Consistently Outstanding since 2013

Understanding behaviour as communication

Fostering is both a challenging and extremely rewarding life path. Care-experienced children and young people have often experienced trauma in their early lives, which can lead to difficulties in regulating their emotions as well as some behaviours which can be tricky to manage. Let’s learn more about why it’s important to understand what a child is communicating through their behaviour.  

Childhood trauma

The myth of ‘naughty kids’ 

We live in a society where care-experienced people face a lot of prejudice, even as they leave care and enter adulthood. Some people mistakenly believe that children are taken into care because of their behaviour, a stereotype which particularly affects older children and teens in care.  

There’s a huge range of potential reasons why a child may enter the care system, none of which are their fault. Perhaps a child has lost a parent in death or has been removed from their home due to a parent’s reluctance to end a relationship with an abusive partner. They may also have faced neglect or abuse. We call these events Adverse Childhood Experiences, of ACE’s.  

ACE’s can have a huge impact on every aspect of a person’s life, including their development, behaviour and health outcomes in later life. That’s why children in care need a trauma-informed approach to parenting, which emphasises unconditional love, empathy and healing, to give them the best life outcomes possible.  

 

Now that we’ve busted some myths, let’s check out the facts… 

 

Childhood trauma impacts brain development.  

When a child is exposed to traumatic circumstances, it can impact the way their brain develops and affect the rate at which they hit normal milestones. When the brain has been in a constant state of high alertness to cope with threat, in a constant state of fight of flight, it dampens a child’s ability to develop higher skills such as regulating their emotions and being able to make safe decisions.  

Many behaviours which foster parents find concerning, such as a child withdrawing or becoming violent, are actually survival strategies which can develop during times of stress. These strategies were created by the brain in an attempt to keep the child safe during a time when there was nowhere to turn for comfort and safety. Even when a child is in a safe environment, like a foster home, it takes lots of therapeutic support and consistent loving care to develop healthier behaviours.   

Behaviour always communicates a need.

A great way of understanding behaviour is remembering that every behaviour can be read as a form of communication. Many of a child’s behaviours may be influenced by the trauma they live with— perhaps a child is feeling overstimulated and they need some space; perhaps something has triggered memories of a traumatic situation, and their body is responding as though they are once again under threat.  

However your foster child reacts when feeling dysregulated, they’re unlikely to have learned the ability to regulate their emotions without an adult for support. This means they’ll need you by their side in order to return to a calm, happy state. Let’s learn more about the importance of co-regulation, and how it can support children to learn to manage their own behaviour independently.  

Co-regulation strategies to practice with your foster child 

One of the biggest ways you can support a child in moments where their behaviour is challenging is by building a safe and trusting relationship with them over time. This allows them to explore, build resilience and develop healthier coping mechanisms when they’re feeling upset or unsafe. Here are 3 tips for effective co-regulation with your foster child.  

  • Regulate, relate, reason. The Sequence of Engagement, developed by Dr. Bruce Perry, teaches us the order in which to engage a child who is struggling to handle big emotions. We start with regulation, which means to help the child calm their body and nervous system first— breathing exercises such as bubble breathing or finger breathing are great for this! Relating is the next step, where we connect emotionally through active listening and empathy. Reasoning and reflection comes last, where you can discuss what happened and find ways to help prevent a child’s behaviour from escalating in the future.  
  • Engage, don’t enrage. When a child is dysregulated, it can be easy to slip into a power struggle rather than truly addressing the heart of a given issue. The ‘engage, don’t enrage’ strategy reminds us to address behaviour in a mindful way which won’t add even more stress to the child. It also reminds caregivers of the importance of treating difficult situations as you and your foster child vs the problem, rather than the two of you becoming upset with one another.  
  • Be patient. Helping your foster child to learn to regulate their emotions won’t be a linear journey, nor will it be a swift road to success. You’ll need to be patient and consistent in order to see results. By engaging with our therapeutic training, role modelling healthy behaviours and always being a pillar of support for your foster child, you can help them to begin to see the world as a safer, more nurturing place and can teach them the skills to better manage their emotions.  

Recommended resources for trauma-informed foster parents 

Ready to learn more? Check out the links below for some fantastic resources to help you better understand and manage a child’s behaviour.  

  • The UK Trauma Council have produced a fantastic animation explaining the impact of childhood trauma on the brain. It’s a fantastic resource for foster parents, showing in simple terms how trauma can make even a safe place feel scary. 
  • If you’re interested in a deeper look at how trauma impacts children, check out our guide to developmental trauma and its impact on the brain.  

Could you help change a child’s life? 

If you’ve ever thought about fostering, there’s no better time than now to get started on this life changing journey. Here at Fostering People you will benefit from the holistic support of a vast range of professionals, and you will never feel alone when challenges arise. Learn more about our support for foster parents by getting in touch with our team today.  

Understanding behaviour as communication

The Impact of Trauma on Child Brain Development

Many care-experienced children deal with the impact of trauma in their day-to-day lives. Let’s learn how trauma can influence a child’s development, and how therapeutic parenting techniques can support children to heal. 

Understanding developmental trauma

Imaging that you’re walking in the park one day when you spot a large dog. The dog isn’t on a lead, and its owner is nowhere to be seen. Its ears flatten tightly against its head as it flashes rows of sharp teeth, beginning to growl. Sensing that there’s danger, your body begins to react: your heartrate increases, you become more alert and your muscles tense. Your body releases stress hormones as it prepares to react to the threat through fight or flight. 

For children who have experienced trauma, those stress responses don’t just happen in the face of genuine danger, like an aggressive dog. Many care-experienced people live with complex developmental trauma, which means that they have been repeatedly exposed as a child to stressful circumstances. There are many circumstances which can cause a child to live with trauma, including: 

  • Being removed from their family home 
  • Facing neglect or abuse 
  • Losing a loved one in death 
  • Witnessing domestic violence 
  • Living with a parent with an unmanaged mental illness 
  • Having a family member go to prison 
  • Living though parental separation 
Understanding developmental trauma

Trauma, the body and the brain

Trauma is the long-lasting response which we can have to being exposed to something incredibly distressing. We can experience the effects of trauma at any age, but when it’s experienced in childhood, it can have a huge impact on development. Even a foetus in the womb can experience trauma if their mother is exposed to high levels of stress, such as through experiencing addiction or domestic violence. Even if a child is too young to remember traumatic experiences, their body will remember. Their negative experiences may impact how their brain develops, their behaviours and when they reach developmental milestones.  

Repeated exposure to traumatic circumstances wires the brain and the nervous system to live in a world of constant threat, where survival and safety are the only things which matter. When living in a constant state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn, the brain has less room to flourish, dampening its ability to develop higher skills like strong self-esteem, good social skills, impulse control and a child’s ability to regulate their emotions without help from adults. 

Building safety through trusting relationships

As challenging as these adaptions can be for children and those who care for them, it’s important to remember that the brain has adapted this way as a means of protecting the child. Childhood trauma is often the result of poor-quality relationships with adults, and many of the effects of trauma can be healed by building nurturing and loving connections with safe adults. 

This healing doesn’t happen magically overnight, though. When a child has learned that the world is unsafe and that the adults in their life can’t be trusted to fill their needs or protect them from harm, they cannot simply ‘switch off’ their trauma responses when living in a safe environment such as a foster home. Children who have been removed from unsafe situations may perceive everyday situations as threatening, and their behaviour may seem overly reactive to the world around them. 

Therapeutic parenting methods that work

Each child’s healing journey is a long road, and it takes a lot of patience, empathy and therapeutic guidance for children to heal and build trusting relationships with others. Thanks to the wonders of neuroplasticity— the brain’s ability to form new neural connections— there is plenty of hope for recovery and healing, and children can learn to respond to the world in a healthier way and see it as a safer place. 

Foster parents can help children to build these new neural pathways by using theraputic parenting techniques. We teach these skills in our mandatory training, where you’ll learn that many common parenting techniques, such as time-outs and the naughty step, can do more harm than good for a child who has experienced trauma. This is because these methods rely on the assumption that the child understands that their relationship with their caregiver is built on a solid foundation, which is not always the case for children in care. 

Let’s take a look at an example of how two very different children might react to the same consequence for their behaviour, and how therapeutic parenting can help to support a child who lives with trauma when challenges arise. 

 

Scenario: After hitting their sibling in order to snatch a toy, the child is told to go to their bedroom for ten minutes of time-out. 

 

Child A: Child A is living at home with their family. They have a secure attachment to their caregiver, and understand that being sent to their room is only a temporary measure. Having had a healthy environment in which to grow, where they know that they are loved and safe even when their behaviour is being addressed, this method is appropriate for teaching them that being unkind to their sibling is wrong and will lead to them missing out on fun time with the family. They are able to learn from this experience and avoid the behaviour in future, and are able to seek comfort from their caregiver in the aftermath.  

Child B: Child B has recently moved into a new foster home. When they were living back at home with their family, they faced neglect and would spend hours locked in their bedroom with no interaction or anyone to comfort them. By using alone time in their bedroom as punishment, the child is experiencing retraumaziation. They do not know how long they will be left alone and cannot trust that their foster parent will come back for them. As trauma has impacted their brain development, they haven’t yet learned to regulate their emotions alone, and thus cannot soothe themselves without their foster parent’s support. No lessons are learned; instead, their emotional state becomes more unmanaged and their relationship with their foster parent may be damaged due to feelings of insecurity and abandonment.  

An alternative approach for child B: Foster parents can help the children in their care to avoid distressing situations like these by using the ‘time in’ method instead of the ‘time out’ method. ‘Time in’ prioritises staying close with your young person during difficult moments to help them regulate their emotions in a safe way.  

Boost your skills with Fostering People

The above example looks at just one of the many different therapeutic parenting approaches which you’ll learn about when you foster with us. We run a comprehensive programme of training covering a huge range of specialist subjects, including the P.A.C.E model. You’ll also have the opportunity to pick and choose from a range of courses which are designed to broaden your understanding of the needs of your foster children. 

