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Understanding behaviour as communication

Fostering is both a challenging and extremely rewarding life path. Care-experienced children and young people have often experienced trauma in their early lives, which can lead to difficulties in regulating their emotions as well as some behaviours which can be tricky to manage. Let’s learn more about why it’s important to understand what a child is communicating through their behaviour.  

Childhood trauma

The myth of ‘naughty kids’ 

We live in a society where care-experienced people face a lot of prejudice, even as they leave care and enter adulthood. Some people mistakenly believe that children are taken into care because of their behaviour, a stereotype which particularly affects older children and teens in care.  

There’s a huge range of potential reasons why a child may enter the care system, none of which are their fault. Perhaps a child has lost a parent in death or has been removed from their home due to a parent’s reluctance to end a relationship with an abusive partner. They may also have faced neglect or abuse. We call these events Adverse Childhood Experiences, of ACE’s.  

ACE’s can have a huge impact on every aspect of a person’s life, including their development, behaviour and health outcomes in later life. That’s why children in care need a trauma-informed approach to parenting, which emphasises unconditional love, empathy and healing, to give them the best life outcomes possible.  

 

Now that we’ve busted some myths, let’s check out the facts… 

 

Childhood trauma impacts brain development.  

When a child is exposed to traumatic circumstances, it can impact the way their brain develops and affect the rate at which they hit normal milestones. When the brain has been in a constant state of high alertness to cope with threat, in a constant state of fight of flight, it dampens a child’s ability to develop higher skills such as regulating their emotions and being able to make safe decisions.  

Many behaviours which foster parents find concerning, such as a child withdrawing or becoming violent, are actually survival strategies which can develop during times of stress. These strategies were created by the brain in an attempt to keep the child safe during a time when there was nowhere to turn for comfort and safety. Even when a child is in a safe environment, like a foster home, it takes lots of therapeutic support and consistent loving care to develop healthier behaviours.   

Behaviour always communicates a need.

A great way of understanding behaviour is remembering that every behaviour can be read as a form of communication. Many of a child’s behaviours may be influenced by the trauma they live with— perhaps a child is feeling overstimulated and they need some space; perhaps something has triggered memories of a traumatic situation, and their body is responding as though they are once again under threat.  

However your foster child reacts when feeling dysregulated, they’re unlikely to have learned the ability to regulate their emotions without an adult for support. This means they’ll need you by their side in order to return to a calm, happy state. Let’s learn more about the importance of co-regulation, and how it can support children to learn to manage their own behaviour independently.  

Co-regulation strategies to practice with your foster child 

One of the biggest ways you can support a child in moments where their behaviour is challenging is by building a safe and trusting relationship with them over time. This allows them to explore, build resilience and develop healthier coping mechanisms when they’re feeling upset or unsafe. Here are 3 tips for effective co-regulation with your foster child.  

  • Regulate, relate, reason. The Sequence of Engagement, developed by Dr. Bruce Perry, teaches us the order in which to engage a child who is struggling to handle big emotions. We start with regulation, which means to help the child calm their body and nervous system first— breathing exercises such as bubble breathing or finger breathing are great for this! Relating is the next step, where we connect emotionally through active listening and empathy. Reasoning and reflection comes last, where you can discuss what happened and find ways to help prevent a child’s behaviour from escalating in the future.  
  • Engage, don’t enrage. When a child is dysregulated, it can be easy to slip into a power struggle rather than truly addressing the heart of a given issue. The ‘engage, don’t enrage’ strategy reminds us to address behaviour in a mindful way which won’t add even more stress to the child. It also reminds caregivers of the importance of treating difficult situations as you and your foster child vs the problem, rather than the two of you becoming upset with one another.  
  • Be patient. Helping your foster child to learn to regulate their emotions won’t be a linear journey, nor will it be a swift road to success. You’ll need to be patient and consistent in order to see results. By engaging with our therapeutic training, role modelling healthy behaviours and always being a pillar of support for your foster child, you can help them to begin to see the world as a safer, more nurturing place and can teach them the skills to better manage their emotions.  

Recommended resources for trauma-informed foster parents 

Ready to learn more? Check out the links below for some fantastic resources to help you better understand and manage a child’s behaviour.  

  • The UK Trauma Council have produced a fantastic animation explaining the impact of childhood trauma on the brain. It’s a fantastic resource for foster parents, showing in simple terms how trauma can make even a safe place feel scary. 
  • If you’re interested in a deeper look at how trauma impacts children, check out our guide to developmental trauma and its impact on the brain.  

Could you help change a child’s life? 

If you’ve ever thought about fostering, there’s no better time than now to get started on this life changing journey. Here at Fostering People you will benefit from the holistic support of a vast range of professionals, and you will never feel alone when challenges arise. Learn more about our support for foster parents by getting in touch with our team today.  

Understanding behaviour as communication

The Impact of Trauma on Child Brain Development

Many care-experienced children deal with the impact of trauma in their day-to-day lives. Let’s learn how trauma can influence a child’s development, and how therapeutic parenting techniques can support children to heal. 

Understanding developmental trauma

Imaging that you’re walking in the park one day when you spot a large dog. The dog isn’t on a lead, and its owner is nowhere to be seen. Its ears flatten tightly against its head as it flashes rows of sharp teeth, beginning to growl. Sensing that there’s danger, your body begins to react: your heartrate increases, you become more alert and your muscles tense. Your body releases stress hormones as it prepares to react to the threat through fight or flight. 

For children who have experienced trauma, those stress responses don’t just happen in the face of genuine danger, like an aggressive dog. Many care-experienced people live with complex developmental trauma, which means that they have been repeatedly exposed as a child to stressful circumstances. There are many circumstances which can cause a child to live with trauma, including: 

  • Being removed from their family home 
  • Facing neglect or abuse 
  • Losing a loved one in death 
  • Witnessing domestic violence 
  • Living with a parent with an unmanaged mental illness 
  • Having a family member go to prison 
  • Living though parental separation 
Understanding developmental trauma

Trauma, the body and the brain

Trauma is the long-lasting response which we can have to being exposed to something incredibly distressing. We can experience the effects of trauma at any age, but when it’s experienced in childhood, it can have a huge impact on development. Even a foetus in the womb can experience trauma if their mother is exposed to high levels of stress, such as through experiencing addiction or domestic violence. Even if a child is too young to remember traumatic experiences, their body will remember. Their negative experiences may impact how their brain develops, their behaviours and when they reach developmental milestones.  

Repeated exposure to traumatic circumstances wires the brain and the nervous system to live in a world of constant threat, where survival and safety are the only things which matter. When living in a constant state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn, the brain has less room to flourish, dampening its ability to develop higher skills like strong self-esteem, good social skills, impulse control and a child’s ability to regulate their emotions without help from adults. 

Building safety through trusting relationships

As challenging as these adaptions can be for children and those who care for them, it’s important to remember that the brain has adapted this way as a means of protecting the child. Childhood trauma is often the result of poor-quality relationships with adults, and many of the effects of trauma can be healed by building nurturing and loving connections with safe adults. 

This healing doesn’t happen magically overnight, though. When a child has learned that the world is unsafe and that the adults in their life can’t be trusted to fill their needs or protect them from harm, they cannot simply ‘switch off’ their trauma responses when living in a safe environment such as a foster home. Children who have been removed from unsafe situations may perceive everyday situations as threatening, and their behaviour may seem overly reactive to the world around them. 

Therapeutic parenting methods that work

Each child’s healing journey is a long road, and it takes a lot of patience, empathy and therapeutic guidance for children to heal and build trusting relationships with others. Thanks to the wonders of neuroplasticity— the brain’s ability to form new neural connections— there is plenty of hope for recovery and healing, and children can learn to respond to the world in a healthier way and see it as a safer place. 

Foster parents can help children to build these new neural pathways by using theraputic parenting techniques. We teach these skills in our mandatory training, where you’ll learn that many common parenting techniques, such as time-outs and the naughty step, can do more harm than good for a child who has experienced trauma. This is because these methods rely on the assumption that the child understands that their relationship with their caregiver is built on a solid foundation, which is not always the case for children in care. 

Let’s take a look at an example of how two very different children might react to the same consequence for their behaviour, and how therapeutic parenting can help to support a child who lives with trauma when challenges arise. 

 

Scenario: After hitting their sibling in order to snatch a toy, the child is told to go to their bedroom for ten minutes of time-out. 

 

Child A: Child A is living at home with their family. They have a secure attachment to their caregiver, and understand that being sent to their room is only a temporary measure. Having had a healthy environment in which to grow, where they know that they are loved and safe even when their behaviour is being addressed, this method is appropriate for teaching them that being unkind to their sibling is wrong and will lead to them missing out on fun time with the family. They are able to learn from this experience and avoid the behaviour in future, and are able to seek comfort from their caregiver in the aftermath.  

Child B: Child B has recently moved into a new foster home. When they were living back at home with their family, they faced neglect and would spend hours locked in their bedroom with no interaction or anyone to comfort them. By using alone time in their bedroom as punishment, the child is experiencing retraumaziation. They do not know how long they will be left alone and cannot trust that their foster parent will come back for them. As trauma has impacted their brain development, they haven’t yet learned to regulate their emotions alone, and thus cannot soothe themselves without their foster parent’s support. No lessons are learned; instead, their emotional state becomes more unmanaged and their relationship with their foster parent may be damaged due to feelings of insecurity and abandonment.  

An alternative approach for child B: Foster parents can help the children in their care to avoid distressing situations like these by using the ‘time in’ method instead of the ‘time out’ method. ‘Time in’ prioritises staying close with your young person during difficult moments to help them regulate their emotions in a safe way.  

Boost your skills with Fostering People

The above example looks at just one of the many different therapeutic parenting approaches which you’ll learn about when you foster with us. We run a comprehensive programme of training covering a huge range of specialist subjects, including the P.A.C.E model. You’ll also have the opportunity to pick and choose from a range of courses which are designed to broaden your understanding of the needs of your foster children. 

Therapeutic parenting may feel strange at first, particularly if you’ve brought your own children up in a more traditional way or if it seems very different to the way you were raised.  It takes time to study and master, but once you begin using therapeutic parenting techniques you’ll see just how beneficial they can be for children who have experienced trauma.  

 

Ready to learn more?  

Here at Fostering People, we’re always ready to welcome more caring and passionate individuals who see a future in caring for children. When you foster with us you’ll receive a whole range of support, including specialist advice and a generous fostering allowance.  

If you’re ready to begin the journey of a lifetime, contact our team today on 0800 077 8159 or via our quick and easy online form— we’re waiting to hear from you! 

 

Recommended reading for foster parents 

Check out some of our favourite books which discuss therapeutic parenting strategies in more detail, to help you understand the importance of a therapeutic approach for children who live with the impact of trauma. 

  • ‘Creating Loving Attachments: Parenting with P.A.C.E to Nurture Confidence and Security in the Troubled Child’ by Dr. Dan Hughes and Kim Golding 

  • ‘The Body Keeps the Score’ by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk 

  • ‘The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog’ by Bruce D. Perry and Maia Szalavitz 

  • ‘The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting: Strategies and Solutions’ by Sarah Naish 

PACE Parenting: strategies that work

Parenting and fostering are similar, but one of the main differences is the type of parenting you use to help them navigate the world. For children in care who are living with trauma, traditional parenting techniques often fall short of their needs and can sometimes make things worse.

That’s where PACE therapeutic parenting comes in. PACE is about creating a nurturing and healing environment where children feel safe enough to be themselves and are loved unconditionally, both on their good and bad days.

In this blog, we take a deeper look at PACE parenting, including what it means, why it works, and how you can use it to truly make a difference in the lives of the children you foster.

What is the PACE approach to parenting?

PACE is a therapeutic parenting approach developed by Dan Huges, a clinical psychologist who specialises in childhood trauma. He recognised that children living with the weight of adverse childhood experiences (ACES) need to be cared for in a different way, with a focus on building strong and trusting relationships.

These relationships are at the heart of helping children heal from their trauma. They give children a secure base to make sense of their experiences, understand their triggers, and find new ways to cope with their thoughts and feelings. When children know they have someone to lean on, rely on and trust, it builds the resilience and confidence they need to explore the world and look towards a more hopeful future.

