young people in care. That’s why we offer a generous fostering allowance, currently averaging at £482 per week per child, which is typically tax-free.

You’ll additionally benefit from a range of perks, including exclusive discounts from hundreds of brands. Whether you want to treat the child in your care to a day out or a trip to the cinema, these discounts enrich your fostering experience and allow you to take every opportunity to make memories that last a lifetime.

Are you thinking about a post-retirement career?

If you’re post-retirement, you may wonder: Am I too old to start a new career? The answer is no – you’re never too old to embark on a new career. However, it’s essential to think about the types of careers that will best suit your individual circumstances. To help you make your decision, consider the following:

Do you want to work full-time or part-time?

  • If you have any health issues, will they affect your ability to perform particular roles?
  • How long do you want to continue working?
  • Will working fit into your desired retirement lifestyle?

Many people choose to work after they’ve retired and bring a huge amount of life experience and knowledge to the world of work.

Fostering after retirement

If you’re exploring a new career post-retirement, fostering could be an excellent choice. There’s no upper age limit to foster, and at Fostering People, many of our foster parents use their retirement to make a meaningful difference in young lives.

Foster parents who start their journey in retirement bring a wealth of knowledge, experience and wisdom to the role, which can have a profound impact on the children they care for.

As part of the assessment process, you’ll undergo a health check to ensure fostering won’t negatively affect your well-being and confirm you can keep up with the demands of caring for young people. With our support, fostering in retirement can be a deeply rewarding and fulfilling journey.

Discover a new career in fostering

If you’re ready to take your career in a new and rewarding direction by becoming a foster parent, here are the initial requirements you’ll need to meet:

  • You must be 21 or over.
  • You must have a spare bedroom for a child to make their own.
  • You must have the legal right to live and work in the UK.

Call us today to learn about fostering in more detail and take the first step towards making 2025 the most exciting and fulfilling year of your career journey yet. Together, we can help you build a career that will not only change the lives of children and young people but yours as well.

Enquire today

How Fostering People prepare new foster parents to foster successfully

New Foster Parents

When you first begin the process of fostering, things can feel overwhelming as you learn all of the roles and responsibilities which come with being a new foster parent.

Let’s explore some of the ways in which our team at Fostering People will create a bubble of support around your family and help prepare you to foster successfully.

Home Visits

When you first apply to become a foster parent, you’ll take part in a fostering assessment process. As part of your fostering assessment, a social worker will visit you 8-10 times across the span of a few months to really get to know you, your family dynamics, and to get to the heart of what it is that will make you a fantastic foster parent.

During this time you’ll be given all of the information you need and will have the opportunity to ask any and all questions which will arise as you prepare to foster.

Excellent Training

During your fostering assessment process you will take part in a 2-3 day training course, offered either in-person or online, where you’ll have the opportunity to learn from our experienced training staff and meet other soon-to-be foster parents. Once you’re approved to foster you will also take part in a range of mandatory courses including Health and Safety and First Aid.

We also offer our very own ‘Next Steps’ foster care training programme which will teach you a wide range of crucial information, including understanding attachment theory and how to use therapeutic parenting techniques.

The learning doesn’t have to stop there; as an approved foster parent you will also have access to our online learning platform where you can take part in a whole range of interesting courses, available as both e-learning and virtual sessions with a trainer. You can choose any topics which interest you or which will help you to support a child in your care, with topics including gaming and gambling awareness, supporting a child with an eating disorder, and understanding gangs and knife crime.

We understand that everyone has unique learning styles and preferences. To accommodate everyone’s unique needs, we also provide face-to-face training sessions at our local offices where foster parents can come together, build new relationships and share their experiences during our training sessions.

Preparing the whole family

We believe in building close-knit communities and strengthening family bonds, which is why we make an extra effort to support your children through the fostering assessment process and beyond. Becoming a fostering family can be a big transition for some children, who may deal with feelings of jealousy or loneliness if they aren’t given the proper support during each stage of fostering.

During your home visits, your Supervising Social Worker will take the time to get to know your own children and will support you in supporting them through this exciting time of change. We also have a range of online resources for children of foster parents, including our guide for children and young people whose parents are considering fostering.

Your Supervising Social Worker

As a new foster parent, you’ll be assigned a designated Supervising Social Worker who will work closely with you throughout your fostering journey, being by your side to provide you will all of the help and advice you’ll need.

“My main role is to supervise and support foster parents,” says Rob, one of our Supervising Social Workers. “I see my other main responsibility as being an advocate for the foster parents I work with, and even more so for the children they care for. It’s important to ensure that everyone’s needs are taken care of.’

By developing a great working relationship with your Supervising Social Worker, you can help to build a fantastic network of support around the children you’ll be caring for.

Support from other foster parents

We have an incredible foster parent buddy scheme, where as a new foster parent you’ll be matched with an experienced foster parent in your area who can give you help and advice during your assessment process and your first few months of fostering.

We also host regular support groups, including ones designed specifically for newly approved foster parents, where you can share your experiences, learn together and make new friends. We also plan regular events throughout the year where the whole family can have fun while making new friends.

Ongoing support, whenever you need it

As a foster parent with us you’ll also benefit from a wide range of other support once you begin fostering, including:

  • A generous fostering allowance
  • Access to our discounts platform
  • 24/7 phone line
  • 14 days of optional respite per year
  • Free membership to Fostertalk
  • Learn more about the holistic support we offer to our foster parents.

Ready to begin your fostering journey?

We’d love to hear from you if you’re passionate about the idea of fostering. Give us a call on 0800 077 8159 or fill in our enquiry form to learn more about how you can begin making a difference.

Celebrating Black History Month: Uplifting Children’s Cultural Identity

Why do we celebrate Black History Month?

Black History Month UK is a time to highlight the crucial contributions of black communities in shaping our world, to recognise the prejudices faced by the black community, and to celebrate the influence of black culture on life in the UK.

Here at Fostering People, we understand the importance of supporting children’s cultural identity in every aspect of their lives, and we respect and value the cultural heritage of every child, foster parent and staff member.

Let’s explore some ways in which foster parents can celebrate children’s heritage throughout the year, helping them to cultivate a strong sense of their identity and pride in who they are.

The importance of understanding identity in fostering

The majority of foster parents in the UK are from a white background, meaning that many children spend their time in foster care in cross-cultural placements. These foster families do an incredible job in caring for children, as they are dedicated to understanding the importance of helping children to maintain a strong connection to their heritage.

In foster care, it is widely accepted that we can reach the best outcomes for children when they live with a foster family who share their culture, whether that be sharing the same race, ethnicity or religion. There’s a real need for more foster parents from ethnic minority backgrounds, and we’re always encouraging more people to foster.

‘Sometimes you have to live it to know it,’ says foster mum Yvonne, who has been changing the lives of children in the East Midlands for the past fourteen years. ‘Often young people in care will go to school with a majority of white people, then come home to white people, but it’s important that they are able to experience their own culture…. we want them to see positive [black] role models and professional people.’

Read more of Yvonne’s story, or keep on reading to discover 5 ways in which you can help to support your foster child’s cultural identity.

5 ways to support your foster child’s cultural identity

Celebrate children’s identity at home

When you choose to become a foster parent, you’re making a dedication to support a child in every aspect of their life. Creating an inclusive environment for your foster child is an incredible way of supporting them to develop their confidence and sense of self-image.