Therapeutic parenting may feel strange at first, particularly if you’ve brought your own children up in a more traditional way or if it seems very different to the way you were raised.  It takes time to study and master, but once you begin using therapeutic parenting techniques you’ll see just how beneficial they can be for children who have experienced trauma.  

 

Ready to learn more?  

Here at Fostering People, we’re always ready to welcome more caring and passionate individuals who see a future in caring for children. When you foster with us you’ll receive a whole range of support, including specialist advice and a generous fostering allowance.  

If you’re ready to begin the journey of a lifetime, contact our team today on 0800 077 8159 or via our quick and easy online form— we’re waiting to hear from you! 

 

Recommended reading for foster parents 

Check out some of our favourite books which discuss therapeutic parenting strategies in more detail, to help you understand the importance of a therapeutic approach for children who live with the impact of trauma. 

  • ‘Creating Loving Attachments: Parenting with P.A.C.E to Nurture Confidence and Security in the Troubled Child’ by Dr. Dan Hughes and Kim Golding 

  • ‘The Body Keeps the Score’ by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk 

  • ‘The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog’ by Bruce D. Perry and Maia Szalavitz 

  • ‘The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting: Strategies and Solutions’ by Sarah Naish 

Steve’s fostering story

One dad is changing outcomes for future generations through the power of foster care.

After a 30-year career in retail, Steve’s fostering story began, alongside his wife Tina, they decided to foster children who needed a loving and stable home after realising ‘what’s important’ in life.

In his youth Steve was convinced he was going to be a millionaire and spent his career chasing success and professional progress, but that all changed when he learnt about the shortage of foster parents in Liverpool and the incredible impact fostering can have.

Initially Steve and Tina planned on being respite foster parents providing breaks for full-time foster parents, but were so moved by the children they decided to foster full time. Tina works full time while Steve is the primary foster parent, and they foster two siblings aged nine and 12 with Fostering People.

Steve said: “When they first arrived, the youngest really struggled with emotional regulation—his anger would flare up in an instant, and bedtime was a nightly battle. But through patience, routine, and unwavering support, he’s now a confident, articulate boy who is thriving in school.”

Fostering has not only transformed the children’s lives but has also changed Steve, he said: “I spent so many years focused on making money, but this—this is what truly matters. It’s about giving back, creating stability, and shaping the future for these kids. It’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

For Steve, fostering is about the bigger picture, not just the impact his care has today, he said: “You’re not just changing one child’s life—you’re changing an entire future, their family, their opportunities. That impact lasts for generations.

“To me, fostering isn’t just about giving a child a roof over their head. It’s about reprogramming years of trauma, teaching them how to trust, how to love, how to believe in themselves. I believe there is nothing more special or fulfilling than that, we just need more people to realise they can do the same.”

More foster parents are needed.

Now, Steve wants to raise awareness about the urgent need for more foster parents, he said: “This is not a temporary commitment—it’s life-changing. We need more people to step up and see fostering as the professional vocation that it is. It’s not just about changing a child’s life; it’s about reshaping entire futures.”
Foster parents receive full training before welcoming children into their home and have the support of a supervising social worker and ongoing courses to keep them up-to-date on best practice.

Take your first step to becoming a foster parent today

If you’re interested in becoming a foster parent and would like to learn more, then we’d love to hear from you.

Simply fill in the form below and one of our friendly team will be in touch.

Enquiry

Are you happy to receive regular fostering news from us?*
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form

Please make sure you read our terms and conditions because you’re agreeing to them by submitting an enquiry. It’s also worth reading our privacy notice and cookies policy so you understand how we collect and use your personal data. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

PACE Parenting: strategies that work

Parenting and fostering are similar, but one of the main differences is the type of parenting you use to help them navigate the world. For children in care who are living with trauma, traditional parenting techniques often fall short of their needs and can sometimes make things worse.

That’s where PACE therapeutic parenting comes in. PACE is about creating a nurturing and healing environment where children feel safe enough to be themselves and are loved unconditionally, both on their good and bad days.

In this blog, we take a deeper look at PACE parenting, including what it means, why it works, and how you can use it to truly make a difference in the lives of the children you foster.

What is the PACE approach to parenting?

PACE is a therapeutic parenting approach developed by Dan Huges, a clinical psychologist who specialises in childhood trauma. He recognised that children living with the weight of adverse childhood experiences (ACES) need to be cared for in a different way, with a focus on building strong and trusting relationships.

These relationships are at the heart of helping children heal from their trauma. They give children a secure base to make sense of their experiences, understand their triggers, and find new ways to cope with their thoughts and feelings. When children know they have someone to lean on, rely on and trust, it builds the resilience and confidence they need to explore the world and look towards a more hopeful future.

PACE, which stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy, creates a supportive and nurturing environment where children feel understood, valued, and heard. As a foster parent, using PACE can help you look beyond behaviour to understand what’s really upsetting or triggering a child. You can then coach them through emotions they may not have the words for yet and help them feel safe enough to open up about what’s really going on inside.

The PACE parenting model

Here is a breakdown of the four principles of PACE and the strategies within each element that you can use to support a child. When combined, they can help you build a connection with the children in your care and diffuse tension in difficult situations.

Playfulness

Playfulness means parenting in a light-hearted way by bringing joy, humour and a little silliness into everyday moments. You probably use playfulness in some of your relationships already – maybe you’ve got a running joke with a friend or send funny videos to your partner when they’re having a tough day. These seemingly small things show that you care and provide them with the emotional safety to be themselves around you.

It’s just the same for the children you foster. When you’re relaxed and enjoying yourself in their company, it helps them feel safe enough to do the same. When you laugh or smile with them, they see that you enjoy being around them, which boosts their self-esteem while strengthening your bond.

How to use playfulness

You could see playfulness as being in touch with your inner child and finding joy in the small things around you. Here are some examples of playfulness strategies that can help you connect and manage tricky situations:

  • If it’s a rainy day, you could go outside and jump in puddles together or have a race to see who can find the biggest puddle first.
  • If you’re on a long car journey, you could make up a game or create a silly song about the trip together.
  • If your foster child struggles to name their emotions, you could turn them into characters, giving them names that are easy to remember, such as Sally the sad sausage or Alfie the angry ant. This way, when they start to feel that emotion, they may find it easier to associate it with the character you’ve created together.
  • If the child in your care doesn’t want to go to bed, you could build a fort together or make up a song about bedtime that makes it feel fun and something to look forward to.
  • You could turn chores into a challenge, such as who can rake the biggest pile of leaves or put away their clothes the fastest.

Top tip: Pick your moment carefully. If a child’s very upset, trying to laugh and joke might make them feel unheard or misunderstood. In those moments, get down to their level and gently explore their feelings instead.

Acceptance

Everyone wants to feel like they are accepted and loved unconditionally – even if a bad day means you’re a bit grumpy. It’s the same for children in care, but sadly, they may have never experienced this sort of relationship before. They may have been punished or shamed for showing their feelings and might worry that you’ll leave them if they don’t behave in a certain way.

Acceptance is about validating the way a child feels and helping them find new ways to manage their emotions. It means separating a child from their behaviour and letting them know that although you may not like what they’ve done, you’ll always love and care about them.

How to show acceptance

When emotions are running high, it can be challenging to separate a child from their actions, but this is key to helping them feel safe and secure. They need to know that their behaviour won’t change the way you feel about them. You can show them this by:

  • Slowing down the conversation and giving them enough time to respond to your questions about what happened.
  • Staying calm and using a soft tone while getting down to their level when they’re upset.
  • Offering them a hug if they’re comfortable with it or sitting nearby so they know you still want to be around them.
  • Acknowledging their feelings without judgement by saying things like, ‘You seem really upset, and that’s okay. Let’s talk about what’s made you feel this way.’
  • Reassuring them that it’s normal to have tricky feelings sometimes. For example, if they’ve had an argument at school, you could say, ‘That must have been frustrating. I get frustrated sometimes too.’
  • Validating their emotions while helping them find a new way to cope in the future. For example, if they hit someone at school because they took their pen, you could say, ‘I can see why you’re upset – it doesn’t feel very nice when people take your things. But hitting isn’t okay. Let’s think about what you could do the next time you feel like this. Maybe you could take a few deep breaths or tell a teacher. If it happens at home, we could go outside and stomp around until you feel calmer.’

Top tip: Acceptance isn’t about ignoring challenging behaviour. It’s about letting a child know that you won’t reject or abandon them when they’re having a bad day. Instead, you’ll stay by their side and help them find healthier ways to manage their emotions.

Curiosity

When you’re experiencing intense emotions but still have to get on with daily life, no matter how hard you try, it’s likely that your body language, tone of voice, and behaviour will show the people closest to you how you’re really feeling.

It’s the same for children in your care. Behaviour is a form of communication, especially for children living with trauma who don’t yet feel safe enough to share their thoughts and feelings or simply can’t find the words for their emotions.

To understand what they’re trying to tell you, you need to be curious. Curiosity is about pausing and wondering why they’re acting in a certain way without jumping to conclusions.

When you show curiosity about how a child is feeling, it helps them feel valued, heard, and understood because you’re taking the time to see the world through their eyes.

How to be curious

When a child doesn’t feel able to open up about what’s happened to them or how they’re feeling, it can be frustrating because all you want to do is help. But with a bit of observation and curiosity, you’ll start to notice patterns and begin to understand a child’s triggers.

Here are a few ways to show curiosity:

  • If your foster child struggles to answer direct questions, take the pressure off the conversation by wondering aloud instead. For example, if they took something out of another child’s lunchbox, you could say, ‘I wonder if you took that sandwich because you’re worried about not having enough food. We always have food available, so if you feel hungry, just let me know.’
  • If you notice something about their behaviour and want to ask them about it, you could say, ‘I noticed you seem a bit upset today. I wonder if something happened to make you feel this way?’
  • If you spot a pattern or trigger, gently wonder about it with them. For example, ‘I’ve noticed that you often feel a bit overwhelmed when we go to the supermarket. Maybe it’s a bit loud and busy in there for you.’
  • Be curious about your own emotions to help them make the connection between feelings and behaviour. You might say, ‘I feel a bit grumpy today – maybe it’s because I didn’t get enough sleep.’
  • If they don’t want to talk, let them know that you’ll offer a listening ear when they’re ready.