PACE, which stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy, creates a supportive and nurturing environment where children feel understood, valued, and heard. As a foster parent, using PACE can help you look beyond behaviour to understand what’s really upsetting or triggering a child. You can then coach them through emotions they may not have the words for yet and help them feel safe enough to open up about what’s really going on inside.

The PACE parenting model

Here is a breakdown of the four principles of PACE and the strategies within each element that you can use to support a child. When combined, they can help you build a connection with the children in your care and diffuse tension in difficult situations.

Playfulness

Playfulness means parenting in a light-hearted way by bringing joy, humour and a little silliness into everyday moments. You probably use playfulness in some of your relationships already – maybe you’ve got a running joke with a friend or send funny videos to your partner when they’re having a tough day. These seemingly small things show that you care and provide them with the emotional safety to be themselves around you.

It’s just the same for the children you foster. When you’re relaxed and enjoying yourself in their company, it helps them feel safe enough to do the same. When you laugh or smile with them, they see that you enjoy being around them, which boosts their self-esteem while strengthening your bond.

How to use playfulness

You could see playfulness as being in touch with your inner child and finding joy in the small things around you. Here are some examples of playfulness strategies that can help you connect and manage tricky situations:

  • If it’s a rainy day, you could go outside and jump in puddles together or have a race to see who can find the biggest puddle first.
  • If you’re on a long car journey, you could make up a game or create a silly song about the trip together.
  • If your foster child struggles to name their emotions, you could turn them into characters, giving them names that are easy to remember, such as Sally the sad sausage or Alfie the angry ant. This way, when they start to feel that emotion, they may find it easier to associate it with the character you’ve created together.
  • If the child in your care doesn’t want to go to bed, you could build a fort together or make up a song about bedtime that makes it feel fun and something to look forward to.
  • You could turn chores into a challenge, such as who can rake the biggest pile of leaves or put away their clothes the fastest.

Top tip: Pick your moment carefully. If a child’s very upset, trying to laugh and joke might make them feel unheard or misunderstood. In those moments, get down to their level and gently explore their feelings instead.

Acceptance

Everyone wants to feel like they are accepted and loved unconditionally – even if a bad day means you’re a bit grumpy. It’s the same for children in care, but sadly, they may have never experienced this sort of relationship before. They may have been punished or shamed for showing their feelings and might worry that you’ll leave them if they don’t behave in a certain way.

Acceptance is about validating the way a child feels and helping them find new ways to manage their emotions. It means separating a child from their behaviour and letting them know that although you may not like what they’ve done, you’ll always love and care about them.

How to show acceptance

When emotions are running high, it can be challenging to separate a child from their actions, but this is key to helping them feel safe and secure. They need to know that their behaviour won’t change the way you feel about them. You can show them this by:

  • Slowing down the conversation and giving them enough time to respond to your questions about what happened.
  • Staying calm and using a soft tone while getting down to their level when they’re upset.
  • Offering them a hug if they’re comfortable with it or sitting nearby so they know you still want to be around them.
  • Acknowledging their feelings without judgement by saying things like, ‘You seem really upset, and that’s okay. Let’s talk about what’s made you feel this way.’
  • Reassuring them that it’s normal to have tricky feelings sometimes. For example, if they’ve had an argument at school, you could say, ‘That must have been frustrating. I get frustrated sometimes too.’
  • Validating their emotions while helping them find a new way to cope in the future. For example, if they hit someone at school because they took their pen, you could say, ‘I can see why you’re upset – it doesn’t feel very nice when people take your things. But hitting isn’t okay. Let’s think about what you could do the next time you feel like this. Maybe you could take a few deep breaths or tell a teacher. If it happens at home, we could go outside and stomp around until you feel calmer.’

Top tip: Acceptance isn’t about ignoring challenging behaviour. It’s about letting a child know that you won’t reject or abandon them when they’re having a bad day. Instead, you’ll stay by their side and help them find healthier ways to manage their emotions.

Curiosity

When you’re experiencing intense emotions but still have to get on with daily life, no matter how hard you try, it’s likely that your body language, tone of voice, and behaviour will show the people closest to you how you’re really feeling.

It’s the same for children in your care. Behaviour is a form of communication, especially for children living with trauma who don’t yet feel safe enough to share their thoughts and feelings or simply can’t find the words for their emotions.

To understand what they’re trying to tell you, you need to be curious. Curiosity is about pausing and wondering why they’re acting in a certain way without jumping to conclusions.

When you show curiosity about how a child is feeling, it helps them feel valued, heard, and understood because you’re taking the time to see the world through their eyes.

How to be curious

When a child doesn’t feel able to open up about what’s happened to them or how they’re feeling, it can be frustrating because all you want to do is help. But with a bit of observation and curiosity, you’ll start to notice patterns and begin to understand a child’s triggers.

Here are a few ways to show curiosity:

  • If your foster child struggles to answer direct questions, take the pressure off the conversation by wondering aloud instead. For example, if they took something out of another child’s lunchbox, you could say, ‘I wonder if you took that sandwich because you’re worried about not having enough food. We always have food available, so if you feel hungry, just let me know.’
  • If you notice something about their behaviour and want to ask them about it, you could say, ‘I noticed you seem a bit upset today. I wonder if something happened to make you feel this way?’
  • If you spot a pattern or trigger, gently wonder about it with them. For example, ‘I’ve noticed that you often feel a bit overwhelmed when we go to the supermarket. Maybe it’s a bit loud and busy in there for you.’
  • Be curious about your own emotions to help them make the connection between feelings and behaviour. You might say, ‘I feel a bit grumpy today – maybe it’s because I didn’t get enough sleep.’
  • If they don’t want to talk, let them know that you’ll offer a listening ear when they’re ready.

Top tip: Curiosity is about gently decoding a child’s behaviour so you can better support them. It’s not a quick-fix solution – it takes time, trust and patience to build a clear picture of what’s really going on.

Empathy

Sometimes life is hard, but when someone shows us that they ‘get it’, it brings comfort, helps us feel less alone and connects us to those around us.

Empathy is all about seeing things through your child’s eyes and showing them that you understand where they’re coming from. It means holding their hand when they struggle to cope with their trauma and working through their emotions together.

How to show empathy

When a child sees that you understand and accept their feelings, it can help them feel less alone and more able to open up about their inner world. As a foster parent, empathy probably comes naturally to you already, but here are a few tips that can help:

  • Listen, not just with your ears, but with open body language, eye contact and without distractions. Let them have the floor, and when you speak, try not to take over the conversation.
  • Help them name their feelings by saying them out loud or using visual aids, such as emotion worksheets or toys.
  • Try to match their energy. For example, if they seem low, use a soft tone rather than a cheerful one.
  • Help them feel safe by sitting next to them or offering them an item that brings them comfort, like their favourite toy or blanket.
  • Be honest about your emotions so your child knows they’re not alone in their feelings. For example, if a child is nervous about starting school, you might say, ‘I get nervous too sometimes.’

Top tip: Showing empathy doesn’t mean trying to fix the way a child feels – it’s about consistently being there for them through their struggles. Knowing they can talk to you about their feelings helps build trust, confidence, and the resilience they need to face life’s challenges.

PACE training for parents

When you join Fostering People, you become part of a community that truly understands the impact of adverse childhood experiences on the long-term outcomes for children in care.

That’s why, as part of your foster parent training, we’ll teach you how to put PACE model parenting into practice. You’ll also learn about the effects of trauma on child brain development, behaviour, attachment, and more so you know how to fully support children in your care.

We’ll be by your side, providing you with 24/7 support. From our dedicated professional teams and regular supervision to our support groups and activities for the whole family, you’ll never feel alone on your fostering journey.

So, if you’re ready to change a child’s life by providing therapeutic foster care, we’d love to hear from you! Call us on 0800 077 8159 or submit an online enquiry form, and one of our experienced team will contact you.

Why Therapeutic Fostering Matters

Foster partent showing Therapeutic Fostering

Many children in care have experienced adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). These experiences often leave a deep imprint that affects the way they see the world and cope with daily life; this is called trauma.

Therapeutic foster parents provide the guidance, empathy, and understanding that children and young people need to recover from their trauma. Join us as we explore therapeutic foster care in more detail. Find out what it means, how it’s applied, and the transformative effect it can have on children and young people in care.

What is therapeutic foster care?

At Fostering People, many children in our care have endured abuse, neglect, or other challenging experiences in their early lives.

When children move into a safe, stable and nurturing foster home, these experiences don’t just disappear from their memories. They stay with them, affecting their emotions, behaviour, relationships, and development. Trauma can also have a lifelong impact on their physical and mental well-being, influencing the way they navigate the world now and in adulthood.

Understanding trauma

When foster parents don’t understand trauma and the impact it has on every aspect of a child’s life, they may find a child’s behaviour confusing and overlook the root cause. As a result, these children won’t receive the guidance, understanding, and sense of emotional safety they need to heal.

That’s why therapeutic foster care is so important. It doesn’t stick a plaster on trauma – it addresses the challenges faced by children and young people in care and guides them on their healing journey.

Therapeutic foster parents provide nurturing homes of compassion and understanding, collaborating with trauma-informed fostering professionals to ensure their child’s entire well-being is cared for.

By providing this foundation of therapeutic support, we help children recover from their experiences, build positive relationships, manage their emotions, and begin to rebuild their lives.

What is a therapeutic approach?

Therapeutic foster parents are trauma-informed, recognising the impact trauma can have on a child’s behaviour, relationships, emotions, and development. When you foster with Fostering People, you’ll apply a therapeutic parenting approach, which includes:

Building a secure relationship

An essential part of a therapeutic approach to fostering is building a secure relationship with the child in your care. Children in care have often been let down by those they’ve trusted most, making it difficult for them to trust adults or believe that anyone has their best interests at heart.

Trust is at the core of every secure relationship. So, the child in your care needs to know that you’ll consistently show up for them and do what you say you’ll do. It also means providing them with a safe space to share their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or retribution, helping them to feel valued and heard.

Looking beyond behaviour

Another key feature of therapeutic fostering is viewing behaviour as a form of communication. Many children in care struggle to articulate their thoughts and feelings, so their behaviour becomes a window into their inner world and past experiences instead.

During prolonged abuse and neglect, children often develop coping mechanisms to survive painful experiences. Trauma can also physically alter the brain as it adapts to survive in a threatening environment. This changes the way they behave and interact with other people.

When children move into care, they may continue to use these survival behaviours without even realising it because they’ve become so deep-rooted.

What is their behaviour telling me?

An example of a survival mechanism children may use is hypervigilance. Hypervigilant children are always on high alert, scanning their surroundings and absorbing sensory information to check for danger.

Although this may have helped them stay safe in the past, it can make day-to-day life difficult for them when they move into care. They may become overstimulated in particular environments, such as school, and interpret ordinary interactions as a potential threat. This can trigger their fight-or-flight response, affecting their behaviour as they react to the perceived danger.

At Fostering People, we teach you to look at behaviour through a therapeutic lens. By paying attention and looking for patterns in a child’s behaviour, you gain a deeper understanding of their triggers. You can then support them in developing new ways of responding now they’re in a safe, stable, and nurturing home.

Always learning and adapting

A therapeutic approach to fostering isn’t a quick-fix solution. Foster parents who use this approach are on a continuous learning journey, adapting to the child or young person’s ever-changing needs.

At Fostering People, we make accessing therapeutic foster care training easy, offering a wide range of virtual and face-to-face training courses. When you join us, you’ll learn more about attachment theory and therapeutic parenting, and as time goes on, you’ll be able to access training specific to the needs of the child in your care.

All our foster parents receive training on PACE parenting, a therapeutic approach that stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy. PACE teaches you how to therapeutically interact with the child in your care, helping them build a positive attachment with you. By consistently using the principles of PACE, you can support children in learning new, healthier ways of coping with distressing thoughts and emotions.

Working with other fostering professionals

Part of a therapeutic approach to fostering is recognising when you need support. Sometimes, children in foster care need therapeutic intervention, and when fostering teenagers, you may need help to support them through this turbulent time in their lives.

Therapeutic fostering is a team effort, and at Fostering People, our support for foster parents and children means you are never alone. From regular meetings with your supervising social worker to dedicated support groups for new foster parents, our close-knit, supportive community will help you feel at home.

We’re here for you 24/7, and you’ll collaborate with our professional teams to help the child in your care thrive. We also organise local activities and events for the whole family to enjoy, giving every family member the opportunity to relax, make friends, and have fun.