You can help to make your home a place where their heritage is embraced in many ways, such as by learning to cook their favourite meals and by ensuring they have access to everything they need, such as the right products for their skin and hair. If your foster child isn’t from the UK, you could making an effort to learn their first language or support them to wear traditional dress. If your foster child is religious, you should ensure that you embrace their faith and encourage them to worship in whichever way feels right to them.

Be mindful of respecting your young person’s interests and accounting for their preferences, even if they differ from your own—for example, don’t criticize the music they like, harmless slang they use among their friends or their fashion choices. Doing this may make them feel as though they need to hide a part of their identity away from you, which is damaging to you relationship as a family and to your young person’s self-image.

Deepen your knowledge with our training resources

Our foster parents are always strengthening their knowledge, and one of the ways you can do this is by taking part in our range of training opportunities. Our cultural training for foster parents covers a range of topics including caring for a child from a different background to your own and how to promote equality and diversity, meaning you’ll be equipped with all the skills you need to give your foster children the best possible care.

We offer our training in multiple formats, including online modules and in-person training where you’ll have the opportunity to meet other foster parents and learn from one another’s experiences.

We encourage you to utilise other sources like your local library to continue to strengthen your understanding of your young person’s heritage and the importance of supporting children’s cultural growth. A great place to start is our resource booklet, developed specially for Black History Month.

Take an intersectional approach

To take an intersectional approach means to recognise the ways in which different forms of oppression can intertwine and impact upon a person’s life. It’s important to develop a deep understanding of the intersectionality between the different forms of prejudice which the child in your care may face.

‘Most children living with our foster parents are likely to be at a disadvantage to the majority of young people as a result of the adversity they have experienced in the early years of their life,’ said Glenda, one of our managers in the East Midlands. ‘Young people with additional protected characteristics are at greater risk of disadvantage, which has the potential to impact on their immediate and longer term life experiences and potential.’

It’s important that we recognise that, along with prejudices such as racism, young people in foster care may encounter prejudice due to harmful stereotypes about people with experience of living in care. One way which this can impact children with ethnic minority heritage in particular is through Adultification. Adultification is the misguided and dangerous practice of treating children as though they are more mature than they really are. You’ll have the opportunity to learn more about Adultification through our online training platform.

Support children’s mental health

Here at Fostering People we take a therapeutic approach to foster care. One of your crucial roles as a foster parent is to support the mental wellbeing of the children you care for. People from ethnic minority backgrounds face racism on both an institutional and interpersonal level, which can be damaging to a person’s mental health. Racial discrimination can come in many forms, including verbal or online abuse, stereotyping and micro-aggressions.

Ensure that race it a topic you speak openly about in your home, and encourage your young person to talk openly about their experiences. Really listen to what they say when they’re ready to share, reassuring them that their feelings are valid. Be an advocate for them when they need support, and ensure that both you and your young person understand what help is available to you if they face abuse or discrimination, whether online, at school or in any other environment.

We recommend that you read our guidance on how to support a child who is struggling with their mental health, as well as this fantastic article from the YoungMinds charity about how to support children whose mental health is impacted by racism. Talk to your Supervising Social Worker if you believe that a young person in your care could benefit from additional support such as counselling.

Reach out for support

Our team here at Fostering People are well-prepared to support you and the children who you care for in every aspect of your lives together. Your family will receive comprehensive support from a range of professionals including your Supervising Social Worker and our CEOP online safety ambassador.

As well as our excellent training, you’ll have the opportunity to meet other foster parents from a wide range of backgrounds at our regular foster parent support groups. Learning from other experienced foster parents in is a fantastic way of developing your skills, and our local fun family events will provide opportunities for your young person to build a community of friends and role models who share their experiences.

For children in cross-cultural placements, we’ve also designed an action plan for every child which is tailored to their unique needs and regularly reviewed to ensure that everyone involved in their care is doing everything can to support their cultural heritage. By working together to achieve the best outcomes for children from an ethnic minority background, we can all do our part in helping to strengthen a child’s sense of who they are.

Understanding identity and diversity throughout the year

It’s so important to help children to understand and embrace their heritage, helping them to be proud of who they are and what makes them special. This Black History Month, let’s all make a commitment to continue working every day to help children to understand their cultural identity.

Do you think you might be ready to foster? Here at Fostering People we’re always ready to welcome new foster parents from all different backgrounds so that we can help change the lives of more children together. Reach out to us today on 0800 077 8159 or by filling in our enquiry form to speak with a member of our team who will help you learn more about becoming part of our team of caring, committed foster parents.

What Makes Fostering a Teenager Incredibly Rewarding

Teens in care

Imagine; you’re in your teenage years and due to circumstances out of your control, you are unable to live with your family. You can’t go home— perhaps you don’t want to. You’re being moved away from your friends and family and have been told that you will be moving into a stranger’s home. Wouldn’t the world feel like a scary, lonely place?

Thousands of children have found themselves in this difficult position. Thankfully, there are wonderful foster parents up and down the UK who foster teenagers, welcoming them into their homes and lives. All foster parents start as strangers but are soon able to become the pillar of support which a young person comes to rely on as their house becomes the young person’s home, filled with the love, care and protection which every child deserves.

Breaking the stigma

There are several myths surrounding teenagers who are in foster care or children’s homes. Some people assume that teenagers are in care due to poor or anti-social behaviour which their parents have been unable to manage. This is not the truth.

The truth is that children come into care for a variety of reasons, none of which they are to blame for. The death of a parent or caregiver can mean that some children come into care, while others have come from a home which was neglectful or abusive. Many care-experienced teenagers will have been in the foster care system since they were little, may will have experienced complex trauma which they need help and guidance to process and ultimatley heal from.

Protecting vulnerable children of every age

It is important for everyone to recognise that teenagers are still children and are in many ways just as vulnerable as younger children. Teens are especially vulnerable to exploitation by gangs, trafficking and sexual exploitation, with one study finding that ‘compared to younger children, teenagers in care are six times more likely to be victims of sexual exploitation,’ and another finding that an estimated 30,000 – 50,000 children in the UK have been lured into involvement with gangs.

The adultification of vulnerable children is dangerous, and particularly impacts children from Black and Minority Ethnic (BAME) backgrounds. Treating vulnerable children as though they are adults robs them of their childhood and can lead to failings in protect them from dangers.

It’s vital that looked after young people are provided with a loving, protective environment to help shield them from exploitation. Teenagers in foster care need and deserve compassionate care and protection just as much as any other child.

Could you foster a teenager?

There’s a real need for more foster parents who are eager to welcome teenagers into their home. You don’t need experience of looking after a teen and you can become a foster parent even if you’ve had no experience in looking after children before.

If you choose to change a life by welcoming a young person into your home, you’ll soon begin reaping the rewards. Read on to discover some amazing reasons why you should consider fostering a teenager.

5 reasons to consider fostering a teenager

Be there for kids most in need of safe and loving homes

There is a shortage of foster parents who are open to providing a home for older children. This means that many older children in need of a home are moved into shared children’s homes or supported accommodation, which can lack the benefit of a family environment and 1-1 care due to rotating staff and more children to care for. Due to a lack of available foster homes, older children are also regularly separated from their siblings, which can be incredibly distressing.

Older kids in foster care have often been through a variety of moves and disruptions. You could provide a child with the invaluable gift of stability. They may never before have experienced a safe home with a parental figure who has their best interests as their top priority. Your love, care and nurturing home environment could provide them with the tools they need to heal, improving their prospects as they take their crucial first steps towards young adulthood.