Top tip: Curiosity is about gently decoding a child’s behaviour so you can better support them. It’s not a quick-fix solution – it takes time, trust and patience to build a clear picture of what’s really going on.

Empathy

Sometimes life is hard, but when someone shows us that they ‘get it’, it brings comfort, helps us feel less alone and connects us to those around us.

Empathy is all about seeing things through your child’s eyes and showing them that you understand where they’re coming from. It means holding their hand when they struggle to cope with their trauma and working through their emotions together.

How to show empathy

When a child sees that you understand and accept their feelings, it can help them feel less alone and more able to open up about their inner world. As a foster parent, empathy probably comes naturally to you already, but here are a few tips that can help:

  • Listen, not just with your ears, but with open body language, eye contact and without distractions. Let them have the floor, and when you speak, try not to take over the conversation.
  • Help them name their feelings by saying them out loud or using visual aids, such as emotion worksheets or toys.
  • Try to match their energy. For example, if they seem low, use a soft tone rather than a cheerful one.
  • Help them feel safe by sitting next to them or offering them an item that brings them comfort, like their favourite toy or blanket.
  • Be honest about your emotions so your child knows they’re not alone in their feelings. For example, if a child is nervous about starting school, you might say, ‘I get nervous too sometimes.’

Top tip: Showing empathy doesn’t mean trying to fix the way a child feels – it’s about consistently being there for them through their struggles. Knowing they can talk to you about their feelings helps build trust, confidence, and the resilience they need to face life’s challenges.

PACE training for parents

When you join Fostering People, you become part of a community that truly understands the impact of adverse childhood experiences on the long-term outcomes for children in care.

That’s why, as part of your foster parent training, we’ll teach you how to put PACE model parenting into practice. You’ll also learn about the effects of trauma on child brain development, behaviour, attachment, and more so you know how to fully support children in your care.

We’ll be by your side, providing you with 24/7 support. From our dedicated professional teams and regular supervision to our support groups and activities for the whole family, you’ll never feel alone on your fostering journey.

So, if you’re ready to change a child’s life by providing therapeutic foster care, we’d love to hear from you! Call us on 0800 077 8159 or submit an online enquiry form, and one of our experienced team will contact you.

Why Therapeutic Fostering Matters

Foster partent showing Therapeutic Fostering

Many children in care have experienced adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). These experiences often leave a deep imprint that affects the way they see the world and cope with daily life; this is called trauma.

Therapeutic foster parents provide the guidance, empathy, and understanding that children and young people need to recover from their trauma. Join us as we explore therapeutic foster care in more detail. Find out what it means, how it’s applied, and the transformative effect it can have on children and young people in care.

What is therapeutic foster care?

At Fostering People, many children in our care have endured abuse, neglect, or other challenging experiences in their early lives.

When children move into a safe, stable and nurturing foster home, these experiences don’t just disappear from their memories. They stay with them, affecting their emotions, behaviour, relationships, and development. Trauma can also have a lifelong impact on their physical and mental well-being, influencing the way they navigate the world now and in adulthood.

Understanding trauma

When foster parents don’t understand trauma and the impact it has on every aspect of a child’s life, they may find a child’s behaviour confusing and overlook the root cause. As a result, these children won’t receive the guidance, understanding, and sense of emotional safety they need to heal.

That’s why therapeutic foster care is so important. It doesn’t stick a plaster on trauma – it addresses the challenges faced by children and young people in care and guides them on their healing journey.

Therapeutic foster parents provide nurturing homes of compassion and understanding, collaborating with trauma-informed fostering professionals to ensure their child’s entire well-being is cared for.

By providing this foundation of therapeutic support, we help children recover from their experiences, build positive relationships, manage their emotions, and begin to rebuild their lives.

What is a therapeutic approach?

Therapeutic foster parents are trauma-informed, recognising the impact trauma can have on a child’s behaviour, relationships, emotions, and development. When you foster with Fostering People, you’ll apply a therapeutic parenting approach, which includes:

Building a secure relationship

An essential part of a therapeutic approach to fostering is building a secure relationship with the child in your care. Children in care have often been let down by those they’ve trusted most, making it difficult for them to trust adults or believe that anyone has their best interests at heart.

Trust is at the core of every secure relationship. So, the child in your care needs to know that you’ll consistently show up for them and do what you say you’ll do. It also means providing them with a safe space to share their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or retribution, helping them to feel valued and heard.

Looking beyond behaviour

Another key feature of therapeutic fostering is viewing behaviour as a form of communication. Many children in care struggle to articulate their thoughts and feelings, so their behaviour becomes a window into their inner world and past experiences instead.

During prolonged abuse and neglect, children often develop coping mechanisms to survive painful experiences. Trauma can also physically alter the brain as it adapts to survive in a threatening environment. This changes the way they behave and interact with other people.

When children move into care, they may continue to use these survival behaviours without even realising it because they’ve become so deep-rooted.

What is their behaviour telling me?

An example of a survival mechanism children may use is hypervigilance. Hypervigilant children are always on high alert, scanning their surroundings and absorbing sensory information to check for danger.

Although this may have helped them stay safe in the past, it can make day-to-day life difficult for them when they move into care. They may become overstimulated in particular environments, such as school, and interpret ordinary interactions as a potential threat. This can trigger their fight-or-flight response, affecting their behaviour as they react to the perceived danger.

At Fostering People, we teach you to look at behaviour through a therapeutic lens. By paying attention and looking for patterns in a child’s behaviour, you gain a deeper understanding of their triggers. You can then support them in developing new ways of responding now they’re in a safe, stable, and nurturing home.

Always learning and adapting

A therapeutic approach to fostering isn’t a quick-fix solution. Foster parents who use this approach are on a continuous learning journey, adapting to the child or young person’s ever-changing needs.

At Fostering People, we make accessing therapeutic foster care training easy, offering a wide range of virtual and face-to-face training courses. When you join us, you’ll learn more about attachment theory and therapeutic parenting, and as time goes on, you’ll be able to access training specific to the needs of the child in your care.

All our foster parents receive training on PACE parenting, a therapeutic approach that stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy. PACE teaches you how to therapeutically interact with the child in your care, helping them build a positive attachment with you. By consistently using the principles of PACE, you can support children in learning new, healthier ways of coping with distressing thoughts and emotions.

Working with other fostering professionals

Part of a therapeutic approach to fostering is recognising when you need support. Sometimes, children in foster care need therapeutic intervention, and when fostering teenagers, you may need help to support them through this turbulent time in their lives.

Therapeutic fostering is a team effort, and at Fostering People, our support for foster parents and children means you are never alone. From regular meetings with your supervising social worker to dedicated support groups for new foster parents, our close-knit, supportive community will help you feel at home.

We’re here for you 24/7, and you’ll collaborate with our professional teams to help the child in your care thrive. We also organise local activities and events for the whole family to enjoy, giving every family member the opportunity to relax, make friends, and have fun.

Improving the outcomes of children in care

Children in care need more than just physical safety. They need adults to build them up and to show them that their past doesn’t have to dictate their future. They need to experience positive relationships that help them trust again and show them that the world isn’t as scary as they may have once thought.

Therapeutic foster parents play a vital role in this process. By providing children with a sense of belonging, stability, and a space to heal and grow, they help pave the way for brighter, happier, and more fulfilling futures for children in care.

 

Want to learn more about becoming a therapeutic foster parent? Call us on 0800 077 8159 or fill in our online enquiry form and a member of our friendly team will be in touch.

Can I Foster if my Child has Additional Needs

If you have a child with additional needs, such as complex physical or mental health needs or a neurological disorder like Autism or ADHD, you may be wondering what it would be like to foster as a family.

Many people choose to foster alongside raising their own children, but things can be a little more complicated if your own child has additional needs. Read on to help you decide if fostering is right for your family at this time.

Is my child ready to foster?

Fostering is a huge decision, and it becomes even bigger when you have your own children to think about. The answer as to whether you’ll be able to foster while caring for your own child isn’t as simple as a blanket ‘yes’ or ‘no’— instead, the answer will depend entirely upon your family’s unique needs.

Every child with additional needs is different, and only you will know your child best. In your role as a foster parent, you must be able to fully meet the needs of both your own children and your foster children. When you get in touch with us, our team will work with you to help you decide if you’re ready to welcome another child into your home.

Enquire Now
COULD I FOSTER?

Things to consider…

When deciding whether or not fostering is right for you, ask yourself…

  • Can I accommodate all of my child’s needs while fostering?
  • Can I accommodate all of my foster child’s needs while fostering?
  • Can I foster while still taking good care of my physical, mental and emotional health?

Let’s take a look at each of these considerations in a bit more detail.

  1. The needs of your child

Fostering will have an impact on your entire household, and it’s important that it’s the right choice for every member of your family. Your first responsibility will always be to the children already living in your home, which is why you need to carefully consider your child’s needs before deciding to foster.

Living with a foster sibling comes with amazing benefits such as providing children with companionship and helping them to build empathy skills, but it also comes with its challenges. These can include:

  • Adjusting to the change of having a new sibling
  • Struggles with sibling jealousy
  • Learning to share their space, belongings and their time with you
  • Mimicking their foster sibling’s behaviours
  • Dealing with loss if their sibling returns home to their family or moves on

Not all children with additional needs will be able to thrive while their family fosters, and that is perfectly okay. Carefully consider your child’s needs and, if possible, involve them in the decision. Learn more about how fostering might impact your own children.

  1. The needs of the children you’ll foster

It is equally as important to carefully consider the needs of the children you’ll be welcoming into your home. Many children who need foster homes will have experienced multiple challenges in their young lives, such as being separated from their loved ones or facing neglect or abuse. These experiences, known as Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACE’s, may lead to trauma.

Children who live with the effects of trauma will need more support, time and attention than is usual in order to thrive. As a foster parent, you will need to balance meeting the needs of your foster child with your own child’s needs in order to create a safe and harmonious home environment for everyone. We’ll support you in this, and you’ll receive specialist training on how to provide therapeutic fostering to the children you care for.