Improving the outcomes of children in care

Children in care need more than just physical safety. They need adults to build them up and to show them that their past doesn’t have to dictate their future. They need to experience positive relationships that help them trust again and show them that the world isn’t as scary as they may have once thought.

Therapeutic foster parents play a vital role in this process. By providing children with a sense of belonging, stability, and a space to heal and grow, they help pave the way for brighter, happier, and more fulfilling futures for children in care.

 

Want to learn more about becoming a therapeutic foster parent? Call us on 0800 077 8159 or fill in our online enquiry form and a member of our friendly team will be in touch.

Can I Foster if my Child has Additional Needs

If you have a child with additional needs, such as complex physical or mental health needs or a neurological disorder like Autism or ADHD, you may be wondering what it would be like to foster as a family.

Many people choose to foster alongside raising their own children, but things can be a little more complicated if your own child has additional needs. Read on to help you decide if fostering is right for your family at this time.

Is my child ready to foster?

Fostering is a huge decision, and it becomes even bigger when you have your own children to think about. The answer as to whether you’ll be able to foster while caring for your own child isn’t as simple as a blanket ‘yes’ or ‘no’— instead, the answer will depend entirely upon your family’s unique needs.

Every child with additional needs is different, and only you will know your child best. In your role as a foster parent, you must be able to fully meet the needs of both your own children and your foster children. When you get in touch with us, our team will work with you to help you decide if you’re ready to welcome another child into your home.

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COULD I FOSTER?

Things to consider…

When deciding whether or not fostering is right for you, ask yourself…

  • Can I accommodate all of my child’s needs while fostering?
  • Can I accommodate all of my foster child’s needs while fostering?
  • Can I foster while still taking good care of my physical, mental and emotional health?

Let’s take a look at each of these considerations in a bit more detail.

  1. The needs of your child

Fostering will have an impact on your entire household, and it’s important that it’s the right choice for every member of your family. Your first responsibility will always be to the children already living in your home, which is why you need to carefully consider your child’s needs before deciding to foster.

Living with a foster sibling comes with amazing benefits such as providing children with companionship and helping them to build empathy skills, but it also comes with its challenges. These can include:

  • Adjusting to the change of having a new sibling
  • Struggles with sibling jealousy
  • Learning to share their space, belongings and their time with you
  • Mimicking their foster sibling’s behaviours
  • Dealing with loss if their sibling returns home to their family or moves on

Not all children with additional needs will be able to thrive while their family fosters, and that is perfectly okay. Carefully consider your child’s needs and, if possible, involve them in the decision. Learn more about how fostering might impact your own children.

  1. The needs of the children you’ll foster

It is equally as important to carefully consider the needs of the children you’ll be welcoming into your home. Many children who need foster homes will have experienced multiple challenges in their young lives, such as being separated from their loved ones or facing neglect or abuse. These experiences, known as Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACE’s, may lead to trauma.

Children who live with the effects of trauma will need more support, time and attention than is usual in order to thrive. As a foster parent, you will need to balance meeting the needs of your foster child with your own child’s needs in order to create a safe and harmonious home environment for everyone. We’ll support you in this, and you’ll receive specialist training on how to provide therapeutic fostering to the children you care for.

  1. Your personal needs and strengths

Fostering is a wholly selfless act, but in order to give the best to the children in your care you’ll need to pay close attention to your own needs, too. To foster successfully without spreading yourself too thin, you’ll need to be honest with yourself and your family about what you can handle and what challenges fostering might bring. Ask yourself:

  • How will fostering while caring for my own child’s support needs impact my physical and mental wellbeing, and that of my family members?
  • Do I have a great support system who I can rely on? (Including family members, friends, or a partner)
  • Will I have enough time and energy to give my all to the children in my home? (Remember: on top of your usual responsibilities with your own child, you’ll need to fulfil regular commitments with your foster child, including attending meetings and appointments, getting them to school and taking them to visit their birth family.)

The types of foster care which you’re interested in offering will also influence how successful you’ll be in balancing fostering while caring for a child with additional needs. For example, if your neurodiverse child struggles with changes in their routine, emergency fostering, where children arrive with short notice and only stay for short periods of time, may be challenging. However, they might thrive while living with a foster sibling who is in a long-term placement, meaning that they will stay in your family home until they turn 18.

Being the parent to a disabled or neurodiverse child will mean that you have plenty of transferrable skills which could make you an incredible candidate to care for other children with complex needs. For example, if you have a child with ASD, you might thrive while fostering an autistic child alongside your own children.

Learn more about fostering a child with a disability or download our click below to download our free guide ‘Disability and Mental Health: A Foster Parent’s Guide to Complex Needs.’

DOWNLOAD OUR GUIDE
FOSTERING A CHILD WITH AUTISM

How we’ll support you

Fostering when you have a child with additional needs requires support, and that’s why you can always rely on our team here at Fostering People. When you get in touch with us our team will asses your family’s unique needs to ensure that you’re ready to foster, taking everything which we’ve discussed above into account.

We’ll support you through your fostering journey in a wide variety of ways, including:

  • We’ll use a careful matching process to ensure that we find a great dynamic between the children in your home.
  • We offer 14 nights of respite care to all of our foster parents so that you can rest and recharge.
  • You’ll receive a generous fostering allowance.
  • We offer ample training opportunities where you can learn about all sorts of subjects including supporting neurodiverse children and sibling relationships.
  • We’ll provide you with plenty of guidance via our 24/7 helpline, our local support groups and sessions with your personal supervising social worker.

Learn more about the vast range of support we offer.

Support for your children 

Here at Fostering People we offer lots of support for our young people, designed to meet the needs of both your children and the children you’ll welcome into your home. Some of this support includes:

  • Specialist support for children with autism
  • A children’s council who have their say in how we do things here at Fostering People
  • Regular fun and free family events, tailored to support your child’s needs
  • Therapeutic and educational support for foster children

Is your family ready to foster? 

There are many children across the UK right now who are in need of stable, loving family homes. If you’re interested in opening your home to a child and learning more about what it takes to become a foster family, contact our team on 0800 3698512 or by filling in our enquiry form.

Playful Parenting: Putting P.A.C.E Strategies into Action

Here at Fostering People we utilise the P.A.C.E parenting model, a trauma-informed parenting approach comprised of four key characteristics which you can use to help children navigate their emotions; playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy.

Let’s take a look at the first P.A.C.E strategy in a little more detail and discover how you can start incorporating playful parenting tips into day-to-day life with your foster child.

The importance of play

Play is not just about having fun; it’s a crucial part of every child’s development and is seen across many species. As Professor Carla Rinaldi said, “Play and learning are like the two wings of a butterfly— one cannot exist without the other.” In humans, play supports us to understand the world around us, make new social connections and develop key skills such as fine motor skills and executive function. Different styles of play, such as imaginative play and rule-based games, help children’s development in different areas.

Playfulness in P.A.C.E

Being playful in your parenting style isn’t about being happy and positive all the time, and it certainly isn’t about joking around when a child is upset or teasing them. Instead, playful parenting aims to create a light and positive atmosphere where your child feels free to be completely themselves and where they know that they are safe. Dr. Dan Hughes, the founder of Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy and the P.A.C.E model, defines playfulness in parenting as:

“It’s about enjoying the relationship. That’s where the ‘P’ in P.A.C.E really manifests itself. The playfulness is an enjoyment of the child in the relationship.”

Being playful with your children shows them that you are comfortable and relaxed in their presence, and that you enjoy being around them. Having an adult who truly engages can be life-changing in helping a child to heal from trauma and begin building deep, healthy connections with the people in their lives.

Let’s explore some playful P.A.C.E strategies which can help you to foster therapeutically.

3 Playful P.A.C.E strategies for young children

  1. Use a light and friendly communication style. Taking a gentle, friendly approach to daily life can help your little ones to feel at ease. Use a gentle tone of voice and get down onto their level when speaking with them. Be mindful of your facial expressions and body language; things like frowning or having your arms crossed may make you appear threatening. Don’t be afraid to be silly, which can diffuse tension and provide plenty of opportunities for fun and laughter together. Try to keep your interactions positive and fun wherever appropriate, and use active listening techniques such as reflecting back what has been said to you and asking open questions to get the most out of your chats together.
  2. Take joy in the world around you. Show your child that the world can be a safe and welcoming place for them by taking the time to highlight the wonderful things which we can easily take for granted, by finding fun in the mundane. A bit of imagination and a playful spirit can transform even something as everyday as the school run; perhaps you could challenge your little one to listen out for birds and see who’s best at imitating their calls, or bring their wellies along at pick up time so that you can enjoy splashing in puddles together on the walk home!
  3. Use play to explore emotions. For some children who have experienced trauma, putting a name to emotions and empathising with others can be challenging. One great way to help teach these skills is through imaginative play. This could be by roleplaying scenarios with toys during playtime, or by pausing while reading a story book to talk about how the characters are feeling.

You can also utilise this technique when watching TV or YouTube together by reflecting on character interactions at the end of an episode. For example, in this adorable scene from the popular cartoon Bluey, Bluey and her younger sister spend so much time squabbling over not wanting to share their desserts that their delicious ice-creams melt in the sun. By asking open questions such as, ‘how do you think Bluey felt when she saw that her ice cream had melted?’ or ‘why do you think Bluey’s dad decided to share his own ice cream?’ you can help your little one to start naming emotions and build empathy skills.

3 Playful parenting strategies for older children and teenagers

Though being playful may look different for older children, it’s just as important. Let’s look at 3 playful parenting strategies which work great for older kids.

  1. Find a hobby which you can share. Whether it’s gaming nights, cooking together or a shared love of sport, shared hobbies are great for building bonds. Try to find a hobby which prioritises your teen’s interests over your own, and don’t be afraid to try something new— maybe they would love for you to help them create a home-made costume to show off at a comic con, or would love to see you get involved in another unusual activity like roller-derby or Geocaching!Showing your young person that you really care about their interests by trying something new and getting a little out of your comfort zone can really help the two of you to bond. Keep things friendly if you’re doing something competitive.  Remember that your focus should always be on enjoying the process together rather than trying to be the best at a sport or having a perfect end product with creative hobbies like art or baking. Volunteering together in your community is also a fantastic way to help others while helping your teen to build confidence, social skills and empathy.
  2. Get your teen involved and ‘gamify’ everyday tasks. Getting your young person involved in suitable household tasks is a great opportunity to spend time together while teaching them the skills they’ll need to become independent and responsible adults. Asking your teenager to help out also shows them that they’re a valued member of your family with a part to play.Even mundane tasks can be tuned into great opportunities to bond when we sprinkle in a little playfulness. You can incorporate playfulness in a myriad of different ways during everyday chores and interactions, such as by turning on some music you both love to sing along to while washing up or by starting a water fight while washing the car together on a sunny day. Learn more about how to build a strong bond with the teens in your care.
  3. Allow them to be children. Remember, though it’s easy to forget at times, our teenagers are still children. Some children may need time and encouragement to behave like children again if they have experienced Parentification. They may also at times act much younger than you might expect. If you spot behaviours in your teen which seem unusual for their age, these may be a result of how trauma has influenced their maturation and brain development.Rather than berating them by demanding that they ‘act their age,’ it’s important to recognise that they may be at a different level developmentally and may need a different approach to support. Many children who have experience of being in care have also missed out on much of the fun and freedom of childhood, so make an effort to encourage them to express themselves and act childlike where appropriate and join in with their joy.

Playful parenting resources

Can’t get enough of our playful parenting tips? Check out some of our recommended resources below for more ideas on how you can incorporate playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy into your families’ everyday life.

  • ‘The P in P.A.C.E,’ a brilliant article by Dr Chris Moore, educational psychologist
  • Our blog on understanding the unseen effects of childhood trauma
  • Dr Dan Hughes’ website, where you can learn more about playful parenting directly from the creator of P.A.C.E
  • Watch the still face experiment, which shows just how much of an impact play has on parent and child interactions
  • This article from The Marbles Kids Museum, which suggests a bunch of fun and playful parenting strategies for kids of all ages

Applying P.A.C.E in daily life

Using the P.A.C.E approach helps to teach your foster child that you are an adult to be relied upon, who cares deeply about their wellbeing and emotions and who will be there to support them through whatever challenges they may face. You’ll learn more about the 4 P.A.C.E strategies during your training with us as we prepare you to become a new foster parent.