Support young people at a pivotal time

Our teenage years are formative, and can have an enormous impact on our overall life. All teenagers experience a range of turbulences and difficulties in these pivotal years, whether it be to do with hormones, body image, schooling, or friends. Children who are care experienced often have a lot more to deal with on top of these usual challenges due to their circumstances.

As a therapeutically trained foster parent, you’ll have the opportunity to help guide a teen through this difficult period, teaching them about healthy relationships and being there as an adult they can trust. You can encourage them to achieve their best academically and help them to decide what they want to do with their future as they approach adulthood and age out of foster care. There’s nothing more rewarding than seeing a young person transform and succeed.

Fostering a teenager is a rare opportunity to make a real difference to a young person’s life prospects before they begin making their way into the adult world, which often lacks understanding of the experiences of care-experienced youth. You can be a pillar of support and guidance, showing them the way to a healthy, fulfilling life and a future which is all their own.

Support their independence

When you foster a teenager, you’ll more than likely benefit from having more freedom and flexibility than if you were to care for a younger child. Teens are able to stay on their own for short periods of time and often require less close supervision. They also value having alone time, autonomy and their own personal space. Most teens are fully able to take care of their personal care needs and are responsible enough to take care of their own daily routines, such as getting themselves to school or making themselves a snack.

Fostering a teen can also be great fun— teenagers tend to have a wicked sense of humour, and rather than the hours of kids cartoons you’d likely watch while looking after younger children, you and the teens you care for can form bonds over and enjoy age-appropriate shows, games and hobbies together. Their maturity will allow you to have a different style of relationship than the bonds you would form with a younger child, which can often make communication easier.

This ability won’t only be an asset during the fun times, but during harder times, too. It’s important to be honest and open with teens, acknowledging their level of maturity. Teenagers are also often better equipped to understand their situation better, and the logic behind why certain decisions about their care have been made, in a way that a younger child would be unable to understand. However, this doesn’t mean that these decisions will be any less upsetting or frustrating. By listening to and respecting their views, you can help them to build a deep, trusting bon with you.

The sudden freedom of turning eighteen and leaving care may excite some young people and may make others anxious about their future. Encouraging freedom and independence in a safe, nurturing environment can be hugely beneficial in shaping your teen into a self-sufficient young adult who’ll be ready to handle the new responsibility of caring for themselves, and in making the transition from a foster home to independent living much easier.

Build a lifelong connection

When you foster a child, you’ll treasure the memories of the time you shared with them. There’s no doubt they’ll remember you, too. Your relationship with the teenager you foster doesn’t have to change when they turn eighteen. You can choose to continue offering a young person a loving home and a place to stay through the Staying Put arrangement until they feel ready to move away from home.

Many care-experienced teenagers choose to keep in touch with their foster family, whether that’s the occasional text message to check in on how one another are doing, or whether it’s continuing to spend time together and sharing celebrations like Christmas or birthdays together. The bond you can build with a teenager is a beautiful thing, and it has the potential to last even when they become adults.

Our generous fostering allowance

As the foster parent of a teenager you will receive a generous fostering allowance to help you support the young person in your care. Alongside a generous fostering allowance, when you foster with us you’ll benefit from a wide range of support including a 24/7 helpline, local support groups, ongoing training opportunities and the option to take 14 days of paid respite per year. With the support of our dedicated team of childcare professionals, there will always be someone there to help you and the teens in your care with any challenges you may face.

Are you ready to foster?

If you’d love to offer your heart and your home to a teenager in need, we’ll be there to support you every step of the way. We’ll always be on hand to offer both you and the young person in your care tailored support whenever you need us.

Get in touch today by filling in our enquiry form or giving us a call on 0808 304 2454. While you’re here, why not watch our video to learn more from our friendly team about what happens when you make an enquiry with us?

The Importance of a Trauma-Informed Approach in Foster Care

At Fostering People, we support children from diverse backgrounds, but one thing they often have in common is trauma from adverse childhood experiences. That’s why we are committed to therapeutic fostering and using a trauma-informed approach so children living with trauma can heal.

But what is trauma, and why is a trauma-informed approach important in foster care? Keep reading to find out.

What is Trauma?

Many children in care have experienced prolonged adverse childhood experiences, such as abuse and neglect. These experiences affect each child uniquely and can impact all areas of their life now and in adulthood.

Childhood trauma causes emotional pain and mental health conditions like depression, anxiety and PTSD. There can also be physical symptoms and a reduction in cognitive function, making it more difficult for children with trauma to concentrate, retain memories and learn new things.

When ignored or left untreated, childhood trauma can lead to a lack of fulfilment when they reach adulthood. It may also lead them to fall behind their peers at school and, in the future, make it difficult to form relationships and impact employment.

All is not lost; we can mitigate the impacts of trauma by using a trauma-informed approach in foster care, giving children with trauma hope and a brighter future.

What Does Trauma-Informed Mean?

The trauma-informed approach means understanding children living with trauma and how it can impact all areas of their lives. It’s about being mindful of triggers and providing a safe and stable foster home where they can freely express their emotions and be themselves.

Through a combination of this and collaboration with enhanced communities of support, children can begin to recover from their trauma and reach their full potential.

Safety and Stability

Recovery can only begin if children have a safe and stable home. A safe and stable home protects and promotes children’s physical, mental, spiritual and emotional well-being. It’s a platform for children to discover themselves, build relationships, find educational fulfilment, and feel empowered to succeed.

At Fostering People, we ensure the best matches between foster families and children by truly getting to know everyone. By doing so, we nurture the whole family and provide children with homes where their triggers are understood and alleviated so they can heal.

Building Trust Through Understanding

Another crucial aspect of the trauma-informed approach involves taking the time to look beyond the behaviour of children living with trauma. It means slowing down your response so you can recognise their triggers and understand their inner world; this helps you provide appropriate support.

At Fostering People, we train our foster parents to use the PACE approach. PACE stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy. It encourages foster parents to be mindful of their interactions with children who have trauma, responding thoughtfully, creating trust and helping them through big emotions.

Playfulness – means two things. Firstly, it’s adding appropriately timed moments of silliness and playfulness into your daily interactions with children. This could mean creating a song about washing up or dancing whilst baking together. These moments give you an opportunity to bond and can make children feel at ease.

Secondly, playfulness means using soft tones and facial expressions when responding to children’s behaviour if being silly in this situation would be inappropriate. For example, if they have fallen out with a friend, it would be inappropriate to make a joke. Instead, you could use open body language, ensure you’re at their level and use a light-hearted tone.

Acceptance – means accepting the cause of a child’s behaviour because you know there is an underlying explanation. It also means providing non-judgemental support so they can share their thoughts, feelings and emotions.

For example, the child in your care grew up in a home where they often felt hungry, they have been hiding food in their bedroom for weeks, and you find some moulding under their bed. At first, you may feel confused or annoyed, but the PACE approach encourages you to stop and think about the underlying reasons for this behaviour before responding. You can then explain to the child in your care that they don’t need to hide food in their room because they can ask you for it if they feel hungry.

Curiosity – When children enter a new foster home, they may not feel comfortable or able to share their feelings, emotions, or experiences. So, it is vital to be curious and attentive to decode their behaviours and, by doing so, show the child that you care about their thoughts and feelings.

Curiosity means being mindful of children’s behaviour and asking questions that help you better understand. For example, the child in your care comes home from school upset and rips up a card she received on her birthday from her best friend, which indicates she has fallen out with her friend and this could be triggering feelings of rejection. With this in mind, you can approach the subject with understanding and ask questions that show the child you care.