  1. Your personal needs and strengths

Fostering is a wholly selfless act, but in order to give the best to the children in your care you’ll need to pay close attention to your own needs, too. To foster successfully without spreading yourself too thin, you’ll need to be honest with yourself and your family about what you can handle and what challenges fostering might bring. Ask yourself:

  • How will fostering while caring for my own child’s support needs impact my physical and mental wellbeing, and that of my family members?
  • Do I have a great support system who I can rely on? (Including family members, friends, or a partner)
  • Will I have enough time and energy to give my all to the children in my home? (Remember: on top of your usual responsibilities with your own child, you’ll need to fulfil regular commitments with your foster child, including attending meetings and appointments, getting them to school and taking them to visit their birth family.)

The types of foster care which you’re interested in offering will also influence how successful you’ll be in balancing fostering while caring for a child with additional needs. For example, if your neurodiverse child struggles with changes in their routine, emergency fostering, where children arrive with short notice and only stay for short periods of time, may be challenging. However, they might thrive while living with a foster sibling who is in a long-term placement, meaning that they will stay in your family home until they turn 18.

Being the parent to a disabled or neurodiverse child will mean that you have plenty of transferrable skills which could make you an incredible candidate to care for other children with complex needs. For example, if you have a child with ASD, you might thrive while fostering an autistic child alongside your own children.

Learn more about fostering a child with a disability or download our click below to download our free guide ‘Disability and Mental Health: A Foster Parent’s Guide to Complex Needs.’

DOWNLOAD OUR GUIDE
FOSTERING A CHILD WITH AUTISM

How we’ll support you

Fostering when you have a child with additional needs requires support, and that’s why you can always rely on our team here at Fostering People. When you get in touch with us our team will asses your family’s unique needs to ensure that you’re ready to foster, taking everything which we’ve discussed above into account.

We’ll support you through your fostering journey in a wide variety of ways, including:

  • We’ll use a careful matching process to ensure that we find a great dynamic between the children in your home.
  • We offer 14 nights of respite care to all of our foster parents so that you can rest and recharge.
  • You’ll receive a generous fostering allowance.
  • We offer ample training opportunities where you can learn about all sorts of subjects including supporting neurodiverse children and sibling relationships.
  • We’ll provide you with plenty of guidance via our 24/7 helpline, our local support groups and sessions with your personal supervising social worker.

Learn more about the vast range of support we offer.

Support for your children 

Here at Fostering People we offer lots of support for our young people, designed to meet the needs of both your children and the children you’ll welcome into your home. Some of this support includes:

  • Specialist support for children with autism
  • A children’s council who have their say in how we do things here at Fostering People
  • Regular fun and free family events, tailored to support your child’s needs
  • Therapeutic and educational support for foster children

Is your family ready to foster? 

There are many children across the UK right now who are in need of stable, loving family homes. If you’re interested in opening your home to a child and learning more about what it takes to become a foster family, contact our team on 0800 3698512 or by filling in our enquiry form.

Playful Parenting: Putting P.A.C.E Strategies into Action

Here at Fostering People we utilise the P.A.C.E parenting model, a trauma-informed parenting approach comprised of four key characteristics which you can use to help children navigate their emotions; playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy.

Let’s take a look at the first P.A.C.E strategy in a little more detail and discover how you can start incorporating playful parenting tips into day-to-day life with your foster child.

The importance of play

Play is not just about having fun; it’s a crucial part of every child’s development and is seen across many species. As Professor Carla Rinaldi said, “Play and learning are like the two wings of a butterfly— one cannot exist without the other.” In humans, play supports us to understand the world around us, make new social connections and develop key skills such as fine motor skills and executive function. Different styles of play, such as imaginative play and rule-based games, help children’s development in different areas.

Playfulness in P.A.C.E

Being playful in your parenting style isn’t about being happy and positive all the time, and it certainly isn’t about joking around when a child is upset or teasing them. Instead, playful parenting aims to create a light and positive atmosphere where your child feels free to be completely themselves and where they know that they are safe. Dr. Dan Hughes, the founder of Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy and the P.A.C.E model, defines playfulness in parenting as:

“It’s about enjoying the relationship. That’s where the ‘P’ in P.A.C.E really manifests itself. The playfulness is an enjoyment of the child in the relationship.”

Being playful with your children shows them that you are comfortable and relaxed in their presence, and that you enjoy being around them. Having an adult who truly engages can be life-changing in helping a child to heal from trauma and begin building deep, healthy connections with the people in their lives.

Let’s explore some playful P.A.C.E strategies which can help you to foster therapeutically.

3 Playful P.A.C.E strategies for young children

  1. Use a light and friendly communication style. Taking a gentle, friendly approach to daily life can help your little ones to feel at ease. Use a gentle tone of voice and get down onto their level when speaking with them. Be mindful of your facial expressions and body language; things like frowning or having your arms crossed may make you appear threatening. Don’t be afraid to be silly, which can diffuse tension and provide plenty of opportunities for fun and laughter together. Try to keep your interactions positive and fun wherever appropriate, and use active listening techniques such as reflecting back what has been said to you and asking open questions to get the most out of your chats together.
  2. Take joy in the world around you. Show your child that the world can be a safe and welcoming place for them by taking the time to highlight the wonderful things which we can easily take for granted, by finding fun in the mundane. A bit of imagination and a playful spirit can transform even something as everyday as the school run; perhaps you could challenge your little one to listen out for birds and see who’s best at imitating their calls, or bring their wellies along at pick up time so that you can enjoy splashing in puddles together on the walk home!
  3. Use play to explore emotions. For some children who have experienced trauma, putting a name to emotions and empathising with others can be challenging. One great way to help teach these skills is through imaginative play. This could be by roleplaying scenarios with toys during playtime, or by pausing while reading a story book to talk about how the characters are feeling.

You can also utilise this technique when watching TV or YouTube together by reflecting on character interactions at the end of an episode. For example, in this adorable scene from the popular cartoon Bluey, Bluey and her younger sister spend so much time squabbling over not wanting to share their desserts that their delicious ice-creams melt in the sun. By asking open questions such as, ‘how do you think Bluey felt when she saw that her ice cream had melted?’ or ‘why do you think Bluey’s dad decided to share his own ice cream?’ you can help your little one to start naming emotions and build empathy skills.

3 Playful parenting strategies for older children and teenagers

Though being playful may look different for older children, it’s just as important. Let’s look at 3 playful parenting strategies which work great for older kids.

  1. Find a hobby which you can share. Whether it’s gaming nights, cooking together or a shared love of sport, shared hobbies are great for building bonds. Try to find a hobby which prioritises your teen’s interests over your own, and don’t be afraid to try something new— maybe they would love for you to help them create a home-made costume to show off at a comic con, or would love to see you get involved in another unusual activity like roller-derby or Geocaching!Showing your young person that you really care about their interests by trying something new and getting a little out of your comfort zone can really help the two of you to bond. Keep things friendly if you’re doing something competitive.  Remember that your focus should always be on enjoying the process together rather than trying to be the best at a sport or having a perfect end product with creative hobbies like art or baking. Volunteering together in your community is also a fantastic way to help others while helping your teen to build confidence, social skills and empathy.
  2. Get your teen involved and ‘gamify’ everyday tasks. Getting your young person involved in suitable household tasks is a great opportunity to spend time together while teaching them the skills they’ll need to become independent and responsible adults. Asking your teenager to help out also shows them that they’re a valued member of your family with a part to play.Even mundane tasks can be tuned into great opportunities to bond when we sprinkle in a little playfulness. You can incorporate playfulness in a myriad of different ways during everyday chores and interactions, such as by turning on some music you both love to sing along to while washing up or by starting a water fight while washing the car together on a sunny day. Learn more about how to build a strong bond with the teens in your care.
  3. Allow them to be children. Remember, though it’s easy to forget at times, our teenagers are still children. Some children may need time and encouragement to behave like children again if they have experienced Parentification. They may also at times act much younger than you might expect. If you spot behaviours in your teen which seem unusual for their age, these may be a result of how trauma has influenced their maturation and brain development.Rather than berating them by demanding that they ‘act their age,’ it’s important to recognise that they may be at a different level developmentally and may need a different approach to support. Many children who have experience of being in care have also missed out on much of the fun and freedom of childhood, so make an effort to encourage them to express themselves and act childlike where appropriate and join in with their joy.

Playful parenting resources

Can’t get enough of our playful parenting tips? Check out some of our recommended resources below for more ideas on how you can incorporate playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy into your families’ everyday life.

  • ‘The P in P.A.C.E,’ a brilliant article by Dr Chris Moore, educational psychologist
  • Our blog on understanding the unseen effects of childhood trauma
  • Dr Dan Hughes’ website, where you can learn more about playful parenting directly from the creator of P.A.C.E
  • Watch the still face experiment, which shows just how much of an impact play has on parent and child interactions
  • This article from The Marbles Kids Museum, which suggests a bunch of fun and playful parenting strategies for kids of all ages

Applying P.A.C.E in daily life

Using the P.A.C.E approach helps to teach your foster child that you are an adult to be relied upon, who cares deeply about their wellbeing and emotions and who will be there to support them through whatever challenges they may face. You’ll learn more about the 4 P.A.C.E strategies during your training with us as we prepare you to become a new foster parent.

Ready to learn more about what it takes to become a foster parent? Our team here at Fostering People would love to hear from you. Enquire with us today to get started on your journey towards changing the lives of children or learn more about the support we offer to our foster parents. 

How to talk to your family and friends about becoming a foster parent

I want to become a foster parent—what’s next?

Everyone can apply to foster, whether single or in a relationship, providing that you are over 21, have a suitable spare room in your home, the right to work in the UK and have the right personal qualities.

If you’re thinking of becoming a foster parent, it’s important to discuss your decision with the important people in your life. Talking to your loved about fostering for the first time can seem a little daunting; perhaps you’re worried that your partner might dismiss the idea straight away, or that your friends, parents or grown-up children may question your choice.

Challenging common misconceptions about fostering

When you first talk to your extended family and friends about your dream to foster, you may not get the enthusiastic reaction you would hope for. If this happens, try not to take it to heart. There are lots of myths and stereotypes around fostering, which can be dispelled with a friendly, informative chat.