Ready to learn more about what it takes to become a foster parent? Our team here at Fostering People would love to hear from you. Enquire with us today to get started on your journey towards changing the lives of children or learn more about the support we offer to our foster parents. 

New Year, New Start: Why 2025 Could Be the Perfect Time to Foster

new career of fostering

How to choose a new career

Starting a new career may seem daunting, but when you take a step back, you’ll see that it’s actually an opportunity to go on a journey of self-discovery. It forces you to reflect and ask yourself whether your current career aligns with your values, goals, and the lifestyle you wish to lead. Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you decide on a new career and why fostering could be the perfect choice.

What matters to you?

What are you hoping to get out of your new career? Whether it be an improved sense of job satisfaction or a desire to make a direct difference, figuring out what matters most to you will help narrow down your career search.

A career that transforms young lives

If you’re looking for a career where you’ll make a significant impact, fostering could be your ideal vocation. There are currently around 70,000 children living in foster care in the UK and this number is predicted to rise in 2025. We urgently need more foster parents to provide safe, stable and nurturing homes for the most vulnerable children in our society.

What could be more satisfying than supporting a child’s development and building their self-esteem, confidence and trust?

What transferable skills do you have?

Whichever career route you’ve taken up until this point, you will have gained transferable job skills that you can apply to your new role. Grab a notepad and write down the knowledge, experience, and skills you’ve gained in previous roles to see if they align with any potential new career paths.

Transferable skills include:

  • Communication
  • Organisation
  • Collaboration
  • Resilience
  • Problem-solving
  • Adaptability
  • Patience
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Compassion
  • Job specific training, knowledge and experience.

Transferable skills for fostering

If you possess any transferable skills mentioned above and are eager to develop them further, fostering could be the perfect next step in your career journey.

The role of a foster parent is extremely varied, involving everything from daily care and school drop-offs to managing behaviour, emotions and family time meetings. Not only will you utilise these skills on a daily basis, but with Fostering People, we’ll help you enhance them even further.

When you foster with us, we’re committed to your personal growth and professional development. We’ll equip you with the knowledge and local support you need to provide therapeutic foster care for children and young people who are living with the trauma of their early life experiences. Our comprehensive foster care training will also prepare you to face any challenges, transitions or barriers you or the child in your care may face along the way.

How do you want to work?

Some people thrive in a buzzing office environment, while others prefer the flexibility of not being tied to a single location. Many enjoy the structure of a traditional 9-to-5 working day, whereas others are energised by a more varied role with flexible hours. Similarly, some individuals prefer working from home, while others find comfort in heading to the same workplace each day.

Take some time to reflect on how you want to work and how it aligns with the lifestyle you envision for yourself, both now and in the future.

Fostering around your commitments

If you’re looking for a job role that’s rewarding and flexible, fostering could be the ideal profession for you. At Fostering People, we offer a wide range of fostering placements, enabling you to foster alongside your existing commitments.

When you apply to foster with us, we’ll take the time to understand your preferences and help identify the type of fostering that best suits your lifestyle. For example, if you’d prefer to start gradually or have other obligations that make long-term fostering difficult, you could consider fostering a child in an emergency or providing respite care for other foster parents.

The child’s age can also be a factor in finding the right fit – young children often require more hands-on care, while teenagers tend to be more independent.

Our training works around your schedule, with many courses available online or delivered in your local community. Our support is also local. Our social workers live and work within the communities they serve, ensuring help is always close at hand. This prevents you from travelling far to access the support you need.

What are your salary expectations?

If you’re currently in a job role where you feel your hard work and meaningful contributions aren’t reflected in your pay, it’s the perfect opportunity to reassess your salary expectations before exploring a new career.

Sometimes, embarking on a new career path may involve a temporary reduction in salary. For many, this is a worthwhile step towards pursuing a career they’re passionate about. Others may find this more challenging due to their financial commitments. However, with careful planning, this transition can still be rewarding.

If you possess experience, knowledge, and skills relevant to your prospective new career, this may not apply, but it is still worth considering.

Foster parent pay

If you’re keen to pursue a career where your hard work and commitment are truly valued and rewarded, 2025 could be the perfect time to consider becoming a foster parent.

At Fostering People, we’re dedicated to ensuring you feel appreciated for the incredible steps you take to improve the lives of children and young people in care. That’s why we offer a generous fostering allowance, currently averaging at £482 per week per child, which is typically tax-free.

You’ll additionally benefit from a range of perks, including exclusive discounts from hundreds of brands. Whether you want to treat the child in your care to a day out or a trip to the cinema, these discounts enrich your fostering experience and allow you to take every opportunity to make memories that last a lifetime.

Are you thinking about a post-retirement career?

If you’re post-retirement, you may wonder: Am I too old to start a new career? The answer is no – you’re never too old to embark on a new career. However, it’s essential to think about the types of careers that will best suit your individual circumstances. To help you make your decision, consider the following:

Do you want to work full-time or part-time?

  • If you have any health issues, will they affect your ability to perform particular roles?
  • How long do you want to continue working?
  • Will working fit into your desired retirement lifestyle?

Many people choose to work after they’ve retired and bring a huge amount of life experience and knowledge to the world of work.

Fostering after retirement

If you’re exploring a new career post-retirement, fostering could be an excellent choice. There’s no upper age limit to foster, and at Fostering People, many of our foster parents use their retirement to make a meaningful difference in young lives.

Foster parents who start their journey in retirement bring a wealth of knowledge, experience and wisdom to the role, which can have a profound impact on the children they care for.

As part of the assessment process, you’ll undergo a health check to ensure fostering won’t negatively affect your well-being and confirm you can keep up with the demands of caring for young people. With our support, fostering in retirement can be a deeply rewarding and fulfilling journey.

Discover a new career in fostering

If you’re ready to take your career in a new and rewarding direction by becoming a foster parent, here are the initial requirements you’ll need to meet:

  • You must be 21 or over.
  • You must have a spare bedroom for a child to make their own.
  • You must have the legal right to live and work in the UK.

Call us today to learn about fostering in more detail and take the first step towards making 2025 the most exciting and fulfilling year of your career journey yet. Together, we can help you build a career that will not only change the lives of children and young people but yours as well.

Enquire today

Introducing Fostering People’s Buddy Scheme

Buddy Scheme

Bringing foster families together

Here at Fostering People, we want to ensure that our new foster parents are never alone while navigating the highs and lows of the assessment process and day-to-day life. That’s why we’ve designed a fantastic scheme which pairs people going through the fostering assessment process with an experienced foster parent in their area.

These fantastic volunteers, known as ‘Buddies,’ are a great source of advice for new comers to fostering, offering support, guidance and a listening ear. Buddies offer support in a variety of ways, including over the phone, at in-person meetups, and at social events run by Fostering People. Buddies will work alongside a new applicant until they’re confident in their new role as a foster parent, and the friendships built during this crucial phase can last a lifetime.

Finding the right Buddy for you

During your fostering assessment process, you’ll have the opportunity to be matched with a buddy who’ll be a great fit for you during the first few weeks of your assessment. We carefully match buddies based on a range of qualities including personality, location and things you may have in common.

For example, if you’re a single applicant, we might match you with a single foster parent whose experiences in fostering may be similar to what you’ll encounter. If you’re fostering as an LGBTQIA+ couple, we might match you with a foster parent who has lived experience of fostering as a queer person.

Guidance and reassurance

We sat down with Oliver Kirkland, who has been the Registered Manager for Fostering People for the past 6 years, to find out just what it is that makes the Buddy Scheme so special.

“We endeavour to ‘buddy up’ all potential foster parents with an existing foster parent, because having someone available to talk to is always helpful,” Oliver said. “It’s really beneficial for new applicants to be able to touch base with someone who already fosters, to talk to about their experiences and answer any questions they might have. It helps them feel a part of our organisation from the get go, and introduces them to the friendly community here at Fostering People.”

Having the support of a Buddy can be really beneficial to those taking their first steps to foster. Oliver said:

“When a positive rapport is established, applicants are ready to enter the world of fostering with a more rounded understanding of what the role entails, a clearer sense of what representing Fostering People means, and are better placed to provide the care that vulnerable and traumatised children need.”

A chance to grow and learn

The Buddy Scheme isn’t only helpful for new foster parents— it’s also a fantastic chance for our current foster parents to help out in the community and develop their own skills while helping newcomers to learn how to be a great foster parent.

We asked Oliver what qualities make for a great foster parent Buddy. He said:

“A buddy would usually be someone who has fostered for at least a year and who is invested in the agency, its objectives and its values. They should also be a confident communicator and empathetic to the experiences new foster parents are going through. Buddies receive lots of support from their Supervising Social Worker and from our Team Managers.”

Interested in becoming a foster parent Buddy? Talk to your Supervising Social Worker or our team to learn more about how you can support your wider community as a Buddy.

Thriving as a family

New foster parents also receive plenty of ongoing support here at Fostering People. Our support includes:

  • A 24/7 helpline
  • Support groups for foster parents
  • Days out for foster families
  • A generous fostering allowance
  • Therapeutic support
  • Learn more about the range of support we offer.

Join our community

Could you join our community as one of our fantastic foster parents? If you think fostering could be right for you and your family, we’d love to hear from you. Contact us today or learn more about what it’s like to become a foster parent.

How Fostering People prepare new foster parents to foster successfully

New Foster Parents

When you first begin the process of fostering, things can feel overwhelming as you learn all of the roles and responsibilities which come with being a new foster parent.

Let’s explore some of the ways in which our team at Fostering People will create a bubble of support around your family and help prepare you to foster successfully.

Home Visits

When you first apply to become a foster parent, you’ll take part in a fostering assessment process. As part of your fostering assessment, a social worker will visit you 8-10 times across the span of a few months to really get to know you, your family dynamics, and to get to the heart of what it is that will make you a fantastic foster parent.

During this time you’ll be given all of the information you need and will have the opportunity to ask any and all questions which will arise as you prepare to foster.

Excellent Training

During your fostering assessment process you will take part in a 2-3 day training course, offered either in-person or online, where you’ll have the opportunity to learn from our experienced training staff and meet other soon-to-be foster parents. Once you’re approved to foster you will also take part in a range of mandatory courses including Health and Safety and First Aid.

We also offer our very own ‘Next Steps’ foster care training programme which will teach you a wide range of crucial information, including understanding attachment theory and how to use therapeutic parenting techniques.

The learning doesn’t have to stop there; as an approved foster parent you will also have access to our online learning platform where you can take part in a whole range of interesting courses, available as both e-learning and virtual sessions with a trainer. You can choose any topics which interest you or which will help you to support a child in your care, with topics including gaming and gambling awareness, supporting a child with an eating disorder, and understanding gangs and knife crime.

We understand that everyone has unique learning styles and preferences. To accommodate everyone’s unique needs, we also provide face-to-face training sessions at our local offices where foster parents can come together, build new relationships and share their experiences during our training sessions.

Preparing the whole family

We believe in building close-knit communities and strengthening family bonds, which is why we make an extra effort to support your children through the fostering assessment process and beyond. Becoming a fostering family can be a big transition for some children, who may deal with feelings of jealousy or loneliness if they aren’t given the proper support during each stage of fostering.

During your home visits, your Supervising Social Worker will take the time to get to know your own children and will support you in supporting them through this exciting time of change. We also have a range of online resources for children of foster parents, including our guide for children and young people whose parents are considering fostering.

Your Supervising Social Worker

As a new foster parent, you’ll be assigned a designated Supervising Social Worker who will work closely with you throughout your fostering journey, being by your side to provide you will all of the help and advice you’ll need.

“My main role is to supervise and support foster parents,” says Rob, one of our Supervising Social Workers. “I see my other main responsibility as being an advocate for the foster parents I work with, and even more so for the children they care for. It’s important to ensure that everyone’s needs are taken care of.’

By developing a great working relationship with your Supervising Social Worker, you can help to build a fantastic network of support around the children you’ll be caring for.

Support from other foster parents

We have an incredible foster parent buddy scheme, where as a new foster parent you’ll be matched with an experienced foster parent in your area who can give you help and advice during your assessment process and your first few months of fostering.