Empathy – means putting yourself in the child’s position and imagining how they must be feeling so you can better understand their behaviour. You can then respond to the child using compassionate language.

For example, the child in your care wants to go swimming this weekend but has an ear infection, so they can’t go and they are upset. You can explain that you understand their frustration and why they are upset because you know swimming is their favourite activity, which could help them feel less alone in their feelings.

Community and Collaboration

The trauma-informed approach emphasises collaboration and building strong communities that put foster families at the centre. This is why, at Fostering People, we create close-knit communities that support the needs of the whole family. We ensure everyone feels safe, supported and valued, giving children with trauma a nurturing environment to thrive.

Our trauma-informed communities include:

  • Dedicated social worker – Our social workers live and work from home in the communities they serve, meaning they are close at hand to offer guidance, support and advice whenever needed. Our social workers are all PACE trained, to support you in your fostering role.
  • Support groups – We offer support groups in local community venues that allow you to meet other foster parents, discuss your experiences and enhance your skills in the trauma-informed approach.
  • Network of fostering professionals – Being trauma-informed means knowing that often, children with trauma need input from fostering specialists like therapists, who can provide counselling to help them work through their trauma. Our network includes therapists, social workers and more.
  • Community activities and events – each region has a calendar bursting with fun activities and events for the whole family to enjoy. Giving you and the children in your care a chance to make friends, build on your support and spend time with like-minded people.
  • 24/7 assistance – our phone line is available 24/7 with experts waiting to help you, no matter the time of day.

Trauma-informed Training

At Fostering People, our trauma-informed training equips foster parents with the skills and knowledge they need to support children living with trauma.

Our trauma-informed training includes:

  • Prepare to foster training – completed during your assessment; our ‘Next Steps’ programme will introduce you to therapeutic parenting and the trauma-informed approach.
  • Induction training – Once approved, you’ll complete our induction training on topics such as Safeguarding, First Aid and Equality, Diversity & Inclusion.
  • Advanced training – When you’ve completed your induction training, you can opt to complete training in specialist topics like Emotional Wellbeing, Mental Health Awareness and Child Development to broaden your knowledge.

Many training courses are delivered online, and in-person courses take place in local community venues. Your supervising social worker will work with your family to make sure you receive training that will help you support children living with trauma effectively.

Do you want to join a fostering agency committed to providing children with trauma-informed care? Get in touch to learn more about the role of a foster parent and to find out how much fostering allowance you could receive.

Together, using a trauma-informed approach, we can change the outcomes for children with childhood trauma and make an extraordinary difference that will last a lifetime.

Can you foster if you have a dog?

Over half of UK households have a pet, so we are often asked, ‘Can I foster if I have a pet?’ But what about dogs? With cautionary tales plastering the news, it’s no wonder people are confused.

We can confirm that having a dog won’t necessarily stop you from fostering. Not only are dogs adorable, but they are a comfort and a friend to the whole family, with countless benefits for children living in foster homes.

Are all dogs considered when you foster?

We consider most dogs, but like humans, their personalities, backgrounds and temperaments are unique, so your dog will be viewed as a family member during your assessment, being assessed alongside you.

We’ll ask questions about your dog before seeking further details about your dog’s health, care and behaviour from your vet. When we visit you at home, we’ll get to know your furry companion to ensure they are safe living with children.

Banned Dog Breeds

Our top priority is the well-being and safety of the children and young people you foster, so if your dog’s breed is on the banned list, they’ll need to be relinquished if you’d like to start or continue fostering.

Banned dog breeds include Pit Bull Terriers, Japanese Tosas, Dogo Argentinos, Fila Brasileiros and American XL Bullys.

If you have three or more dogs, due to their natural pack instinct, you’ll need to answer some additional questions, and sometimes we require an assessment from a dog behavioural specialist.

5 Benefits of Dogs on Foster Families

There is nothing like the warm welcome of your dog after a long day; they are always excited to see you and can’t wait to greet you with doe-eyes and a wagging tail.  But what are the benefits of having dogs on children and adults in foster homes?

Dogs help children settle into their new home

Children in care can suffer from attachment difficulties if they’ve had many placement moves. The upheaval can prevent them from trusting adults and can make it difficult for them to settle into their new home.

Having a dog, however, can help children with this transition, providing comfort and helping them to form attachments with the whole family. Dogs offer unconditional love and a listening ear so children can talk to them with the assurance that their thoughts, fears and dreams are safe in the dog’s paws.

Dogs help foster families build connections

At Fostering People, we understand the importance of community and having networks of local support you can rely on.

Having a dog gives you more opportunities to connect with like-minded foster families. Dogs love nature and socialising, offering you an excuse to organise dog walking dates so you can bond with other dog lovers. Dogs can also be fantastic conversation starters for children in care, giving them something to discuss and helping them make friends, which will build their self-esteem and confidence.

Dogs can help children regulate their emotions

When children are angry, sad, anxious or scared, interacting with the family dog can help them regulate their emotions. Dogs can be soothing in emotionally charged situations, sharing their calm with children and helping them clear their minds and collect their thoughts.

Stroking, playing or cuddling a dog can lower cortisol, a stress hormone and increase oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of happiness. Dogs also encourage children to get fresh air and exercise, which helps them release pent-up tension and feel more tranquil.

Therapy dogs can help children with trauma

Children in foster care often have trauma from challenging childhood experiences and may need therapy to recover. Animal-assisted therapy is an effective way of helping children work through their trauma.

During each session, children will interact with an animal whilst working through their thoughts, feelings and emotions with a therapist. If the therapy animal is a dog, children may walk, groom and play with them, assisting the therapist’s understanding of how they form relationships and attachments. The distraction of a pet can also make children feel more at ease when sharing their life experiences.

Dogs can support a healthy routine

When you have a dog, routine is vital for caring for their needs and ensuring you have time to take them for walks and stimulate their senses with play. Routine is also fundamental to children in care, especially if they have had their routine disrupted by moving homes. For children in foster homes, predictable routines can provide a sense of normality, alleviating anxiety because they know what to expect.

Dogs can help you build a healthy routine where children have some responsibility over walking, feeding and grooming the dog. Not only will this routine encourage them to exercise and help them learn about responsibility, but it will enhance their self-esteem because it shows that you trust them to take care of another family member.

Matching Foster Children and Dogs

Although children and dogs make fabulous companions, sometimes children may be afraid of dogs or have allergies that make living together unsuitable. But at Fostering People, our priority is to match children with the right foster family so everyone feels safe and comfortable with a platform for growth.

During the matching process, we always share information with the local authority about any pets you have and will never place a child in a home with pets they are scared of or allergic to.

Tips for introducing children to dogs

When you foster a child and have a dog, it is vital to consider how you will introduce them to each other. Here are our tips:

  • Introduce your dog to your child in a calm environment with an exit available for your dog if they feel uncomfortable.
  • You can encourage your child to offer treats to your dog, but don’t force interactions; they’ll bond in their own time.
  • Ensure the supervision of your child when they are around your dog, monitoring their interactions for the safety of both parties.
  • Discourage your child from disturbing your dog whilst they are eating or drinking.
  • Don’t forget to photograph the special moment of their first meeting.

If you foster and don’t have a dog but are considering adding one to your family, you must talk to your supervising social worker first.

At Fostering People, we offer diverse placement types, including short-term, respite, emergency, long-term fostering and more. So, if you would like to take that first step to becoming a foster parent, get in touch with us via the form on this page or give us a call at 0800 098 4149.