Questions and concerns often come from a place of care, not judgement. Let’s take a look at some of the common misconceptions people may have when you express your interest in fostering, and ways you can put their mind at ease.

‘How will you support yourself financially with a foster child at home?”

Contrary to what people sometimes believe, every foster parent in the UK is paid for their good work. Here at Fostering People we offer a generous allowance to cover the needs of the child you’ll care for, with a secondary payment for you as a thank you for your hard work.

Learn how much you could earn while fostering by trying out our fostering finances calculator.

“I’ve heard that children who need foster homes are badly behaved.”

This is a painful and harmful stereotype which is sadly very prevalent in our society. No two children are the same, and like any other child, children who have experienced the care system need love, care and a safe home to thrive and reach their full potential.

As a foster parent, it will be your job to fulfil these needs, and you’ll have the unique privilege of helping to transform children’s lives. Many children in foster care will have experienced trauma as a result of their early experiences, none of which are their fault. To help you to help the children in your care, we’ll ensure that you receive extensive trauma-informed training and support to help you be the best foster parent you can be.

“Aren’t you worried what sort of an impact fostering might have on your biological children?”

Some loved ones may worry that fostering might be disruptive to your own children. They may worry that your own children will get less of your attention, or that having other children moving in and out of the home will upset their sense of stability. While fostering won’t be right for every child, welcoming a foster sibling can have lots of benefits for children, including helping them to learn important values such as sharing, empathy and resilience, and giving them chance to build lifelong relationships with their foster siblings.

While it’s natural for friends and family to be concerned about how fostering might change your family dynamics, it’s up to you as a parent to decide if your little ones are ready to become part of a fostering family. You know your child best, and in making the decision to become a foster parent, you must put their needs first.

“Won’t it be too much for you, fostering as a single person?”

Many people foster while single, and thrive while doing so. 1/3 of our foster parents here at Fostering People are single, but that doesn’t mean that they are fostering alone. We ensure that our single foster parents benefit from a huge range of tailored training and support.

There are plenty of benefits to fostering as a single person, including being able to provide a child with your undivided attention. This can be invaluable for children who need extra support and guidance to thrive, as you become their trusted pillar of support. A strong network of support from friends and family is vital for single foster parents; the support of your loved ones will be invaluable as you make your first steps towards becoming a single foster parent.

Tips for starting a conversation about fostering with your partner

When you’re in a relationship, deciding to foster is one of the biggest decisions you can make with your partner. All different types of couples can foster, regardless of marital status, gender identity or sexuality.

To foster as a couple who live together, you’ll both need to be on the same page about fostering. Fostering is a challenging journey at times, and you will need your partner fully on board to succeed. Here are some tips on how to start the conversation about fostering.

  • Choose the right time. Before approaching the topic of fostering with your loved one, consider your personal circumstances and ask yourself if you are in the right place as a couple to be taking on the responsibility of fostering a child. If you’ve only recently become a couple or if you have recently had a baby, it might not be the right time for you jump in head-first and begin your fostering journey. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t start the discussion about becoming foster parents together in the future!
  • Do your research. Before bringing up the topic of fostering with your partner, do lots of research into fostering so that you’re equipped to answer any questions they may have. Take the time to learn about the different types of foster care, finances for foster parents and the different roles and responsibilities you’ll take on as foster parents. Ready to start learning? Check out our blog for foster parents or download our guide to fostering for beginners.
  • Choose the right environment to have the conversation. Just as you would with any big discussion, choose a quiet and private moment to bring up the topic of fostering with your partner. Approach the topic with curiosity; rather than diving in head-first and telling them that you’re committed to making this huge life change, ask them what they think about fostering as a whole, and if they’ve ever considered it for themselves. You could spark further conversation by watching a documentary about fostering together.
  • Listen to their concerns and discuss how your life together as foster parents might look.As well as the common stereotypes about fostering which we’ve discussed, there are plenty of valid concerns your partner may bring up when you’re discussing fostering for the first time; after all, fostering is a huge commitment, and shouldn’t be taken on lightly.Be sure that they understand that fostering is something you’ll need to do together— even if one of you takes on the bulk of care responsibilities, they will still need to be a fully present parent to the child you welcome into your home, just as they would with their own child.It’s important that you and your partner discuss the practicalities of how you’ll live and work as foster parents, such as how you’ll split responsibilities, if you’ll continue to work outside of the home, how fostering will fit in with your own children’s needs and other commitments, and the sacrifices you’ll have to make in order to foster.
  • Suggest taking part in a home visit.After you enquire with our team who will help you determine your eligibility, the next stage of the fostering application process is a home visit. If your partner is open to learning more about fostering, ask them if they’d be open to a visit. Ensure that they know there’s no commitment at this stage, and the visit is about learning more about if fostering is right for you as a family, and if you’re a good fit for fostering.During this visit, a member of our team will take a look around your home and sit down with you as a couple to discuss the ins and outs of fostering and answer any of your questions. You can also have a virtual visit if this would suit your needs better.

What to do if your partner isn’t enthusiastic about fostering

If you live together, you cannot foster if your partner isn’t on board— you two are a team, after all! If your partner doesn’t seem interested in fostering, it may just be that now isn’t the right time for them. You can bring up the conversation again in the future if you’re passionate about becoming a foster parent.

For some people, it will never be the right time to foster, and that’s okay. Fostering is a huge life decision, and no one should feel pressured into becoming a foster parent; it isn’t fair on the children or your partner if their heart isn’t truly in it. Every child who has experience of being cared for by another family has faced disruption in their lives, often couples with rejection, and they deserve to feel fully wanted by every member of their foster family.

If you can’t foster together as a couple, remember that there are always other ways to help children across the UK who are in need of support and care. Amazing ways to do this include volunteering in your community, such as at a local youth group or food bank, donating to charities, busting myths around foster care and spreading the word about the growing need for foster parents.

Start your journey together as a family

We hope that our tips have given you the tools you’ll need to discuss fostering with your loved ones. Feeling confident that fostering is the right choice for you and your family? Reach out to our team of friendly advisors who will be able to give you tailored advice and support about what your family’s personal journey to fostering could look like.

New Year, New Start: Why 2025 Could Be the Perfect Time to Foster

new career of fostering

How to choose a new career

Starting a new career may seem daunting, but when you take a step back, you’ll see that it’s actually an opportunity to go on a journey of self-discovery. It forces you to reflect and ask yourself whether your current career aligns with your values, goals, and the lifestyle you wish to lead. Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you decide on a new career and why fostering could be the perfect choice.

What matters to you?

What are you hoping to get out of your new career? Whether it be an improved sense of job satisfaction or a desire to make a direct difference, figuring out what matters most to you will help narrow down your career search.

A career that transforms young lives

If you’re looking for a career where you’ll make a significant impact, fostering could be your ideal vocation. There are currently around 70,000 children living in foster care in the UK and this number is predicted to rise in 2025. We urgently need more foster parents to provide safe, stable and nurturing homes for the most vulnerable children in our society.

What could be more satisfying than supporting a child’s development and building their self-esteem, confidence and trust?

What transferable skills do you have?

Whichever career route you’ve taken up until this point, you will have gained transferable job skills that you can apply to your new role. Grab a notepad and write down the knowledge, experience, and skills you’ve gained in previous roles to see if they align with any potential new career paths.

Transferable skills include:

  • Communication
  • Organisation
  • Collaboration
  • Resilience
  • Problem-solving
  • Adaptability
  • Patience
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Compassion
  • Job specific training, knowledge and experience.

Transferable skills for fostering

If you possess any transferable skills mentioned above and are eager to develop them further, fostering could be the perfect next step in your career journey.

The role of a foster parent is extremely varied, involving everything from daily care and school drop-offs to managing behaviour, emotions and family time meetings. Not only will you utilise these skills on a daily basis, but with Fostering People, we’ll help you enhance them even further.

When you foster with us, we’re committed to your personal growth and professional development. We’ll equip you with the knowledge and local support you need to provide therapeutic foster care for children and young people who are living with the trauma of their early life experiences. Our comprehensive foster care training will also prepare you to face any challenges, transitions or barriers you or the child in your care may face along the way.

How do you want to work?

Some people thrive in a buzzing office environment, while others prefer the flexibility of not being tied to a single location. Many enjoy the structure of a traditional 9-to-5 working day, whereas others are energised by a more varied role with flexible hours. Similarly, some individuals prefer working from home, while others find comfort in heading to the same workplace each day.

Take some time to reflect on how you want to work and how it aligns with the lifestyle you envision for yourself, both now and in the future.

Fostering around your commitments

If you’re looking for a job role that’s rewarding and flexible, fostering could be the ideal profession for you. At Fostering People, we offer a wide range of fostering placements, enabling you to foster alongside your existing commitments.

When you apply to foster with us, we’ll take the time to understand your preferences and help identify the type of fostering that best suits your lifestyle. For example, if you’d prefer to start gradually or have other obligations that make long-term fostering difficult, you could consider fostering a child in an emergency or providing respite care for other foster parents.

The child’s age can also be a factor in finding the right fit – young children often require more hands-on care, while teenagers tend to be more independent.

Our training works around your schedule, with many courses available online or delivered in your local community. Our support is also local. Our social workers live and work within the communities they serve, ensuring help is always close at hand. This prevents you from travelling far to access the support you need.

What are your salary expectations?

If you’re currently in a job role where you feel your hard work and meaningful contributions aren’t reflected in your pay, it’s the perfect opportunity to reassess your salary expectations before exploring a new career.

Sometimes, embarking on a new career path may involve a temporary reduction in salary. For many, this is a worthwhile step towards pursuing a career they’re passionate about. Others may find this more challenging due to their financial commitments. However, with careful planning, this transition can still be rewarding.

If you possess experience, knowledge, and skills relevant to your prospective new career, this may not apply, but it is still worth considering.

Foster parent pay

If you’re keen to pursue a career where your hard work and commitment are truly valued and rewarded, 2025 could be the perfect time to consider becoming a foster parent.