We also host regular support groups, including ones designed specifically for newly approved foster parents, where you can share your experiences, learn together and make new friends. We also plan regular events throughout the year where the whole family can have fun while making new friends.

Ongoing support, whenever you need it

As a foster parent with us you’ll also benefit from a wide range of other support once you begin fostering, including:

  • A generous fostering allowance
  • Access to our discounts platform
  • 24/7 phone line
  • 14 days of optional respite per year
  • Free membership to Fostertalk
  • Learn more about the holistic support we offer to our foster parents.

Ready to begin your fostering journey?

We’d love to hear from you if you’re passionate about the idea of fostering. Give us a call on 0800 077 8159 or fill in our enquiry form to learn more about how you can begin making a difference.

Celebrating Black History Month: Uplifting Children’s Cultural Identity

Why do we celebrate Black History Month?

Black History Month UK is a time to highlight the crucial contributions of black communities in shaping our world, to recognise the prejudices faced by the black community, and to celebrate the influence of black culture on life in the UK.

Here at Fostering People, we understand the importance of supporting children’s cultural identity in every aspect of their lives, and we respect and value the cultural heritage of every child, foster parent and staff member.

Let’s explore some ways in which foster parents can celebrate children’s heritage throughout the year, helping them to cultivate a strong sense of their identity and pride in who they are.

The importance of understanding identity in fostering

The majority of foster parents in the UK are from a white background, meaning that many children spend their time in foster care in cross-cultural placements. These foster families do an incredible job in caring for children, as they are dedicated to understanding the importance of helping children to maintain a strong connection to their heritage.

In foster care, it is widely accepted that we can reach the best outcomes for children when they live with a foster family who share their culture, whether that be sharing the same race, ethnicity or religion. There’s a real need for more foster parents from ethnic minority backgrounds, and we’re always encouraging more people to foster.

‘Sometimes you have to live it to know it,’ says foster mum Yvonne, who has been changing the lives of children in the East Midlands for the past fourteen years. ‘Often young people in care will go to school with a majority of white people, then come home to white people, but it’s important that they are able to experience their own culture…. we want them to see positive [black] role models and professional people.’

Read more of Yvonne’s story, or keep on reading to discover 5 ways in which you can help to support your foster child’s cultural identity.

5 ways to support your foster child’s cultural identity

Celebrate children’s identity at home

When you choose to become a foster parent, you’re making a dedication to support a child in every aspect of their life. Creating an inclusive environment for your foster child is an incredible way of supporting them to develop their confidence and sense of self-image.

You can help to make your home a place where their heritage is embraced in many ways, such as by learning to cook their favourite meals and by ensuring they have access to everything they need, such as the right products for their skin and hair. If your foster child isn’t from the UK, you could making an effort to learn their first language or support them to wear traditional dress. If your foster child is religious, you should ensure that you embrace their faith and encourage them to worship in whichever way feels right to them.

Be mindful of respecting your young person’s interests and accounting for their preferences, even if they differ from your own—for example, don’t criticize the music they like, harmless slang they use among their friends or their fashion choices. Doing this may make them feel as though they need to hide a part of their identity away from you, which is damaging to you relationship as a family and to your young person’s self-image.

Deepen your knowledge with our training resources

Our foster parents are always strengthening their knowledge, and one of the ways you can do this is by taking part in our range of training opportunities. Our cultural training for foster parents covers a range of topics including caring for a child from a different background to your own and how to promote equality and diversity, meaning you’ll be equipped with all the skills you need to give your foster children the best possible care.

We offer our training in multiple formats, including online modules and in-person training where you’ll have the opportunity to meet other foster parents and learn from one another’s experiences.

We encourage you to utilise other sources like your local library to continue to strengthen your understanding of your young person’s heritage and the importance of supporting children’s cultural growth. A great place to start is our resource booklet, developed specially for Black History Month.

Take an intersectional approach

To take an intersectional approach means to recognise the ways in which different forms of oppression can intertwine and impact upon a person’s life. It’s important to develop a deep understanding of the intersectionality between the different forms of prejudice which the child in your care may face.

‘Most children living with our foster parents are likely to be at a disadvantage to the majority of young people as a result of the adversity they have experienced in the early years of their life,’ said Glenda, one of our managers in the East Midlands. ‘Young people with additional protected characteristics are at greater risk of disadvantage, which has the potential to impact on their immediate and longer term life experiences and potential.’

It’s important that we recognise that, along with prejudices such as racism, young people in foster care may encounter prejudice due to harmful stereotypes about people with experience of living in care. One way which this can impact children with ethnic minority heritage in particular is through Adultification. Adultification is the misguided and dangerous practice of treating children as though they are more mature than they really are. You’ll have the opportunity to learn more about Adultification through our online training platform.

Support children’s mental health

Here at Fostering People we take a therapeutic approach to foster care. One of your crucial roles as a foster parent is to support the mental wellbeing of the children you care for. People from ethnic minority backgrounds face racism on both an institutional and interpersonal level, which can be damaging to a person’s mental health. Racial discrimination can come in many forms, including verbal or online abuse, stereotyping and micro-aggressions.

Ensure that race it a topic you speak openly about in your home, and encourage your young person to talk openly about their experiences. Really listen to what they say when they’re ready to share, reassuring them that their feelings are valid. Be an advocate for them when they need support, and ensure that both you and your young person understand what help is available to you if they face abuse or discrimination, whether online, at school or in any other environment.

We recommend that you read our guidance on how to support a child who is struggling with their mental health, as well as this fantastic article from the YoungMinds charity about how to support children whose mental health is impacted by racism. Talk to your Supervising Social Worker if you believe that a young person in your care could benefit from additional support such as counselling.

Reach out for support

Our team here at Fostering People are well-prepared to support you and the children who you care for in every aspect of your lives together. Your family will receive comprehensive support from a range of professionals including your Supervising Social Worker and our CEOP online safety ambassador.

As well as our excellent training, you’ll have the opportunity to meet other foster parents from a wide range of backgrounds at our regular foster parent support groups. Learning from other experienced foster parents in is a fantastic way of developing your skills, and our local fun family events will provide opportunities for your young person to build a community of friends and role models who share their experiences.

For children in cross-cultural placements, we’ve also designed an action plan for every child which is tailored to their unique needs and regularly reviewed to ensure that everyone involved in their care is doing everything can to support their cultural heritage. By working together to achieve the best outcomes for children from an ethnic minority background, we can all do our part in helping to strengthen a child’s sense of who they are.

Understanding identity and diversity throughout the year

It’s so important to help children to understand and embrace their heritage, helping them to be proud of who they are and what makes them special. This Black History Month, let’s all make a commitment to continue working every day to help children to understand their cultural identity.

Do you think you might be ready to foster? Here at Fostering People we’re always ready to welcome new foster parents from all different backgrounds so that we can help change the lives of more children together. Reach out to us today on 0800 077 8159 or by filling in our enquiry form to speak with a member of our team who will help you learn more about becoming part of our team of caring, committed foster parents.

What Makes Fostering a Teenager Incredibly Rewarding

Teens in care

Imagine; you’re in your teenage years and due to circumstances out of your control, you are unable to live with your family. You can’t go home— perhaps you don’t want to. You’re being moved away from your friends and family and have been told that you will be moving into a stranger’s home. Wouldn’t the world feel like a scary, lonely place?

Thousands of children have found themselves in this difficult position. Thankfully, there are wonderful foster parents up and down the UK who foster teenagers, welcoming them into their homes and lives. All foster parents start as strangers but are soon able to become the pillar of support which a young person comes to rely on as their house becomes the young person’s home, filled with the love, care and protection which every child deserves.

Breaking the stigma

There are several myths surrounding teenagers who are in foster care or children’s homes. Some people assume that teenagers are in care due to poor or anti-social behaviour which their parents have been unable to manage. This is not the truth.

The truth is that children come into care for a variety of reasons, none of which they are to blame for. The death of a parent or caregiver can mean that some children come into care, while others have come from a home which was neglectful or abusive. Many care-experienced teenagers will have been in the foster care system since they were little, may will have experienced complex trauma which they need help and guidance to process and ultimatley heal from.

Protecting vulnerable children of every age

It is important for everyone to recognise that teenagers are still children and are in many ways just as vulnerable as younger children. Teens are especially vulnerable to exploitation by gangs, trafficking and sexual exploitation, with one study finding that ‘compared to younger children, teenagers in care are six times more likely to be victims of sexual exploitation,’ and another finding that an estimated 30,000 – 50,000 children in the UK have been lured into involvement with gangs.

The adultification of vulnerable children is dangerous, and particularly impacts children from Black and Minority Ethnic (BAME) backgrounds. Treating vulnerable children as though they are adults robs them of their childhood and can lead to failings in protect them from dangers.

It’s vital that looked after young people are provided with a loving, protective environment to help shield them from exploitation. Teenagers in foster care need and deserve compassionate care and protection just as much as any other child.

Could you foster a teenager?

There’s a real need for more foster parents who are eager to welcome teenagers into their home. You don’t need experience of looking after a teen and you can become a foster parent even if you’ve had no experience in looking after children before.

If you choose to change a life by welcoming a young person into your home, you’ll soon begin reaping the rewards. Read on to discover some amazing reasons why you should consider fostering a teenager.

5 reasons to consider fostering a teenager

Be there for kids most in need of safe and loving homes

There is a shortage of foster parents who are open to providing a home for older children. This means that many older children in need of a home are moved into shared children’s homes or supported accommodation, which can lack the benefit of a family environment and 1-1 care due to rotating staff and more children to care for. Due to a lack of available foster homes, older children are also regularly separated from their siblings, which can be incredibly distressing.

Older kids in foster care have often been through a variety of moves and disruptions. You could provide a child with the invaluable gift of stability. They may never before have experienced a safe home with a parental figure who has their best interests as their top priority. Your love, care and nurturing home environment could provide them with the tools they need to heal, improving their prospects as they take their crucial first steps towards young adulthood.

Support young people at a pivotal time

Our teenage years are formative, and can have an enormous impact on our overall life. All teenagers experience a range of turbulences and difficulties in these pivotal years, whether it be to do with hormones, body image, schooling, or friends. Children who are care experienced often have a lot more to deal with on top of these usual challenges due to their circumstances.

As a therapeutically trained foster parent, you’ll have the opportunity to help guide a teen through this difficult period, teaching them about healthy relationships and being there as an adult they can trust. You can encourage them to achieve their best academically and help them to decide what they want to do with their future as they approach adulthood and age out of foster care. There’s nothing more rewarding than seeing a young person transform and succeed.

Fostering a teenager is a rare opportunity to make a real difference to a young person’s life prospects before they begin making their way into the adult world, which often lacks understanding of the experiences of care-experienced youth. You can be a pillar of support and guidance, showing them the way to a healthy, fulfilling life and a future which is all their own.

Support their independence

When you foster a teenager, you’ll more than likely benefit from having more freedom and flexibility than if you were to care for a younger child. Teens are able to stay on their own for short periods of time and often require less close supervision. They also value having alone time, autonomy and their own personal space. Most teens are fully able to take care of their personal care needs and are responsible enough to take care of their own daily routines, such as getting themselves to school or making themselves a snack.

Fostering a teen can also be great fun— teenagers tend to have a wicked sense of humour, and rather than the hours of kids cartoons you’d likely watch while looking after younger children, you and the teens you care for can form bonds over and enjoy age-appropriate shows, games and hobbies together. Their maturity will allow you to have a different style of relationship than the bonds you would form with a younger child, which can often make communication easier.

This ability won’t only be an asset during the fun times, but during harder times, too. It’s important to be honest and open with teens, acknowledging their level of maturity. Teenagers are also often better equipped to understand their situation better, and the logic behind why certain decisions about their care have been made, in a way that a younger child would be unable to understand. However, this doesn’t mean that these decisions will be any less upsetting or frustrating. By listening to and respecting their views, you can help them to build a deep, trusting bon with you.

The sudden freedom of turning eighteen and leaving care may excite some young people and may make others anxious about their future. Encouraging freedom and independence in a safe, nurturing environment can be hugely beneficial in shaping your teen into a self-sufficient young adult who’ll be ready to handle the new responsibility of caring for themselves, and in making the transition from a foster home to independent living much easier.