How to get the most out of gaming

Why gaming is a great hobby

In the UK, 83% of children and young people love to play video games. Gaming is a great hobby—not only is it fun, it can have tons of benefits, like:

  • Helping you de-stress after school
  • It’s a great way to spend time with friends when you can’t be together
  • Gaming helps you practice skills like decision-making, problem-solving and teamwork
  • Games are great ways to express yourself creatively
  • Gaming lets you experience challenging emotions, like frustration and anger, in a healthy and safe way

Because games challenge us and push us to achieve, they can also help you to build resilience, which means your drive to keep trying something difficult until you succeed. That feeling of achieving a goal after trying really hard, like the feeling you get when you beat a final boss, can be amazing!

Talking to adults about gaming

Gaming is for everyone, no matter your gender or your age— in fact, 50% of adults in the UK love gaming, too. Lots of adults have negative opinions of gaming, but they even be gamers themselves without knowing it if they enjoy mobile app games like Candy Crush!

Sometimes it can feel like adults just don’t understand what makes gaming special and important to you. It can be especially hard if they are from a generation who didn’t grow up playing video games. It’s often not helped by messages in the newspapers and on TV warning that video games can be unhealthy.

While there can be negative effects if we spend too much time on consoles, it’s important that your foster parents have a balanced view of gaming and respect and celebrate your hobbies and interests. Here are three tips to help your foster parents understand your love for gaming.

  1. Tell them what you love about gaming. Tell your foster parents the benefits of gaming and why gaming is important to you. For example, you could tell them how gaming is the perfect way to relax after school with your friends, or how you love the sense of achievement you get when you win a match with your team.
  2. Play a game together. This can be a great way to have fun together, and your foster parent will feel special knowing that you want to share something with them. Ask them to play one of your favourite couch co-op games, show them an exciting build you’ve been working on or invite them to watch you play a match on your favourite game. Playing together can also help to put their mind at ease about the content of your favourite games.
  3. Respect boundaries. If you have certain restrictions in place around gaming, then they are there for a reason, and that reason is to keep you safe. The restrictions your foster parents set out may seem unfair or stupid, but it’s important to follow them and understand why they’re there. Following these helps build trust and makes sure that you’ll always have a fun and safe gaming experience.

Staying safe while having fun

Here are some common rules which lots of families follow to keep gaming safe, and why they’re important.

Rules you might have at home

Reasons why it’s important to follow them 

You can only play games that are recommended for kids your age, or your foster parent uses parental controls which limit what you can do in the game.

This can be really hard if you were allowed to play these games before, or if all of your friends are allowed to play games that are 16+ or 18+. You might feel embarrassed or as though you’re being treated like a little kid. However, these ratings help keep you safe because they make sure that you aren’t seeing things which could frighten or upset you. 

 

You can only play on the console for a certain amount of time. 

You may have heard the phrase ‘having too much of a good thing.’ Gaming is super fun, but if you spend too much time playing you might lose out on the really important things, like keeping fit and healthy, getting enough sleep and spending time with people you care about. Playing too much could also mean that you miss out on important tasks, like doing your homework or getting to school on time, which can get you in trouble.

You can’t play online with strangers, and can only play with people you know in real life. 

This rule is one of the most important, as it makes sure that you don’t come into contact with online bullies or anyone else who might be dangerous. People aren’t always who they say they are online, so it’s important to only play with people who you know and trust. You should never talk to strangers or share details about your life online like your full name, where you live or where you go to school.

When to take a break

Gaming can be amazing fun and has so many benefits, but it’s important to be balanced and make time for other hobbies like playing sports or getting crafty. It can be hard to take a break all on your own, so it’s okay to ask for help. Talk to your foster parent or another trusted adult if:

  • You find it hard to put down the controller and do other important tasks, like homework, eating, showering or going to school
  • You are experiencing changes in your body like sore eyes, headaches, tiredness or pains and swelling in your wrist
  • You feel angry or upset during your game or after you finish playing
  • You’re missing out on other hobbies you enjoy to stay home and game
  • You’re not having fun playing, but you feel like you can’t stop
  • You feel like you have to keep something about your gaming a secret, like who you’re playing with, how late you’re staying up or what games you’re playing
  • You’re worried about how much money you’re spending on in-game purchases, like loot boxes, season passes and skins, or you feel like you can’t stop spending

Did you know?

If someone online ever makes you uncomfortable, you should talk to a trusted adult and reach out to CEOP. CEOP is an organisation which protects children and young people from online abuse. Their website also has tons of games and great information to help you stay safe online, and you can talk to one of their friendly team if you need help.

[Click here if you want to talk with CEOP]

Most importantly—have fun!

We hope that these tips will help you to have fun, stay safe and get the most out of your gaming experience. Ready to learn more? Check out our tips on how to stay safe online.

The Unique Role of Foster Dads in the World of Foster Care

The Significant Role of Foster Dads

Foster dads work hard to help children and young people achieve extraordinary things. The role of ‘foster dad’ is so varied that it means they wear many hats:

  • They look after children and young people’s emotional well-being by accepting, respecting and offering a safe place to share their emotions. They connect with them, giving them autonomy and help them feel significant.
  • They help children and young people work through their trauma by offering a safe and nurturing environment for them to flourish, alongside employing therapeutic strategies such as PACE. PACE stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy, a technique that helps foster parents build trust with the child in their care.
  • They apply the knowledge they have gained in training, understanding that big emotions and challenging behaviour are strategies children and young people have developed to survive adverse childhood experiences.
  • They advocate for children and young peoples’ education, helping them achieve their dreams.
  • They teach children and young people new skills, like cooking and riding a bike and life skills, such as problem-solving, communication and empathy.
  • They nurture children and young people’s self-esteem, encouraging them to participate in local activities to build friendships and try new things.
  • They talk to other foster parents, creating a network of like-minded people to share knowledge, experience and wisdom with to help improve their skills.
  • They are positive male role models, modelling healthy behaviour and attitudes.

Foster Dads are Positive Male Role Models

Foster dads have the unique privilege of becoming male role models for the children and young people in their care. Care-experienced children and young people may not have encountered a positive male influence, which could lead to confusion about how to act, treat others and express themselves.

Male Role Models and Toxic Masculinity

YoungMinds describes toxic masculinity as ‘the negative aspects of exaggerated masculine traits’. It can include beliefs, such as men should not show their emotions or that men and women have gendered roles. It can lead to controlling, dominating and violent behaviour and impacts men seeking help in crisis. Toxic masculinity is harmful to children and young people and can be present on social media, at school and in the home. So, having a positive male role model, like a foster dad, who doesn’t display these traits can have a significant impact.

Foster dads challenge toxic masculinity because they nurture children, show empathy, are open communicators, and can resolve conflict before it escalates. Foster dads aren’t perfect; they are only human, but they can show children and young people a healthy version of masculinity.

The Challenges and Rewards of Being a Foster Dad

Foster parenting brings with it a unique set of challenges, from big emotions to challenges with children and young people’s education. Foster dads are on the frontline; they are there through all the ups and downs of life. But what can be more rewarding than helping a child or young person recover from their trauma, overcome adversity and accomplish extraordinary things?

Steve, a foster dad, explains, ‘We have dealt with many varying issues, from lack of routines or boundaries, very few possessions to parental let downs, depression and self-harming…but to watch them come through stronger and their personalities shine brighter, whilst seeing how happy they have become, makes it all worth it.’