At Fostering People, we’re dedicated to ensuring you feel appreciated for the incredible steps you take to improve the lives of children and young people in care. That’s why we offer a generous fostering allowance, currently averaging at £482 per week per child, which is typically tax-free.

You’ll additionally benefit from a range of perks, including exclusive discounts from hundreds of brands. Whether you want to treat the child in your care to a day out or a trip to the cinema, these discounts enrich your fostering experience and allow you to take every opportunity to make memories that last a lifetime.

Are you thinking about a post-retirement career?

If you’re post-retirement, you may wonder: Am I too old to start a new career? The answer is no – you’re never too old to embark on a new career. However, it’s essential to think about the types of careers that will best suit your individual circumstances. To help you make your decision, consider the following:

Do you want to work full-time or part-time?

  • If you have any health issues, will they affect your ability to perform particular roles?
  • How long do you want to continue working?
  • Will working fit into your desired retirement lifestyle?

Many people choose to work after they’ve retired and bring a huge amount of life experience and knowledge to the world of work.

Fostering after retirement

If you’re exploring a new career post-retirement, fostering could be an excellent choice. There’s no upper age limit to foster, and at Fostering People, many of our foster parents use their retirement to make a meaningful difference in young lives.

Foster parents who start their journey in retirement bring a wealth of knowledge, experience and wisdom to the role, which can have a profound impact on the children they care for.

As part of the assessment process, you’ll undergo a health check to ensure fostering won’t negatively affect your well-being and confirm you can keep up with the demands of caring for young people. With our support, fostering in retirement can be a deeply rewarding and fulfilling journey.

Discover a new career in fostering

If you’re ready to take your career in a new and rewarding direction by becoming a foster parent, here are the initial requirements you’ll need to meet:

  • You must be 21 or over.
  • You must have a spare bedroom for a child to make their own.
  • You must have the legal right to live and work in the UK.

Call us today to learn about fostering in more detail and take the first step towards making 2025 the most exciting and fulfilling year of your career journey yet. Together, we can help you build a career that will not only change the lives of children and young people but yours as well.

Enquire today

Introducing Fostering People’s Buddy Scheme

Buddy Scheme

Bringing foster families together

Here at Fostering People, we want to ensure that our new foster parents are never alone while navigating the highs and lows of the assessment process and day-to-day life. That’s why we’ve designed a fantastic scheme which pairs people going through the fostering assessment process with an experienced foster parent in their area.

These fantastic volunteers, known as ‘Buddies,’ are a great source of advice for new comers to fostering, offering support, guidance and a listening ear. Buddies offer support in a variety of ways, including over the phone, at in-person meetups, and at social events run by Fostering People. Buddies will work alongside a new applicant until they’re confident in their new role as a foster parent, and the friendships built during this crucial phase can last a lifetime.

Finding the right Buddy for you

During your fostering assessment process, you’ll have the opportunity to be matched with a buddy who’ll be a great fit for you during the first few weeks of your assessment. We carefully match buddies based on a range of qualities including personality, location and things you may have in common.

For example, if you’re a single applicant, we might match you with a single foster parent whose experiences in fostering may be similar to what you’ll encounter. If you’re fostering as an LGBTQIA+ couple, we might match you with a foster parent who has lived experience of fostering as a queer person.

Guidance and reassurance

We sat down with Oliver Kirkland, who has been the Registered Manager for Fostering People for the past 6 years, to find out just what it is that makes the Buddy Scheme so special.

“We endeavour to ‘buddy up’ all potential foster parents with an existing foster parent, because having someone available to talk to is always helpful,” Oliver said. “It’s really beneficial for new applicants to be able to touch base with someone who already fosters, to talk to about their experiences and answer any questions they might have. It helps them feel a part of our organisation from the get go, and introduces them to the friendly community here at Fostering People.”

Having the support of a Buddy can be really beneficial to those taking their first steps to foster. Oliver said:

“When a positive rapport is established, applicants are ready to enter the world of fostering with a more rounded understanding of what the role entails, a clearer sense of what representing Fostering People means, and are better placed to provide the care that vulnerable and traumatised children need.”

A chance to grow and learn

The Buddy Scheme isn’t only helpful for new foster parents— it’s also a fantastic chance for our current foster parents to help out in the community and develop their own skills while helping newcomers to learn how to be a great foster parent.

We asked Oliver what qualities make for a great foster parent Buddy. He said:

“A buddy would usually be someone who has fostered for at least a year and who is invested in the agency, its objectives and its values. They should also be a confident communicator and empathetic to the experiences new foster parents are going through. Buddies receive lots of support from their Supervising Social Worker and from our Team Managers.”

Interested in becoming a foster parent Buddy? Talk to your Supervising Social Worker or our team to learn more about how you can support your wider community as a Buddy.

Thriving as a family

New foster parents also receive plenty of ongoing support here at Fostering People. Our support includes:

  • A 24/7 helpline
  • Support groups for foster parents
  • Days out for foster families
  • A generous fostering allowance
  • Therapeutic support
  • Learn more about the range of support we offer.

Join our community

Could you join our community as one of our fantastic foster parents? If you think fostering could be right for you and your family, we’d love to hear from you. Contact us today or learn more about what it’s like to become a foster parent.

Presenting at the Children in Scotland #KeepThePromise Pupil Support Staff Training Day

As described on the Children in Scotland website:

“Funded by the Keep The Promise Fund, since March 2023 we’ve been planning and co-designing #KeepThePromise Pupil Support Staff learning programme. Over the past year, we’ve worked with care experienced children and young people and a group of Pupil Support Staff to gather their views on what should be in the programme. The programme has been shaped by what they’ve told us about support for care experienced pupils in schools and what they think needs to improve further. It includes a range of in-person training events, online practice-sharing sessions, eLearning modules and online resources. All the learning opportunities are free for Pupil Support Staff.

The Promise tells us about the importance of supportive schools for care experienced pupils, and we know that Pupil Support Staff don’t always get consistent professional development opportunities. The #KeepThe Promise Learning Programme will provide a platform to improve awareness and understanding of care experience and bring Pupil Support Staff together to network and share best practice about supporting care experienced learners.

The event is open to anyone working in a role with a specific Pupil Support remit nationally. This could include roles such as: support for learning worker, pupil support assistant, classroom assistant, ASN assistant, home-school link worker, behaviour support staff and others. The event is also open to teaching staff who line-manage pupil support workers.”

The event was both insightful and thought-provoking, featuring excellent keynote speakers such as:

  • Jimmy Paul (Head of the Scottish Violence Reduction Unit)
    As the Head of the Violence Reduction Unit, Jimmy reflected on the need for children feel loved. Jimmy discussed key findings from the workforce group that he co-chaired as part of the Independent Care Review as well as some of his personal experiences, and how we must ensure the realisation of young people’s rights (including those who have care experience).
  • Nicola McAlister (Consultant and Founder of The Regulated Child)
    Nicola’s workshop explored how trauma can impact children and young people’s brains, bodies and behaviours focusing on the importance of understanding how adverse childhood experiences can result in trauma, how this impacts a child’s body and brain, toxic stress and responding to behaviour signals.

We were then invited to take part in a panel discussion, considering a whole-school approach to supporting care experienced children and young people, and the role of pupil support staff, alongside:

  • Jude Turbyne (CEO, Children in Scotland)
  • Kerri Abbott (Pupil Support Worker for Care-Experienced Young People)
  • Beth-Anne McDowell (Senior Development Officer at Includem)

Having the opportunity to listen to and learn from these individuals who all have a wealth of knowledge in regards to understanding trauma and supporting care-experienced young people with their education, was invaluable.

We were able to take this opportunity to share more information about our School Through My Eyes  project, highlighting some of the key themes we have identified following our consultations with children, young people and professionals and share the exciting news about our next steps. It was excellent to be able to share the details of our course with Pupil Support Staff across Dundee and the surrounding areas, and look forward to sharing our completed resource in spring 2025.

Lizz, event co-ordinator, shared the following feedback with us: “Just a quick note from me to thank you again for being part of our training day for pupil support staff on Friday. Your presentation was a really powerful end to the day encouraging everyone to reflect on care experienced children and young people’s experiences in the here and now, and the live issues they’re facing.”

Public speaking is neither Cassie or I’s favourite pastime, however, we were so grateful to have been given the opportunity to shine a light on our exciting project with some of the key professionals who support our young people with their education. We are looking forward to more opportunities, like these, in the future.

What Makes Fostering a Teenager Incredibly Rewarding

Teens in care

Imagine; you’re in your teenage years and due to circumstances out of your control, you are unable to live with your family. You can’t go home— perhaps you don’t want to. You’re being moved away from your friends and family and have been told that you will be moving into a stranger’s home. Wouldn’t the world feel like a scary, lonely place?

Thousands of children have found themselves in this difficult position. Thankfully, there are wonderful foster parents up and down the UK who foster teenagers, welcoming them into their homes and lives. All foster parents start as strangers but are soon able to become the pillar of support which a young person comes to rely on as their house becomes the young person’s home, filled with the love, care and protection which every child deserves.

Breaking the stigma

There are several myths surrounding teenagers who are in foster care or children’s homes. Some people assume that teenagers are in care due to poor or anti-social behaviour which their parents have been unable to manage. This is not the truth.

The truth is that children come into care for a variety of reasons, none of which they are to blame for. The death of a parent or caregiver can mean that some children come into care, while others have come from a home which was neglectful or abusive. Many care-experienced teenagers will have been in the foster care system since they were little, may will have experienced complex trauma which they need help and guidance to process and ultimatley heal from.

Protecting vulnerable children of every age

It is important for everyone to recognise that teenagers are still children and are in many ways just as vulnerable as younger children. Teens are especially vulnerable to exploitation by gangs, trafficking and sexual exploitation, with one study finding that ‘compared to younger children, teenagers in care are six times more likely to be victims of sexual exploitation,’ and another finding that an estimated 30,000 – 50,000 children in the UK have been lured into involvement with gangs.

The adultification of vulnerable children is dangerous, and particularly impacts children from Black and Minority Ethnic (BAME) backgrounds. Treating vulnerable children as though they are adults robs them of their childhood and can lead to failings in protect them from dangers.