Build a lifelong connection

When you foster a child, you’ll treasure the memories of the time you shared with them. There’s no doubt they’ll remember you, too. Your relationship with the teenager you foster doesn’t have to change when they turn eighteen. You can choose to continue offering a young person a loving home and a place to stay through the Staying Put arrangement until they feel ready to move away from home.

Many care-experienced teenagers choose to keep in touch with their foster family, whether that’s the occasional text message to check in on how one another are doing, or whether it’s continuing to spend time together and sharing celebrations like Christmas or birthdays together. The bond you can build with a teenager is a beautiful thing, and it has the potential to last even when they become adults.

Our generous fostering allowance

As the foster parent of a teenager you will receive a generous fostering allowance to help you support the young person in your care. Alongside a generous fostering allowance, when you foster with us you’ll benefit from a wide range of support including a 24/7 helpline, local support groups, ongoing training opportunities and the option to take 14 days of paid respite per year. With the support of our dedicated team of childcare professionals, there will always be someone there to help you and the teens in your care with any challenges you may face.

Are you ready to foster?

If you’d love to offer your heart and your home to a teenager in need, we’ll be there to support you every step of the way. We’ll always be on hand to offer both you and the young person in your care tailored support whenever you need us.

Get in touch today by filling in our enquiry form or giving us a call on 0808 304 2454. While you’re here, why not watch our video to learn more from our friendly team about what happens when you make an enquiry with us?

The Importance of a Trauma-Informed Approach in Foster Care

At Fostering People, we support children from diverse backgrounds, but one thing they often have in common is trauma from adverse childhood experiences. That’s why we are committed to therapeutic fostering and using a trauma-informed approach so children living with trauma can heal.

But what is trauma, and why is a trauma-informed approach important in foster care? Keep reading to find out.

What is Trauma?

Many children in care have experienced prolonged adverse childhood experiences, such as abuse and neglect. These experiences affect each child uniquely and can impact all areas of their life now and in adulthood.

Childhood trauma causes emotional pain and mental health conditions like depression, anxiety and PTSD. There can also be physical symptoms and a reduction in cognitive function, making it more difficult for children with trauma to concentrate, retain memories and learn new things.

When ignored or left untreated, childhood trauma can lead to a lack of fulfilment when they reach adulthood. It may also lead them to fall behind their peers at school and, in the future, make it difficult to form relationships and impact employment.

All is not lost; we can mitigate the impacts of trauma by using a trauma-informed approach in foster care, giving children with trauma hope and a brighter future.

What Does Trauma-Informed Mean?

The trauma-informed approach means understanding children living with trauma and how it can impact all areas of their lives. It’s about being mindful of triggers and providing a safe and stable foster home where they can freely express their emotions and be themselves.

Through a combination of this and collaboration with enhanced communities of support, children can begin to recover from their trauma and reach their full potential.

Safety and Stability

Recovery can only begin if children have a safe and stable home. A safe and stable home protects and promotes children’s physical, mental, spiritual and emotional well-being. It’s a platform for children to discover themselves, build relationships, find educational fulfilment, and feel empowered to succeed.

At Fostering People, we ensure the best matches between foster families and children by truly getting to know everyone. By doing so, we nurture the whole family and provide children with homes where their triggers are understood and alleviated so they can heal.

Building Trust Through Understanding

Another crucial aspect of the trauma-informed approach involves taking the time to look beyond the behaviour of children living with trauma. It means slowing down your response so you can recognise their triggers and understand their inner world; this helps you provide appropriate support.

At Fostering People, we train our foster parents to use the PACE approach. PACE stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy. It encourages foster parents to be mindful of their interactions with children who have trauma, responding thoughtfully, creating trust and helping them through big emotions.

Playfulness – means two things. Firstly, it’s adding appropriately timed moments of silliness and playfulness into your daily interactions with children. This could mean creating a song about washing up or dancing whilst baking together. These moments give you an opportunity to bond and can make children feel at ease.

Secondly, playfulness means using soft tones and facial expressions when responding to children’s behaviour if being silly in this situation would be inappropriate. For example, if they have fallen out with a friend, it would be inappropriate to make a joke. Instead, you could use open body language, ensure you’re at their level and use a light-hearted tone.

Acceptance – means accepting the cause of a child’s behaviour because you know there is an underlying explanation. It also means providing non-judgemental support so they can share their thoughts, feelings and emotions.

For example, the child in your care grew up in a home where they often felt hungry, they have been hiding food in their bedroom for weeks, and you find some moulding under their bed. At first, you may feel confused or annoyed, but the PACE approach encourages you to stop and think about the underlying reasons for this behaviour before responding. You can then explain to the child in your care that they don’t need to hide food in their room because they can ask you for it if they feel hungry.

Curiosity – When children enter a new foster home, they may not feel comfortable or able to share their feelings, emotions, or experiences. So, it is vital to be curious and attentive to decode their behaviours and, by doing so, show the child that you care about their thoughts and feelings.

Curiosity means being mindful of children’s behaviour and asking questions that help you better understand. For example, the child in your care comes home from school upset and rips up a card she received on her birthday from her best friend, which indicates she has fallen out with her friend and this could be triggering feelings of rejection. With this in mind, you can approach the subject with understanding and ask questions that show the child you care.

Empathy – means putting yourself in the child’s position and imagining how they must be feeling so you can better understand their behaviour. You can then respond to the child using compassionate language.

For example, the child in your care wants to go swimming this weekend but has an ear infection, so they can’t go and they are upset. You can explain that you understand their frustration and why they are upset because you know swimming is their favourite activity, which could help them feel less alone in their feelings.

Community and Collaboration

The trauma-informed approach emphasises collaboration and building strong communities that put foster families at the centre. This is why, at Fostering People, we create close-knit communities that support the needs of the whole family. We ensure everyone feels safe, supported and valued, giving children with trauma a nurturing environment to thrive.

Our trauma-informed communities include:

  • Dedicated social worker – Our social workers live and work from home in the communities they serve, meaning they are close at hand to offer guidance, support and advice whenever needed. Our social workers are all PACE trained, to support you in your fostering role.
  • Support groups – We offer support groups in local community venues that allow you to meet other foster parents, discuss your experiences and enhance your skills in the trauma-informed approach.
  • Network of fostering professionals – Being trauma-informed means knowing that often, children with trauma need input from fostering specialists like therapists, who can provide counselling to help them work through their trauma. Our network includes therapists, social workers and more.
  • Community activities and events – each region has a calendar bursting with fun activities and events for the whole family to enjoy. Giving you and the children in your care a chance to make friends, build on your support and spend time with like-minded people.
  • 24/7 assistance – our phone line is available 24/7 with experts waiting to help you, no matter the time of day.

Trauma-informed Training

At Fostering People, our trauma-informed training equips foster parents with the skills and knowledge they need to support children living with trauma.

Our trauma-informed training includes:

  • Prepare to foster training – completed during your assessment; our ‘Next Steps’ programme will introduce you to therapeutic parenting and the trauma-informed approach.
  • Induction training – Once approved, you’ll complete our induction training on topics such as Safeguarding, First Aid and Equality, Diversity & Inclusion.
  • Advanced training – When you’ve completed your induction training, you can opt to complete training in specialist topics like Emotional Wellbeing, Mental Health Awareness and Child Development to broaden your knowledge.

Many training courses are delivered online, and in-person courses take place in local community venues. Your supervising social worker will work with your family to make sure you receive training that will help you support children living with trauma effectively.

Do you want to join a fostering agency committed to providing children with trauma-informed care? Get in touch to learn more about the role of a foster parent and to find out how much fostering allowance you could receive.

Together, using a trauma-informed approach, we can change the outcomes for children with childhood trauma and make an extraordinary difference that will last a lifetime.

The Unique Role of Foster Dads in the World of Foster Care

The Significant Role of Foster Dads

Foster dads work hard to help children and young people achieve extraordinary things. The role of ‘foster dad’ is so varied that it means they wear many hats:

  • They look after children and young people’s emotional well-being by accepting, respecting and offering a safe place to share their emotions. They connect with them, giving them autonomy and help them feel significant.
  • They help children and young people work through their trauma by offering a safe and nurturing environment for them to flourish, alongside employing therapeutic strategies such as PACE. PACE stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy, a technique that helps foster parents build trust with the child in their care.
  • They apply the knowledge they have gained in training, understanding that big emotions and challenging behaviour are strategies children and young people have developed to survive adverse childhood experiences.
  • They advocate for children and young peoples’ education, helping them achieve their dreams.
  • They teach children and young people new skills, like cooking and riding a bike and life skills, such as problem-solving, communication and empathy.
  • They nurture children and young people’s self-esteem, encouraging them to participate in local activities to build friendships and try new things.
  • They talk to other foster parents, creating a network of like-minded people to share knowledge, experience and wisdom with to help improve their skills.
  • They are positive male role models, modelling healthy behaviour and attitudes.

Foster Dads are Positive Male Role Models

Foster dads have the unique privilege of becoming male role models for the children and young people in their care. Care-experienced children and young people may not have encountered a positive male influence, which could lead to confusion about how to act, treat others and express themselves.

Male Role Models and Toxic Masculinity

YoungMinds describes toxic masculinity as ‘the negative aspects of exaggerated masculine traits’. It can include beliefs, such as men should not show their emotions or that men and women have gendered roles. It can lead to controlling, dominating and violent behaviour and impacts men seeking help in crisis. Toxic masculinity is harmful to children and young people and can be present on social media, at school and in the home. So, having a positive male role model, like a foster dad, who doesn’t display these traits can have a significant impact.

Foster dads challenge toxic masculinity because they nurture children, show empathy, are open communicators, and can resolve conflict before it escalates. Foster dads aren’t perfect; they are only human, but they can show children and young people a healthy version of masculinity.

The Challenges and Rewards of Being a Foster Dad

Foster parenting brings with it a unique set of challenges, from big emotions to challenges with children and young people’s education. Foster dads are on the frontline; they are there through all the ups and downs of life. But what can be more rewarding than helping a child or young person recover from their trauma, overcome adversity and accomplish extraordinary things?

Steve, a foster dad, explains, ‘We have dealt with many varying issues, from lack of routines or boundaries, very few possessions to parental let downs, depression and self-harming…but to watch them come through stronger and their personalities shine brighter, whilst seeing how happy they have become, makes it all worth it.’

Read Steve’s story

Ian, another foster dad, says, “Fostering has fulfilled more than I could have ever expected and wished for.” He recalls his first Father’s Day as a foster dad when the children in his care gave him a Father’s Day card and how “It was an amazing feeling”.

Read Ian’s story

How Fostering People Support Foster Dads

At Fostering People, we understand the daily challenges faced by foster dads. Whether fostering with a partner or as a single foster dad, we are here to guide and support foster parents on their fostering journey.

  • We are community-centred, with all our social workers living and working from home inside the communities of the regions we serve. They are close at hand and know the local area well.
  • We ensure our foster parents never feel alone, so we are contactable 24/7 via our helpline.
  • All our foster parents have access to our network of highly qualified professionals, such as therapists, educational leads and other professionals who specialise in diverse areas of fostering.
  • We organise support groups in local community venues, allowing foster parents to meet each other, share experiences and become a collaborative community.
  • Each area provides foster parents with a full calendar of events for the whole family.
  • We offer ongoing professional development and extensive foster care training to all our foster parents in local community venues and online.

Addressing Father’s Day Sensitively

Father’s Day can be a sensitive topic for children and young people living with foster parents, so it is vital to be mindful when managing Father’s Day with foster children and planning celebrations. Here are our tips to help you address Father’s Day sensitively:

  • Communicate – Talk to the child or young person in your care about Father’s Day. Ask them if they would like to celebrate in any particular way or not celebrate at all.
  • Listen – verbally and non-verbally to what they are trying to tell you. They may express feelings about Father’s Day openly or communicate in other ways. They may show big emotions about unrelated things as they try to process deeper-rooted feelings about their birth family. They may isolate themselves so they can avoid confronting Father’s Day.
  • Understand – big emotions or disinterest in Father’s Day aren’t about you. They may feel loyalty towards their birth dad, and this could make them feel uncomfortable about recognising the day at all.
  • Offer your support – on special days such as Father’s Day, the child or young person may need more support. If they are struggling with feelings about the day, you could try and take their mind off it by doing something with them that they enjoy, like watching their favourite TV show or cooking a meal together.
  • If you have birth children – Ensure the child or young person doesn’t feel excluded and talk to your birth children to help them understand why this day could be difficult for them.
  • Talk to other foster dads – they may have had similar experiences and could help you with strategies to approach the day sensitively.
  • If your foster child would like to celebrate, then celebrate! You could go on a day trip or do a foster dad and child activity to help build your connection.