Read Steve’s story

Ian, another foster dad, says, “Fostering has fulfilled more than I could have ever expected and wished for.” He recalls his first Father’s Day as a foster dad when the children in his care gave him a Father’s Day card and how “It was an amazing feeling”.

Read Ian’s story

How Fostering People Support Foster Dads

At Fostering People, we understand the daily challenges faced by foster dads. Whether fostering with a partner or as a single foster dad, we are here to guide and support foster parents on their fostering journey.

  • We are community-centred, with all our social workers living and working from home inside the communities of the regions we serve. They are close at hand and know the local area well.
  • We ensure our foster parents never feel alone, so we are contactable 24/7 via our helpline.
  • All our foster parents have access to our network of highly qualified professionals, such as therapists, educational leads and other professionals who specialise in diverse areas of fostering.
  • We organise support groups in local community venues, allowing foster parents to meet each other, share experiences and become a collaborative community.
  • Each area provides foster parents with a full calendar of events for the whole family.
  • We offer ongoing professional development and extensive foster care training to all our foster parents in local community venues and online.

Addressing Father’s Day Sensitively

Father’s Day can be a sensitive topic for children and young people living with foster parents, so it is vital to be mindful when managing Father’s Day with foster children and planning celebrations. Here are our tips to help you address Father’s Day sensitively:

  • Communicate – Talk to the child or young person in your care about Father’s Day. Ask them if they would like to celebrate in any particular way or not celebrate at all.
  • Listen – verbally and non-verbally to what they are trying to tell you. They may express feelings about Father’s Day openly or communicate in other ways. They may show big emotions about unrelated things as they try to process deeper-rooted feelings about their birth family. They may isolate themselves so they can avoid confronting Father’s Day.
  • Understand – big emotions or disinterest in Father’s Day aren’t about you. They may feel loyalty towards their birth dad, and this could make them feel uncomfortable about recognising the day at all.
  • Offer your support – on special days such as Father’s Day, the child or young person may need more support. If they are struggling with feelings about the day, you could try and take their mind off it by doing something with them that they enjoy, like watching their favourite TV show or cooking a meal together.
  • If you have birth children – Ensure the child or young person doesn’t feel excluded and talk to your birth children to help them understand why this day could be difficult for them.
  • Talk to other foster dads – they may have had similar experiences and could help you with strategies to approach the day sensitively.
  • If your foster child would like to celebrate, then celebrate! You could go on a day trip or do a foster dad and child activity to help build your connection.

There is no right way to celebrate Father’s Day; by supporting and communicating with the child in your care, you can customise the day to suit your family.

If you are considering becoming a foster parent and want to learn more about fostering, enquire today!

The Role of Foster Parents in Promoting Sibling Mental Health

The Unique Power of Sibling Bonds

Growing up with siblings can be a wonderful experience. In spite of the natural squabbles and arguments which happen as siblings grow up together, the bond which brothers and sisters share is like no other. There are many mental health benefits when sibling groups are able to stay together while in foster care. Most children adjust to their new living arrangements more easily when their loved ones are close by and they know that they are safe. Siblings in foster care can lean on one another for strength and support during what is oftentimes a difficult time.

If children are able to stay together, they can continue to share experiences with one another and build strong bonds throughout their childhood. Studies have shown that maintaining strong sibling bonds into adulthood can lead to better mental health outcomes throughout a person’s life. Here at Fostering People, we do our best to keep fostered siblings together wherever possible.

The impact of sibling separation

Whether living together or apart, being able to spend time with their siblings is very important to most foster experienced children. Sadly, it is extremely common for siblings to be separated when they enter the fostering service. Unfortunately, almost 40% of children in foster care in the UK are separated from their siblings while in foster care, mostly due to a lack of fostering families who are able to welcome two or more children into their homes.

Separation can be traumatic, and it particularly effects large sibling groups and older children who may be living in supported accommodation rather than with a fostering family. Siblings who are unable to stay together are less likely to settle into their new home and are more likely to act out their frustrations through adverse behaviours. Separated siblings may also find that their relationship suffers long term damage. Children who are separated may be left feeling like strangers to one another.

Supporting the mental health of siblings who live together

One of the most rewarding things you can do in your role as a foster parent is to provide a loving home for a sibling group. Let’s explore some ways in which you can best support the mental health needs of all of the children in your care.

Establish boundaries.

When a pair or group of siblings first comes to live with you, you may find that they seem to be inseparable. While closeness between siblings is a wonderful thing, some children who have lived through adverse childhood experiences may develop trauma bonds with one another. These can manifest in many ways, such as impacting a child’s ability to concentrate and maintain healthy relationships. Often looked after siblings have only ever had one another to rely upon, and may become distressed when expected to do things separately which they are not used to, such as sleeping in different beds. You may find that their emotions seem entangled, and that if one sibling becomes upset, so does the other.

It’s important that clear boundaries are put in place so that children are able to recognise their own individuality and autonomy. You can help siblings who seem overly reliant upon one another by gradually increasing the amount of time they spend apart. You can also help by helping them to learn more about themselves as individuals by encouraging them to try out new interests and hobbies of their own. Spend time with each of your foster children to get to know their unique qualities, and encourage them to pursue their passions and celebrate their individuality.

It is also important that foster carers don’t just assume that each fostered sibling has the same memories and feelings about their life before coming to live with you, or that they need the same kind of support for what they’ve experienced. Some children may have fond memories of home, whereas their siblings may have had a very different experience. Even children who have experienced the same adverse childhood experience can react to these events in very different ways. You can find more information on how to help children effected by trauma here.

Take the lead.

Parentification is a psychological term which describes the impact on a child when they are expected to take on the role of a caregiver. Some children may have come from a home where they were expected to behave like an adult, parenting their siblings and perhaps take care of household duties such as cleaning and cooking. Sibling-focused parentification is especially common among elder siblings, though even younger children can find themselves taking on a parental role.

Because of the nurturing role they have played in their younger sibling’s lives, many older children are extremely protective of their siblings and struggle to trust that their new foster parent knows what’s best for them. They may be very insistent upon their own independence and may be defensive if you attempt to discipline their siblings. It can take time and patience for the young person in your care to learn how to be a child again. You can help them by commending their devotion and love for their siblings, while establishing boundaries around who serves what role in your fostering family. Teach your foster child through consistent and fair parenting that they can rely on you to be the parental figure whose care and attention they and their siblings need.

By being informed of the dynamics which may arise when fostering sibling groups, you’ll be in the best position to help the children in your care to have a safe and healthy future. If you feel that your foster children need additional support with any aspect of their mental health, get in touch with your social worker here at Fostering People. We offer special therapeutic training to our foster parents.

Supporting the mental health of siblings who live apart

Children who are unable to stay with their siblings may deal with difficult emotions including loneliness, anxiety and resentment. Let’s look at some ways in which you can help support the mental health of your foster child if they are unable to live in the same home as their siblings.

Support contact between siblings.

One of the best ways in which you can look out for your foster child’s mental health is by doing all that you can to ensure that they are able to spend quality time with their brothers and sisters, even if they live in separate homes. Each child must have a contact plan which is tailored to their needs and regularly reviewed, and it is the responsibility of everyone involved in a sibling group’s care to ensure that they are able to maintain good contact with one another wherever possible.

Arranging for siblings to be able to get together and enjoy the family time they need can be a challenge. Perhaps your foster child’s siblings live a distance away, meaning that time spent together as a family is less frequent. Your foster child may also come from a large family with some siblings living at home and others living with different foster families, making it difficult for everyone to match up their schedules for a meet-up.