It’s vital that looked after young people are provided with a loving, protective environment to help shield them from exploitation. Teenagers in foster care need and deserve compassionate care and protection just as much as any other child.

Could you foster a teenager?

There’s a real need for more foster parents who are eager to welcome teenagers into their home. You don’t need experience of looking after a teen and you can become a foster parent even if you’ve had no experience in looking after children before.

If you choose to change a life by welcoming a young person into your home, you’ll soon begin reaping the rewards. Read on to discover some amazing reasons why you should consider fostering a teenager.

5 reasons to consider fostering a teenager

Be there for kids most in need of safe and loving homes

There is a shortage of foster parents who are open to providing a home for older children. This means that many older children in need of a home are moved into shared children’s homes or supported accommodation, which can lack the benefit of a family environment and 1-1 care due to rotating staff and more children to care for. Due to a lack of available foster homes, older children are also regularly separated from their siblings, which can be incredibly distressing.

Older kids in foster care have often been through a variety of moves and disruptions. You could provide a child with the invaluable gift of stability. They may never before have experienced a safe home with a parental figure who has their best interests as their top priority. Your love, care and nurturing home environment could provide them with the tools they need to heal, improving their prospects as they take their crucial first steps towards young adulthood.

Support young people at a pivotal time

Our teenage years are formative, and can have an enormous impact on our overall life. All teenagers experience a range of turbulences and difficulties in these pivotal years, whether it be to do with hormones, body image, schooling, or friends. Children who are care experienced often have a lot more to deal with on top of these usual challenges due to their circumstances.

As a therapeutically trained foster parent, you’ll have the opportunity to help guide a teen through this difficult period, teaching them about healthy relationships and being there as an adult they can trust. You can encourage them to achieve their best academically and help them to decide what they want to do with their future as they approach adulthood and age out of foster care. There’s nothing more rewarding than seeing a young person transform and succeed.

Fostering a teenager is a rare opportunity to make a real difference to a young person’s life prospects before they begin making their way into the adult world, which often lacks understanding of the experiences of care-experienced youth. You can be a pillar of support and guidance, showing them the way to a healthy, fulfilling life and a future which is all their own.

Support their independence

When you foster a teenager, you’ll more than likely benefit from having more freedom and flexibility than if you were to care for a younger child. Teens are able to stay on their own for short periods of time and often require less close supervision. They also value having alone time, autonomy and their own personal space. Most teens are fully able to take care of their personal care needs and are responsible enough to take care of their own daily routines, such as getting themselves to school or making themselves a snack.

Fostering a teen can also be great fun— teenagers tend to have a wicked sense of humour, and rather than the hours of kids cartoons you’d likely watch while looking after younger children, you and the teens you care for can form bonds over and enjoy age-appropriate shows, games and hobbies together. Their maturity will allow you to have a different style of relationship than the bonds you would form with a younger child, which can often make communication easier.

This ability won’t only be an asset during the fun times, but during harder times, too. It’s important to be honest and open with teens, acknowledging their level of maturity. Teenagers are also often better equipped to understand their situation better, and the logic behind why certain decisions about their care have been made, in a way that a younger child would be unable to understand. However, this doesn’t mean that these decisions will be any less upsetting or frustrating. By listening to and respecting their views, you can help them to build a deep, trusting bon with you.

The sudden freedom of turning eighteen and leaving care may excite some young people and may make others anxious about their future. Encouraging freedom and independence in a safe, nurturing environment can be hugely beneficial in shaping your teen into a self-sufficient young adult who’ll be ready to handle the new responsibility of caring for themselves, and in making the transition from a foster home to independent living much easier.

Build a lifelong connection

When you foster a child, you’ll treasure the memories of the time you shared with them. There’s no doubt they’ll remember you, too. Your relationship with the teenager you foster doesn’t have to change when they turn eighteen. You can choose to continue offering a young person a loving home and a place to stay through the Staying Put arrangement until they feel ready to move away from home.

Many care-experienced teenagers choose to keep in touch with their foster family, whether that’s the occasional text message to check in on how one another are doing, or whether it’s continuing to spend time together and sharing celebrations like Christmas or birthdays together. The bond you can build with a teenager is a beautiful thing, and it has the potential to last even when they become adults.

Our generous fostering allowance

As the foster parent of a teenager you will receive a generous fostering allowance to help you support the young person in your care. Alongside a generous fostering allowance, when you foster with us you’ll benefit from a wide range of support including a 24/7 helpline, local support groups, ongoing training opportunities and the option to take 14 days of paid respite per year. With the support of our dedicated team of childcare professionals, there will always be someone there to help you and the teens in your care with any challenges you may face.

Are you ready to foster?

If you’d love to offer your heart and your home to a teenager in need, we’ll be there to support you every step of the way. We’ll always be on hand to offer both you and the young person in your care tailored support whenever you need us.

Get in touch today by filling in our enquiry form or giving us a call on 0808 304 2454. While you’re here, why not watch our video to learn more from our friendly team about what happens when you make an enquiry with us?

The Importance of a Trauma-Informed Approach in Foster Care

At Fostering People, we support children from diverse backgrounds, but one thing they often have in common is trauma from adverse childhood experiences. That’s why we are committed to therapeutic fostering and using a trauma-informed approach so children living with trauma can heal.

But what is trauma, and why is a trauma-informed approach important in foster care? Keep reading to find out.

What is Trauma?

Many children in care have experienced prolonged adverse childhood experiences, such as abuse and neglect. These experiences affect each child uniquely and can impact all areas of their life now and in adulthood.

Childhood trauma causes emotional pain and mental health conditions like depression, anxiety and PTSD. There can also be physical symptoms and a reduction in cognitive function, making it more difficult for children with trauma to concentrate, retain memories and learn new things.

When ignored or left untreated, childhood trauma can lead to a lack of fulfilment when they reach adulthood. It may also lead them to fall behind their peers at school and, in the future, make it difficult to form relationships and impact employment.

All is not lost; we can mitigate the impacts of trauma by using a trauma-informed approach in foster care, giving children with trauma hope and a brighter future.

What Does Trauma-Informed Mean?

The trauma-informed approach means understanding children living with trauma and how it can impact all areas of their lives. It’s about being mindful of triggers and providing a safe and stable foster home where they can freely express their emotions and be themselves.

Through a combination of this and collaboration with enhanced communities of support, children can begin to recover from their trauma and reach their full potential.

Safety and Stability

Recovery can only begin if children have a safe and stable home. A safe and stable home protects and promotes children’s physical, mental, spiritual and emotional well-being. It’s a platform for children to discover themselves, build relationships, find educational fulfilment, and feel empowered to succeed.

At Fostering People, we ensure the best matches between foster families and children by truly getting to know everyone. By doing so, we nurture the whole family and provide children with homes where their triggers are understood and alleviated so they can heal.

Building Trust Through Understanding

Another crucial aspect of the trauma-informed approach involves taking the time to look beyond the behaviour of children living with trauma. It means slowing down your response so you can recognise their triggers and understand their inner world; this helps you provide appropriate support.

At Fostering People, we train our foster parents to use the PACE approach. PACE stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy. It encourages foster parents to be mindful of their interactions with children who have trauma, responding thoughtfully, creating trust and helping them through big emotions.

Playfulness – means two things. Firstly, it’s adding appropriately timed moments of silliness and playfulness into your daily interactions with children. This could mean creating a song about washing up or dancing whilst baking together. These moments give you an opportunity to bond and can make children feel at ease.

Secondly, playfulness means using soft tones and facial expressions when responding to children’s behaviour if being silly in this situation would be inappropriate. For example, if they have fallen out with a friend, it would be inappropriate to make a joke. Instead, you could use open body language, ensure you’re at their level and use a light-hearted tone.

Acceptance – means accepting the cause of a child’s behaviour because you know there is an underlying explanation. It also means providing non-judgemental support so they can share their thoughts, feelings and emotions.

For example, the child in your care grew up in a home where they often felt hungry, they have been hiding food in their bedroom for weeks, and you find some moulding under their bed. At first, you may feel confused or annoyed, but the PACE approach encourages you to stop and think about the underlying reasons for this behaviour before responding. You can then explain to the child in your care that they don’t need to hide food in their room because they can ask you for it if they feel hungry.

Curiosity – When children enter a new foster home, they may not feel comfortable or able to share their feelings, emotions, or experiences. So, it is vital to be curious and attentive to decode their behaviours and, by doing so, show the child that you care about their thoughts and feelings.

Curiosity means being mindful of children’s behaviour and asking questions that help you better understand. For example, the child in your care comes home from school upset and rips up a card she received on her birthday from her best friend, which indicates she has fallen out with her friend and this could be triggering feelings of rejection. With this in mind, you can approach the subject with understanding and ask questions that show the child you care.

Empathy – means putting yourself in the child’s position and imagining how they must be feeling so you can better understand their behaviour. You can then respond to the child using compassionate language.

For example, the child in your care wants to go swimming this weekend but has an ear infection, so they can’t go and they are upset. You can explain that you understand their frustration and why they are upset because you know swimming is their favourite activity, which could help them feel less alone in their feelings.

Community and Collaboration

The trauma-informed approach emphasises collaboration and building strong communities that put foster families at the centre. This is why, at Fostering People, we create close-knit communities that support the needs of the whole family. We ensure everyone feels safe, supported and valued, giving children with trauma a nurturing environment to thrive.

Our trauma-informed communities include:

  • Dedicated social worker – Our social workers live and work from home in the communities they serve, meaning they are close at hand to offer guidance, support and advice whenever needed. Our social workers are all PACE trained, to support you in your fostering role.
  • Support groups – We offer support groups in local community venues that allow you to meet other foster parents, discuss your experiences and enhance your skills in the trauma-informed approach.
  • Network of fostering professionals – Being trauma-informed means knowing that often, children with trauma need input from fostering specialists like therapists, who can provide counselling to help them work through their trauma. Our network includes therapists, social workers and more.
  • Community activities and events – each region has a calendar bursting with fun activities and events for the whole family to enjoy. Giving you and the children in your care a chance to make friends, build on your support and spend time with like-minded people.
  • 24/7 assistance – our phone line is available 24/7 with experts waiting to help you, no matter the time of day.