There is no right way to celebrate Father’s Day; by supporting and communicating with the child in your care, you can customise the day to suit your family.

If you are considering becoming a foster parent and want to learn more about fostering, enquire today!

7 Reasons to Foster with an Outstanding Fostering Agency

Outstanding Fostering Agency

If you’re contemplating fostering a child and exploring fostering providers, the abundance of choice might be overwhelming. You may have encountered the term ‘Ofsted Outstanding’ during your research, and have an understanding its significance in the context of school evaluations. In this piece, we break down the reasons why considering fostering with an ‘Outstanding’ agency is worth your while, outlining 7 key factors.

7 Reasons why you should foster with an outstanding fostering agency

  1. Continuous Assessment

    Unlike schools, where the frequency of inspections can be reduced after achieving an Outstanding rating, fostering agencies operate differently. Agencies like Fostering People, rated ‘Outstanding’ since 2013, undergo inspections every 3 years. This ensures a continual focus on improvement, with efforts to enhance practices ongoing, even between inspections.

  2. Having Strong Foundations

    Every fostering agency must establish fundamental elements, including policies, procedures, safeguarding of children, and support processes for foster parents. An outstanding agency not only has these foundations in place but consistently implements and follows them.

  3. Continual Improvement

    To attain an Outstanding rating, agencies need to surpass basic foundations. At Fostering People, we recognise that improvements are always possible and this drives our commitment to staying updated on research and initiatives. Embedding these learnings into our practice ensures we continuously enhance our support for foster parents.

  4. Continual learning

    Outstanding agencies, including Fostering People, view themselves as learning organisations. Reflection on outcomes, understanding reasons for deviations from plans, and implementing changes are integral to our approach. This reflective learning ensures continuous improvement in our practice.

  5. New Initiatives

    Exceeding expected service levels is crucial for an Outstanding fostering agency. Fostering People has consistently demonstrated this by launching various initiatives such as Mockingbird and an ACE-informed approach to therapeutic support. Ongoing efforts, like refining the Matching process through national research, showcase a commitment to innovative solutions.

  6. Consistency is Key

    Maintaining an Outstanding rating through multiple inspections requires a dedication to consistency. At Fostering People, achieving a fourth consecutive Outstanding Ofsted inspection sets us apart, as one of only 4 agencies out of over 300 nationally. Our sustained commitment to improvement and a culture focused on doing the best we can contribute to this exceptional achievement.

    How have we done this?

    At Fostering People, achieving and maintaining an Outstanding rating involves an unwavering commitment to providing the best care for children, coupled with continuous improvement in supporting and training foster parents. Our desire to continually improve comes from our overriding desire to offer the very best support to foster parents and the children they care for.

  7. Start the way you mean to go on

    Foster parents play a pivotal role in an agency’s Outstanding rating. At Fostering People, the journey begins with a robust assessment process and additional tools designed to prepare potential foster parents for the fostering role

Fostering with an Outstanding agency like Fostering People ensures not only a solid foundation but an ongoing commitment to excellence and continual improvement, making it a compelling choice for anyone considering fostering.

To find out more about fostering with Fostering People give us a call on 0800 098 4149 or enquire online.

Supporting Foster Children During the Christmas Season

Even though Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year for many, for children in care and their families, it can also be the most difficult time of the year.

Christmas can bring up painful emotions and memories for foster children, that can make the festive season very challenging. While the idea of Christmas can feel exciting, it’s very common for foster children to experience mixed emotions.

This is where therapeutic fostering and offering unconditional support and understanding to your foster child comes in. In this article, we’ll look at ways you can support and comfort your foster child and share tips for supporting foster children at Christmas, to show you how to make Christmas for foster children magical.

Christmas for Foster Children

The fact is, Christmas can be very hard for some children in care. Some may not have contact with their birth family, others might not know who their birth family are, and some might have experienced neglect and abuse during the season. Making it not feel very jolly at all.

As such, they might experience various mixed emotions – excitement, nostalgia, grief, uncertainty, sadness, and anxiety. They might have never received gifts, eaten a Christmas lunch, been to visit Santa in his grotto, or experienced the love and comfort of a secure family during the festive period.

This can make it challenging as a foster parent. You want to give your foster child the Christmas they deserve, but you also want to be sensitive to the needs and feelings of your child.

Whether you are long-term fostering, or fostering your child for a short period, these tips for supporting foster children at Christmas can help.

Helping Your Foster Child at Christmas

1. Prepare Them for the Festivities

Routine and predictability can help foster children feel more secure during the festive period. If your child is used to a certain routine, and it changes without warning for a few weeks in the lead up to Christmas, it can cause upset.

A reliable routine and structure equals safety and security. Impromptu celebrations, parties, and guests can lead your foster child to become nervous and unsettled. Ensure you keep your child feeling comfortable and settled by letting them know what’s going to happen and when – even if it’s something small like going out for a meal or seeing a Christmas film in the cinema. You can create a calendar together to mark down what events you are planning and when so they have a good idea of what is happening well in advance.

You could even involve your foster child by asking them if there is anything they would like to add to the calendar, which can give them a sense of belonging.

2. Encourage Them to Get Involved

Christmas is more than just a day. The run up to Christmas and the festive period is full of wonder, excitement, and magic. If there are traditions your family usually takes part in, involve your foster child. Everything from going out to find the perfect tree, choosing new decorations, and decorating the tree together can make wonderful memories both you and your foster child can cherish for a lifetime. Christmas traditions for foster families can be as simple or as elaborate as you want, so speak to your foster child and see if there is anything special they would like to do. You might even want to create new Christmas traditions to help build positive memories and create a sense of belonging, stability, and connection.

3. Communicate and Listen

Christmas can be a triggering time for children in care as they remember past experiences with their birth family. Whether they have never celebrated the holiday, have experienced challenging Christmases, or they miss the familiarity of their old routine, it’s common for some children to display unpredictable behaviour.

Talking and listening to your child are key to understanding and addressing the unique emotions they may be feeling about Christmas. Create a safe space for them to express their feelings, whether it’s excitement, sadness, or anxiety. If your foster child is happy to open up, gently encourage open conversations about their past experiences with Christmas, and give them the time and space to share any memories or worries. Practice active listening by being attentive and ensuring you validate their emotions. Let them know that it’s absolutely OK to feel a range of emotions, and that you are there for them to make Christmas special. Whatever that might mean.

4. Give Them a Safe Space

Christmas can be overwhelming for many of us, but it may be more so for a child who has come from a traumatic background. They may need some alone time to process their emotions, so providing them with a safe, personal space they can go to whenever they need a few minutes alone is a sensitive way to recognise this.

If your foster child ever feels overwhelmed or seems to pull away, let them know that they have the option to join in with your plans at their own pace, and that it’s OK to take breaks whenever they want. Their safe space can simply be their own bedroom, as long as it’s somewhere they can retreat to whenever they need it.

5. Try to Keep Things Calm

We know that Christmas comes with a lot of excitement and chaotic fun, especially when younger children are involved. But streams of guests, unexpected parties, and busy, loud home environments might not be the best thing for your foster child.

If your child has experienced trauma such as abuse, having strangers come to the house for holiday gatherings could cause panic and anxiety. If your foster child is unsettled, it might be best to avoid parties and just stick to more intimate, gentle celebrations at home. However, if you do have festive visitors, ensure you let your child know well in advance. You could tell them about the people coming, show them photos, and explain who they are to get them familiar with them. It’s also a good idea to prepare any guests so they can make sure they understand how your foster child might be feeling.

6. Get Support

Fostering is something that you shouldn’t do alone. At Christmas or any other time of the year, it’s important to embrace the support networks around you. At Fostering People, we have a wide range of available sources at your disposal, including therapists, support groups, and counselling services. We’re here to help you and your foster child to have a magical Christmas together.

It’s also crucial to reach out to your personal support network – friends and family and other fostering families who can lend a hand, or even a comforting ear. This not only gives you emotional support, but also opens up opportunities for your foster child to build relationships with peers who may share similar experiences. Never be afraid to ask for help. This is something we are all in together.

Support Your Foster Child at Christmas

Christmas is a wonderful opportunity to create lasting memories and provide comfort for your foster child. By following these tips and ideas, you can make a significant positive impact on your foster child’s life – both at Christmas and beyond.

While the role of a foster parent is to give the child in your care the safe and loving home they deserve, we know how important it is to have a support network around you. That’s why we offer not just exceptional support for children in care, but for our wonderful foster carers too. If you need any help, advice, or just a friendly ear to listen, we’re here for you.

Most common causes of stress for children in foster care

Foster care can be a challenging time for children and young people. When they’re placed in foster care, they’re often dealing with the trauma of being removed from their families and familiar surroundings, leaving them with feelings of fear, confusion, and anxiety. The sudden change of living arrangements, lack of stability, and uncertainty about the future can all contribute to stress and anxiety. Plus, they could also be entering adolescence, which comes with bodily changes, heightened emotions and self-exploration. All of this can be tricky to navigate at the best of times, but for those in foster care, it’s combined with trying to deal with their sense of loss and recovery from their pasts.

That’s why the work foster parents do is crucial in helping children deal with their worries, stress and anxiety so they can focus on a happier future. While every child’s history and circumstances will be unique to them, there are some common causes of stress that most looked-after children are likely to experience.

Separation from family

One of the most significant sources of stress for children and young people in foster care is separation from their families. Being removed from their homes and placed in a new environment can be traumatic and difficult to understand, especially for younger children. They may feel confused, sad, and scared about what is happening and why they cannot be with their families. This separation can lead to feelings of abandonment, which can cause long-term emotional distress. Additionally, children may worry about their parents and siblings and feel guilty about being away from them.

Children who are separated from their families are also at higher risk of developing mental health disorders, such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD. A study found that children who experienced separation from their families had a higher risk of developing behavioral and emotional problems, which can impact their social and academic functioning.

At Fostering People, we encourage and support contact with birth families throughout a child’s time in foster care, if it’s in their best interests, of course. This contact is a crucial part of maintaining a sense of stability and continuity for children, as well as helping to restore relationships and work towards reunification.

Changes in living arrangements

Foster care often involves multiple changes in living arrangements. Children and young people may be placed with different families, group homes, or institutions over time. Each move can be stressful, as they have to adapt to new surroundings, new rules, and new people. They may also have to leave behind friends, teachers, and other support systems, which can be hard to cope with.

The constant changes in living arrangements can impact the child’s emotional well-being, including their sense of stability and security. Studies have found that children in foster care who experience frequent changes in living arrangements have more significant emotional and behavioral problems than those who experience fewer changes. Additionally, children who experience multiple placements may struggle to develop trust in their caregivers and develop healthy attachments.

This is why we work so hard to match young people with the right foster parents who can give them what they need. The better the match, the less likely the placement will end unexpectedly, which can lead to further stress and upheaval.

Lack of stability

Being placed into care can be unpredictable, and children and young people may not know what will happen next. They may worry about their future and where they will end up, especially if they have experienced multiple placements or disruptions in their care. The lack of stability can also affect their education, as they may have to change schools during important times and struggle to keep up with their studies.

The instability of foster care can lead to anxiety, depression, and feelings of hopelessness. Children may struggle to develop a sense of self-worth and may lack confidence in their abilities. Additionally, the lack of stability can impact their social skills, making it challenging to form healthy relationships with peers and adults.

Trauma and abuse

Many children and young people in foster care have experienced trauma and abuse before entering care. This trauma can cause lasting emotional and psychological damage, which may manifest as stress, anxiety, and depression. Children may also struggle with trust issues and have difficulty forming attachments to caregivers.

Children who have experienced trauma and abuse may also exhibit challenging behaviors, such as aggression, defiance, and withdrawal. These behaviors can be a source of stress for both the child and their caregiver, so it’s important they both receive vital support whenever they need it. At Fostering People, we are an ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) aware organisation, and take a therapeutic approach to fostering. This means we understand the issues these young people are facing, and take them into account in the way we work. With the support and guidance of other childcare professionals, our foster parents can feel empowered to tackle these challenges and reduce – or remove – the impact of past trauma.