Being flexible in your schedule and building strong working relationships with the siblings’ foster parents can make a huge difference in your ability to provide your foster children with good-quality family time. Here at Fostering People we hold regular family events throughout the year which include days out to theme parks, picnics and a whole host of other activities. These are a great way of getting everyone together.

In some circumstances, it’s decided after careful consideration that it is not in the best interests of fostered siblings to live in the same house. This might be for reasons such as if one child has complex care needs, or if one sibling poses a risk to another. In these instances, as always, it is important to carefully follow your child’s contact plan.

On rare occasions, your foster child may decide that they no longer wish to be in contact with a sibling. If they express this need, talk with your supervising social worker to review your contact plan and find the best solution for everyone involved.

Bridge the gap between visits.

Being separated from siblings can be damaging to a child’s sense of belonging and may have an adverse effect on their mental health. Not being able to be with a loved one and not knowing if they are happy or safe can be extremely distressing. Elder children in particular can become very frustrated, as they often see it as their responsibility to care for their younger siblings.

You may find that your foster child’s mood is negatively impacted after a visit, when the reminder of their separation from their sibling is at its most raw. Encourage your foster child to talk with you about their feelings. You can help to ease your foster child’s anxiety around separation outside of visits by making their siblings a daily part of their life, even when they can’t physically be with them. You might suggest making gifts to share with their siblings on their next visit, such as a card or art project. Phone calls and video calls can be a great way to keep in touch, and there are other methods of keeping up contact such as playing online video games together. Talk with your social worker about whether these methods might be suitable.

Looking after the mental health of young people is one of the many important roles and responsibilities of foster parents. By paying special attention to nurturing the relationship between your foster child and their siblings, you can help them to build and maintain an irreplaceable relationship which can last a lifetime and whether any storm.

If you feel that you are in a position to be able to provide a loving environment for more than one child, the team here at Fostering People would love to talk to you about the ways in which you could help keep siblings together by providing them with a loving home. You can learn more about the role of a foster parent here.

Is It Time to Transfer to a Different Fostering Provider?

We explore when you know it’s time to transfer to a new provider.

When it comes to continuing your fostering journey, often staying with the provider you started with feels like the right choice. After all, you know how they work, and what’s more, they know you and your family. However, this isn’t always the best-case scenario. Changing what (and who) you know may seem daunting, but it could be the right thing to do.

We understand that this step can be challenging and difficult, but in the following blog, we explore the key signs it’s time to switch providers and the benefits you will enjoy after doing so.

The Importance of Choosing the Right Provider

The role of an independent fostering provider is to work alongside the local authority in your area to provide loving, safe, and supportive homes for children. When a local authority cannot place a child, having an independent provider on hand is crucial to ensure a child receives only the best care. At Fostering People, we work with local authorities from Buckinghamshire to Aberdeen, so whether you are located in scenic Yorkshire, glorious Glasgow, or bracing Teeside, our team innately knows how to get the best home for every child.

Ultimately, the provider you choose is critical to building your family. Choose one that doesn’t work for you and run the risk of not achieving the best for your family and foster child. Choose one who doesn’t see where or how you might make the most impact, and you run the risk of not helping a child who needs your skills the most.

By joining an independent fostering provider family like ours, you will enjoy an array of benefits, all while knowing you’re making a difference to a child’s future.

Signs that It Might Be Time for a Change

So, how do you know when it’s time to move from one provider to the next? There are a number of signs, but the following three are ones you should really pay attention to:

  • You lack a strong support network: Support is everything when building your fostering experience. You won’t know everything instantly, and you will face situations you are unsure how to deal with effectively. If your current provider leaves you to get on with it and isn’t available when you need them, it’s time to find someone who will be there. It’s time to move on to a provider who builds strong networks where everyone feels at ease and like part of a family.
  • You feel you can help in different ways: Not all fostering is made equal. Your current provider may work primarily with long-term fostering families, whereas you may feel you can help a short-term foster child more successfully. Both types of fostering are crucial, so if you think your current provider doesn’t give you the different opportunities, it’s time to switch.
  • You require more support than what your current provider can give: This often applies to financial aid with fostering. Your current provider may not have an adequate fostering allowance for your needs; you may need a higher allowance than they are offering because you hope to give a child with a disability a loving, secure home.

Benefits of Transferring Providers

Still unsure whether transferring is worth it? The following benefits are just a few that you can enjoy should you change providers to an expert agency such as ours:

  • Financial Aid: Money can be a concern for foster parents, especially if you are required to step back from a 9-to-5 lifestyle that gives a steady income. You can receive a generous allowance when you transfer to a new provider, such as us at Fostering People. This allowance can be as much as £24,300 per year for fostering one child between the ages of 5 and 10. This can be more depending on the needs of the children in your care. You can use our Financial Calculator to gain an understanding of the allowance you may receive.
  • Training: There is no limit on how much training a foster parent may need. There is such a wide range of situations that might arise and behavioural concerns that you may have that you have not dealt with previously. Transferring to a provider that offers vital training is key for moving forward on your fostering journey. Look for a fostering provider who provides training in areas such as safeguarding, mental health, emotional behaviour and wellbeing, and neurodiversity. What’s more, look for a provider that offers flexible, ongoing training available via online source and in person. Our training does all this and more!
  • Network: You should never feel alone as a foster parent. It takes a village to raise a child, and this truly relates to fostering a child. Your village should give you confidence and propel you further. Seek a fostering provider who connects you with other foster parents in your area and hosts regular meetings and events. At Fostering People, our model is based on being local, so we ensure we are in your area to be there for you and your foster child.
  • Paid Respite: No parent in the world doesn’t need a break. Taking proper, adequate breaks enables you to refresh, rejuvenate, and return even stronger for your family. Switching to a fostering provider who offers paid respite allows you to relax and unwind, even if you feel you don’t need it.
  • Quality: Not all fostering providers are equal, because of this all providers are inspected every three years by Ofsted. At Fostering People, we have been rated as Outstanding in every area in our last 4 inspections, making us one of the best independent fostering agencies in the UK.

Are You Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you’re ready to transfer to us, we’re excited to welcome you to our family! Be aware transferring can take approximately three months. All you need to do is send our team an enquiry, and one of our experts will be in touch. Every enquiry is dealt with in the strictest of confidence, so you don’t need to worry about it affecting your current relationship with a provider.

Connecting with others – How to improve your mental health

As we continue our Wellbeing series, this month we move on to the next pillar in the series – Connect.

This week is mental health week, so it’s an ideal time for us to take stock of our own mental health and consider if we connect with others enough.

We know that connecting with others is good for our mental wellbeing, but when you foster we think it can be even more vital.  As foster parents, working at home, you don’t have the same social connections as someone going to a place of work each day.

Here are 5 reasons why it’s essential to connect with other people when you foster.

1 Social Support

Social support is crucial for our overall wellbeing.  It enables us to share our thoughts, emotions and experiences.  As the old saying goes – a problem shared, is a problem halved.  And it’s true, sharing what’s on our mind with others enables us to receive empathy and advice.  When fostering, sharing our experiences with others, especially other foster parents and social workers enables us to gain fresh prospective and hear of others experiences which can be really beneficial.

Social support has been linked to lower stress levels, improved mental health and greater resilience.

2 Sense of Belonging

At Fostering People we use the term community a lot, and that’s because a sense of belonging is so important to us all.  A community fosters social support and adds to our sense of belonging.  When we belong we feel better, are less likely to be lonely and has been linked to enhanced self-esteem and more positive outlook on life and challenges.