Education

There are a number of reasons why school can be a source of stress for kids in foster care. The disruption they’ve had in their home life can follow through and affect their studies, putting them behind their classmates academically. Moving schools during term time can also disturb the flow of learning, especially if the curriculum is different.

Another reason why school can be stressful is due to bullying. As much as we want to eradicate bullying from the playground, we need to accept the fact it happens, and children growing up in the care system are sadly easy targets for bullies. Their past trauma can make them naturally more vulnerable or shy, which bullies will use to pick on them. Also, if they were the victim of neglect, they may have experienced a lot of bullying prior to joining a loving foster home, where bullies may have teased their appearance, hygiene or clothes.

School should be a safe place where young people can learn, grow, discover their interests and make important friendships. At Fostering People, education is extremely important to us, and we have support for foster children to ensure they get the most out of school. Our Education Coordinator ensures we have a full picture of our children’s academic records, and we’re always in regular contact with schools and colleges.

Social isolation

Children and young people in foster care may feel socially isolated from their peers due to mental health issues or other complex needs that means they distance themselves from others. It could be a case of not wanting to get close to someone out of fear they’re going to lose them, which is a common defense mechanism we use to protect ourselves from further hurt. If they’re suffering from depression, they might withdraw from social situations too.

Social isolation can impact a child’s sense of belonging and self-worth. Children may feel like they do not fit in or that they are different from their peers, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Additionally, social isolation can impact their ability to form healthy relationships and may lead to challenges in their social and emotional development.

That’s why they need a loving, stable, nurturing foster home to help them work through their struggles. These children deserve to have a happy childhood filled with laughter, joy and positive memories, so that’s what we strive towards here at Fostering People. All of our foster parents receive professional training to help them provide the best care possible to vulnerable children and get their lives back onto a positive track.

It is crucial to recognise that children and young people in foster care are resilient and can overcome challenges with the right support and care. By addressing the common causes of stress in foster care, we can ensure that children and young people in care have the opportunity to lead happy and fulfilling lives.

If you’d like to know more about how to become a foster parent and what’s involved, please get in touch with our friendly team today. You could help transform the lives of vulnerable children in your community. 

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Harriet and David’s fostering story

“You know that fostering is going to change someone else’s life.”

Why one couple left their public sector jobs to support children in need.

Harriet (55) and David (59) began their fostering journey 15 years ago as local authority foster parents in the East Midlands. They took a break, returning to their careers as a pharmacist (Harriet) and a police officer (David) before finding their way back to fostering with Fostering People in 2020. After plunging back into foster care at the start of the pandemic, the couple said that ‘there is nothing more rewarding than this.’

Beginning fostering after a considerable break and in the midst of a national lockdown was quite the shock to the system for Harriet and David. Between home-schooling on occasion and trying to keep three children entertained during a pandemic, the family pulled together quickly to make the most of a challenging situation. Harriet said: “There were pros and cons to starting to foster in lockdown. School work was challenging, because our relationship with the children wasn’t very well established at this point, so they didn’t really see us as teachers. It was hard! On the other hand, it brought us close together quite quickly, and really helped us to bond. As we couldn’t spend time with friends or family, we had no choice but to get to know each other properly.”

The couple are currently supporting a sibling group of three with Fostering People who are 15, 12 and 11; 21-year-old Annie also stays with them, she is a ‘staying put’ placement from their time as LA foster carers. Annie moved in for the first time when she was eight with her two siblings. She left to live with another family after a few years, before returning to stay with Harriet and David on an ongoing basis.

“We have seen a lot of positives having Annie and our three younger children at the same time. Particularly for our 15-year-old, it has given him a degree of security because he has seen that it is possible to stay past the age of 18. It can be difficult to be out in the world on your own at 18. We say to our children that they can stay as long as they like, but we know that we are fortunate to be in a position to be able to offer that,” explained Harriet.

The Murches were inspired to foster by Harriet’s own upbringing. “There were times when I wasn’t able to live with my parents as my mum was in hospital for long periods of time, so I thought that I could empathise with children who need to live with another family. We also knew other families that fostered and found it rewarding. It’s funny, because we assumed that fostering would be the same as bringing up our own children, which is something we felt that we did well, but the two are not quite the same,” Harriet said.

After devoting years of their lives to public service, Harriet and David felt like they weren’t making a real difference until they began fostering. David said: “In our jobs it was difficult to see how we were making a difference on an individual basis. And we both felt the same. But with fostering, you know that you are really doing something that is going to change someone else’s life.”

Fostering children and young people is not without its challenges, but Harriet and David can’t stress enough that it is the most rewarding thing that they have ever done. Building trust and strong bonds is a really important part of the process, and something which Harriet and David see more and more as their time with their foster children goes on. The couple recently went away for a few days, and had another foster carer stay in their home to take care of the children. Harriet said: “We were a little bit apprehensive to be leaving them for the first time, but it’s important that we still take time for ourselves, so that we can give them our best when we are all together. We left for four days, and when we came home… Everything was perfect. They had tidied up which was just lovely. We thought we were going to come back to a mess! But the best part was that even the 15 year old gave David a hug when we got back, which is something that he wouldn’t normally do. We felt like they had missed us, and that put a smile on my face.”

David contributed to this: “I was having a conversation with the middle foster child about getting older, and what age means. And I jokingly said to him that he was going to have to look after me in my old age! He looked at me so seriously, and said that he would take care of me in my old age. That was a really beautiful moment.”

When fostering, it’s important to have a good support network around you. Harriet and David have two grown up birth daughters who live locally, but no longer at home. Their youngest daughter is an approved support person, and is able to step in and help out with looking after the children so that her parents can have a break when they need it. “Even if it’s something little like going out for dinner together,” said Harriet, “it’s great to know that there is someone there to ask for help.”

Harriet and David have had a brilliant first few years fostering with Fostering People. The couple said: “We have been very fortunate with them [Fostering People], we have had a great social worker, and she has been with us the whole way through. She did our assessment and now is our supervising social worker. That support and continuity has been amazing for us as foster parents getting back into it.”

They continued: “Since we’ve come back into fostering, and have now raised our own daughters we have much more knowledge and experience. We have learnt about why children in care exhibit certain behaviours, and have done lots of training in the ‘Therapeutic Parenting’ approach to ensure that we can deal with it safely and with the children’s’ best interest in mind. It can be really hard when the children are rude to you, or they misbehave or you don’t understand where they’re coming from. But in those times we pull together, we remind ourselves why we do this and we use our training, which helps us to head off problems,

“When asked what advice they would give to those thinking about becoming foster parents, the couple answered: “Think very carefully. Talk to other people, and prepare. Make sure to talk to someone who has actually done it, or is doing it now. And talk to someone who has done it about the impact that it has. It takes over your whole life, but it gives you so much. There is nothing as rewarding as this.”

Take your first step to becoming a foster parent today

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4 reasons why we use the therapeutic fostering approach

What is therapeutic fostering?

The sad reality is that most of the children who need fostering have suffered significant trauma in their early lives, such as abuse, neglect, domestic violence or the death of a parent. We call these Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), and they can often lead to issues with a child’s emotional, social and psychological development. As such, sometimes the love and stability from a foster family isn’t enough on its own, and these children need extra support to recover from their turbulent pasts.

Part of this comes in the way of therapeutic fostering. It’s an effective, specialist approach that is committed to delivering life-changing outcomes for kids and young people. A variety of challenges can arise when you’re fostering a child with a troubled history, such as unruly behaviour, emotional instability and mental illness. Therapeutic fostering teaches us to tackle these issues through understanding the reasons behind the behaviour, rather than simply reacting to it. When a child lashes out because they lost a game, for example, it’s more often than not rooted in something deeper. Perhaps it’s because losing makes them feel like a failure, triggering emotions from their past.

Essentially, it’s about digging into the reasons why a child is behaving the way they are, and using therapeutic fostering tools to help them overcome it.

What does therapeutic fostering look like?

Therapeutic fostering is a parenting style and philosophy that has a plethora of techniques to help children make positive strides forward.

Being part of the child’s therapy plan

For some children, it might be decided as part of their individual care plan that they’ll benefit from seeing a specialist therapist. They’ll work with the child to provide professional guidance and counselling that in turn, supports the work of foster parents. Being closely ingrained the child’s therapy plan is a huge benefit as it ensures the work continues at home.

Empathising with the child

Fostering therapeutically means having empathy by the bucket-load. Listening, talking and putting yourself in the child’s shoes will enable you to understand where their emotions are rooted. Only then can you help them to explore what they’re feeling and work with them to find better coping strategies.

Looking past their behaviour

Reacting to an angry child with annoyance, impatience or frustration will never help them break their behavioural cycle. It can, in fact, make their behaviour worse. When you foster a child using the therapeutic approach, you need to see the behaviour as an indicator of something much deeper. They are trying to communicate with you but lack the tools to do so appropriately. Showing unwavering love and care no matter what they say or do will demonstrate your commitment to them and help them open up.

The PACE model

Our particular approach to therapeutic fostering is grounded in the PACE model. This stands for Play, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy. These are all vital elements in building trust and confidence within children. All of our social workers are given PACE training so they’re equipped to support our foster parents. Fostering children using this model can counter the impact of childhood trauma and help young people get their lives back on track.

4 reasons why our therapeutic fostering approach works

  1. Often, many children don’t receive therapy unless they have access to a therapist or CAMHS. (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services). This means only those children who are most in need receive 121 therapy services. At Fostering People, all our staff and foster parents receive training and support on PACE parenting, which in turn ensures all children receive therapeutic support to help with their individual trauma.
  2. We offer ‘Reflect’ groups, which enables foster parents to have therapy sessions themselves to help them process and reflect on their own experiences of parenting their foster child. This helps significantly to understand why certain behaviours are being exhibited, and provides practical solutions to help children find healthier ways to express their emotions.
  3. Therapeutic fostering is holistic in the sense that we are trying to improve a child’s psychological, emotional and behavioural development. Rather than dealing with incidents as isolated cases, we take a child’s behaviour and look at it as a whole, noticing patterns or triggers that give us insight into the child’s world.
  4. We provide all of our foster parents with training in therapeutic fostering to enable them to support children from different backgrounds. It’s a methodology that might be different to how you have parented before, but you don’t need prior experience. We’ll give you all the tools and support you need to become an amazing therapeutic foster parent.

Could you foster a child in need?

There are thousands of children who currently need the love and support of a foster parent. If you think you could give a vulnerable child the care and support they need, please get in touch with our expert team today.

Or, download our Fostering Process for Beginner’s guide for a complete overview of fostering.

Fostering People’s young people make the grade in this years exam results.

2021 Exam Results at Fostering People

Firstly, Fostering People would like to say a huge WELL DONE to each and every young person who has received exam results over the past few weeks!

Pride in our foster children at Fostering People

After a second year of facing new and difficult challenges within learning, we are so proud of everything everyone has achieved.

Leading up to results day understandably saw feelings of anxiety and tension. Young People wondering whether their grades would be fair, wondering if they had done enough throughout the year.

When results day arrived, for the most, those feelings were replaced with elation, excitement for the future and relief that this would hopefully be the last year of learning in this way.

Fostering People contacted each of our foster parents to gather the results and to find out how our young people felt.

Here are just some of the comments made by our foster parents:

“She is very happy with her results. I am so proud of her, she stayed focus and worked very hard through a difficult year to achieved excellent GCSEs results.”

“With these great results he will be able to take up his place at Stockport College. He will be studying T level construction, which is equivalent to 3 A levels. He’s over the moon with his results and being the best student the schools ever had!”

“She is really happy with the results. She’s really looking forward to September to start something new”

We have also seen some fabulous A Level Results. S and C both received excellent grades and have both been accepted to their chosen Universities in September. What a wonderful achievement!

Our foster parents birth children have also done remarkably well. Ben will be heading off to Liverpool University, Cole will be going to Leeds Beckett and Emma will be moving on to the next stage of her journey to join the Police.

The ambition some of our young people have is truly brilliant. We have children joining the Military, budding actors, hopes of becoming a forensic psychologist and young people wanting to pursue careers in therapeutic life story work based on their own positive experiences with Fostering People.

Well done to everyone and good luck for your future learning!

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