3 Emotional Wellbeing

When we engage in meaningful connections, we can express our emotions and get it all out, and also receive validation, which makes us feel far more positive.

Sharing our joys and sorrows with others helps us to achieve a greater sense of contentment and overall emotional balance.  By not sharing how we feel, we can dwell, especially on more negative feelings which can adversely affect our emotional wellbeing.

4 Expand Perspective

By connecting with other we also learn about other people’s experience, this can help us in our roles, but also help us to understand diverse perspective, ideas and cultures.  By expanding our perspectives we promote empathy and tolerance.

5 Physical Health Benefits

Connecting with other people can also have tangible physical health benefits. Research suggests those with stronger social bonds tend to have better cardiovascular health, lower blood pressure, stronger immune systems and longer life spans.  Social engagement often involves participation in activities together, which can lead to increased physical activity.

Over the course of this topic we’ll be sharing suggestions made by our foster parents on how to connect with others on our social channels.  But here are some ideas to get you started.

Face-to-Face Interactions

Nothing beats meeting up with friends, family or other foster parents.  Why not have a meal or a coffee with friends or family.  If you’ve been invited along to a social event and have been putting it off, think of your wellbeing and set the date.  Meeting in person, rather than over the phone or via what’s app has many benefits, not least seeing someone face to face allows for nonverbal cues and can help foster a sense of closeness.

Joining clubs or organisations

If you think your social connections could do with a little attention why not join a club, have a think about what you enjoy and find a club which will help you meet likeminded people and share your passions.  If you haven’t been to your support group in a while, pop along – you know you’ll be very welcome, or why not set up coffee mornings with foster parents local to you?  The ‘Big Sing Off’ Choir season will soon be upon us, if there is a choir near you why not get involved this year.

Using Online Platforms

Nothing beats meeting up in person, but in the digital age there are also the opportunity to develop out connections in the digital world too.  If you are not a member, find out more about your local foster parent WhatsApp group or join a local community Facebook group to put you in touch with local people, these can then lead to physical meet up over coffee too.

Attending workshops or classes

Of course there are the training courses facilitated by Fostering People as well as our support groups, but outside of fostering, developing a new skill enables you to meet up with local people with similar interests.  Whether it’s a cooking class, art workshop, photography group or a yoga class, you’ll have the opportunity to develop your connections more widely.

Support groups or counselling

Sometime we need greater connections or the help of people who can offer professional guidance.  Support groups or counselling both provide a safe space where you can share your experiences and receive guidance or connect with others who have similar struggles.  These can be helpful for people dealing with mental health issues, grief, addiction or other life transitions.

We all know that building relationships requires work and a willingness to invest time.  In our busy lives are connections are often the first casualty.  I suspect we have all been guilty of cancelling an opportunity to meet a friend because we were just too busy.  We need to remember how important these connections are to our overall health and if needed, prioritise them where we can.

Take your first step to becoming a foster parent today

If you’re interested in becoming a foster parent and would like to learn more, then we’d love to hear from you.

Simply fill in the form below and one of our friendly team will be in touch.

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How pet’s can increase a foster child’s emotional health

How pet’s can increase a foster children’s emotional health

Our pet’s are very good at understanding our emotional state. Dog’s for example can understand how we are feeling from our tone of voice and body language. Dogs and cats will look into their owners eyes, to judge our emotional state and respond to it, giving their human companions a fuss then they are feeling down.

Friendship is really important to us and improves are emotional health, it has been shown to prevent illness and add years to our lives – while isolation can lead to depression.

The covid restrictions on our lives have made us all aware of just how important this is.

When a foster child first comes to live with a new family, it can be a little overwhelming or even a bit scary for some children.  But it can also be lonely for a child coming into a brand new home with brand new people.  The friendship provided by a pet can help children to feel less lonely in new home and family and in some cases children often make attachments to the family pet before their human counterparts.  Animals also have another advantage for children, they don’t make demands and they can’t talk back!

This means all they offer is companionship without ever telling a child off or giving instructions and this can provide a great sense of security for children, it can help them to feel important because they receive unconditional affection which helps boost self esteem which is really important as a starting block for positive emotional health.

Children who have emotional attachments to pets have also been shown to find it easier to form relationships with people too.

This is useful for foster children who need to form relationships with new family members and make new friends.

For all the benefits pets may provide, there are things to consider when fostering a child.

Would you like to know more about fostering?

Find your local team.

Find out more in our series about the benefits of pets below.

How dogs can help children with autism and ADHD
How pets can reduce stress for foster children
How pets can teach children to care
Dogs and exercise
How dogs can improve immune health for children

How dogs can improve immune health for children

Dogs can helps to boost a healthy immune system

It might sound a little unnerving to know that if you live with a dog, you live with their bugs too!  After all, that’s why we encourage children to wash their hands after giving a dog fuss.  But the reality is, it doesn’t matter how clean we are, or how clean we keep our pets, when you live together you share the same microbiome, the millions of bacteria that call our bodies home.

Living with a dog means our immune systems are working to keep us safe from any harmful bacteria they may give to us, especially if your dog likes to lick, whilst also introducing us to other forms of good bacteria.

Paediatric studies have shown that children who grow up with dogs have better immune health than those who don’t.

The results of which means those with dogs fall ill less often and when they are poorly can often bounce back to health faster.

Children with dogs are less likely to suffer from asthma

Studies have also shown that children who have a birth parent that suffers from allergies or asthma have less predisposed if they have early exposure to dogs.  Even if a children’s birth parents don’t have asthma, there is general consensus that children are less likely to develop the disease.

Dogs are also good for the skin too

Some studies have shown that dogs actually protect children at risk of eczema. One study showed that children who didn’t live with dogs are 4 times more likely to develop the condition than those that do!

There are lots of benefits to living with pets, but here are a few things to consider if you have a pet and are thinking of becoming a foster parent.

Would you like to know more about fostering?

Find your local team.

Find out more in our series about the benefits of pets below.

How dogs can help children with autism and ADHD
How pets can reduce stress for foster children
How pets can teach children to care
Dogs and exercise
How dogs can improve immune health for children

Working with Tyneside Women’s Health

Starting in 2019, Fostering People have commenced partnership with Tyneside Women’s Health, a charitable organisation based in Newcastle and Gateshead. The aim of the charity is to help women and girls to improve their mental health and emotional wellbeing. Their overall vision is ‘a society that is free from mental health stigma, in which all women and girls feel included and empowered’.

About Tyneside Women’s Health

Tyneside Women’s Health work with a number of women who have direct input from children’s services, or whose children are at risk of becoming involved. Fostering People believe that it is important to support the charity with knowledge and resources that may help to prevent further involvement from these statutory services.

In May, Mark Briggs delivered CEOP Thinkuknow internet safety training to the staff team, enabling them to develop their knowledge and confidence in this field and subsequently roll this information out to service users. We are currently looking at other training opportunities and identifying areas that may be of benefit to the organisation.

If budgets allow, Tyneside Women’s Health would like to participate in the 2019 White Ribbon campaign. This commences on 25th November and lasts for sixteen days. During this time, the campaign encourages organisations and individuals to mark this period with events, presentations, and even just taking the effort to speak to family, friends and co-workers about why men must take a stand against violence towards women.

Fostering People would like to assist the charity in their campaign by making and wearing white ribbons. We also hope to join in with any events that Tyneside Women’s Health organise.

If you have a spare room and would like to know more about how to become a foster parent, please give us a call on 0800 077 8159 today.

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