Trauma-informed Training

At Fostering People, our trauma-informed training equips foster parents with the skills and knowledge they need to support children living with trauma.

Our trauma-informed training includes:

  • Prepare to foster training – completed during your assessment; our ‘Next Steps’ programme will introduce you to therapeutic parenting and the trauma-informed approach.
  • Induction training – Once approved, you’ll complete our induction training on topics such as Safeguarding, First Aid and Equality, Diversity & Inclusion.
  • Advanced training – When you’ve completed your induction training, you can opt to complete training in specialist topics like Emotional Wellbeing, Mental Health Awareness and Child Development to broaden your knowledge.

Many training courses are delivered online, and in-person courses take place in local community venues. Your supervising social worker will work with your family to make sure you receive training that will help you support children living with trauma effectively.

Do you want to join a fostering agency committed to providing children with trauma-informed care? Get in touch to learn more about the role of a foster parent and to find out how much fostering allowance you could receive.

Together, using a trauma-informed approach, we can change the outcomes for children with childhood trauma and make an extraordinary difference that will last a lifetime.

Can you foster if you have a dog?

Over half of UK households have a pet, so we are often asked, ‘Can I foster if I have a pet?’ But what about dogs? With cautionary tales plastering the news, it’s no wonder people are confused.

We can confirm that having a dog won’t necessarily stop you from fostering. Not only are dogs adorable, but they are a comfort and a friend to the whole family, with countless benefits for children living in foster homes.

Are all dogs considered when you foster?

We consider most dogs, but like humans, their personalities, backgrounds and temperaments are unique, so your dog will be viewed as a family member during your assessment, being assessed alongside you.

We’ll ask questions about your dog before seeking further details about your dog’s health, care and behaviour from your vet. When we visit you at home, we’ll get to know your furry companion to ensure they are safe living with children.

Banned Dog Breeds

Our top priority is the well-being and safety of the children and young people you foster, so if your dog’s breed is on the banned list, they’ll need to be relinquished if you’d like to start or continue fostering.

Banned dog breeds include Pit Bull Terriers, Japanese Tosas, Dogo Argentinos, Fila Brasileiros and American XL Bullys.

If you have three or more dogs, due to their natural pack instinct, you’ll need to answer some additional questions, and sometimes we require an assessment from a dog behavioural specialist.

5 Benefits of Dogs on Foster Families

There is nothing like the warm welcome of your dog after a long day; they are always excited to see you and can’t wait to greet you with doe-eyes and a wagging tail.  But what are the benefits of having dogs on children and adults in foster homes?

Dogs help children settle into their new home

Children in care can suffer from attachment difficulties if they’ve had many placement moves. The upheaval can prevent them from trusting adults and can make it difficult for them to settle into their new home.

Having a dog, however, can help children with this transition, providing comfort and helping them to form attachments with the whole family. Dogs offer unconditional love and a listening ear so children can talk to them with the assurance that their thoughts, fears and dreams are safe in the dog’s paws.

Dogs help foster families build connections

At Fostering People, we understand the importance of community and having networks of local support you can rely on.

Having a dog gives you more opportunities to connect with like-minded foster families. Dogs love nature and socialising, offering you an excuse to organise dog walking dates so you can bond with other dog lovers. Dogs can also be fantastic conversation starters for children in care, giving them something to discuss and helping them make friends, which will build their self-esteem and confidence.

Dogs can help children regulate their emotions

When children are angry, sad, anxious or scared, interacting with the family dog can help them regulate their emotions. Dogs can be soothing in emotionally charged situations, sharing their calm with children and helping them clear their minds and collect their thoughts.

Stroking, playing or cuddling a dog can lower cortisol, a stress hormone and increase oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of happiness. Dogs also encourage children to get fresh air and exercise, which helps them release pent-up tension and feel more tranquil.

Therapy dogs can help children with trauma

Children in foster care often have trauma from challenging childhood experiences and may need therapy to recover. Animal-assisted therapy is an effective way of helping children work through their trauma.

During each session, children will interact with an animal whilst working through their thoughts, feelings and emotions with a therapist. If the therapy animal is a dog, children may walk, groom and play with them, assisting the therapist’s understanding of how they form relationships and attachments. The distraction of a pet can also make children feel more at ease when sharing their life experiences.

Dogs can support a healthy routine

When you have a dog, routine is vital for caring for their needs and ensuring you have time to take them for walks and stimulate their senses with play. Routine is also fundamental to children in care, especially if they have had their routine disrupted by moving homes. For children in foster homes, predictable routines can provide a sense of normality, alleviating anxiety because they know what to expect.

Dogs can help you build a healthy routine where children have some responsibility over walking, feeding and grooming the dog. Not only will this routine encourage them to exercise and help them learn about responsibility, but it will enhance their self-esteem because it shows that you trust them to take care of another family member.

Matching Foster Children and Dogs

Although children and dogs make fabulous companions, sometimes children may be afraid of dogs or have allergies that make living together unsuitable. But at Fostering People, our priority is to match children with the right foster family so everyone feels safe and comfortable with a platform for growth.

During the matching process, we always share information with the local authority about any pets you have and will never place a child in a home with pets they are scared of or allergic to.

Tips for introducing children to dogs

When you foster a child and have a dog, it is vital to consider how you will introduce them to each other. Here are our tips:

  • Introduce your dog to your child in a calm environment with an exit available for your dog if they feel uncomfortable.
  • You can encourage your child to offer treats to your dog, but don’t force interactions; they’ll bond in their own time.
  • Ensure the supervision of your child when they are around your dog, monitoring their interactions for the safety of both parties.
  • Discourage your child from disturbing your dog whilst they are eating or drinking.
  • Don’t forget to photograph the special moment of their first meeting.

If you foster and don’t have a dog but are considering adding one to your family, you must talk to your supervising social worker first.

At Fostering People, we offer diverse placement types, including short-term, respite, emergency, long-term fostering and more. So, if you would like to take that first step to becoming a foster parent, get in touch with us via the form on this page or give us a call at 0800 098 4149.

The Unique Role of Foster Dads in the World of Foster Care

The Significant Role of Foster Dads

Foster dads work hard to help children and young people achieve extraordinary things. The role of ‘foster dad’ is so varied that it means they wear many hats:

  • They look after children and young people’s emotional well-being by accepting, respecting and offering a safe place to share their emotions. They connect with them, giving them autonomy and help them feel significant.
  • They help children and young people work through their trauma by offering a safe and nurturing environment for them to flourish, alongside employing therapeutic strategies such as PACE. PACE stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy, a technique that helps foster parents build trust with the child in their care.
  • They apply the knowledge they have gained in training, understanding that big emotions and challenging behaviour are strategies children and young people have developed to survive adverse childhood experiences.
  • They advocate for children and young peoples’ education, helping them achieve their dreams.
  • They teach children and young people new skills, like cooking and riding a bike and life skills, such as problem-solving, communication and empathy.
  • They nurture children and young people’s self-esteem, encouraging them to participate in local activities to build friendships and try new things.
  • They talk to other foster parents, creating a network of like-minded people to share knowledge, experience and wisdom with to help improve their skills.
  • They are positive male role models, modelling healthy behaviour and attitudes.

Foster Dads are Positive Male Role Models

Foster dads have the unique privilege of becoming male role models for the children and young people in their care. Care-experienced children and young people may not have encountered a positive male influence, which could lead to confusion about how to act, treat others and express themselves.

Male Role Models and Toxic Masculinity

YoungMinds describes toxic masculinity as ‘the negative aspects of exaggerated masculine traits’. It can include beliefs, such as men should not show their emotions or that men and women have gendered roles. It can lead to controlling, dominating and violent behaviour and impacts men seeking help in crisis. Toxic masculinity is harmful to children and young people and can be present on social media, at school and in the home. So, having a positive male role model, like a foster dad, who doesn’t display these traits can have a significant impact.

Foster dads challenge toxic masculinity because they nurture children, show empathy, are open communicators, and can resolve conflict before it escalates. Foster dads aren’t perfect; they are only human, but they can show children and young people a healthy version of masculinity.

The Challenges and Rewards of Being a Foster Dad

Foster parenting brings with it a unique set of challenges, from big emotions to challenges with children and young people’s education. Foster dads are on the frontline; they are there through all the ups and downs of life. But what can be more rewarding than helping a child or young person recover from their trauma, overcome adversity and accomplish extraordinary things?

Steve, a foster dad, explains, ‘We have dealt with many varying issues, from lack of routines or boundaries, very few possessions to parental let downs, depression and self-harming…but to watch them come through stronger and their personalities shine brighter, whilst seeing how happy they have become, makes it all worth it.’

Read Steve’s story

Ian, another foster dad, says, “Fostering has fulfilled more than I could have ever expected and wished for.” He recalls his first Father’s Day as a foster dad when the children in his care gave him a Father’s Day card and how “It was an amazing feeling”.

Read Ian’s story

How Fostering People Support Foster Dads

At Fostering People, we understand the daily challenges faced by foster dads. Whether fostering with a partner or as a single foster dad, we are here to guide and support foster parents on their fostering journey.

  • We are community-centred, with all our social workers living and working from home inside the communities of the regions we serve. They are close at hand and know the local area well.
  • We ensure our foster parents never feel alone, so we are contactable 24/7 via our helpline.
  • All our foster parents have access to our network of highly qualified professionals, such as therapists, educational leads and other professionals who specialise in diverse areas of fostering.
  • We organise support groups in local community venues, allowing foster parents to meet each other, share experiences and become a collaborative community.
  • Each area provides foster parents with a full calendar of events for the whole family.
  • We offer ongoing professional development and extensive foster care training to all our foster parents in local community venues and online.

Addressing Father’s Day Sensitively

Father’s Day can be a sensitive topic for children and young people living with foster parents, so it is vital to be mindful when managing Father’s Day with foster children and planning celebrations. Here are our tips to help you address Father’s Day sensitively:

  • Communicate – Talk to the child or young person in your care about Father’s Day. Ask them if they would like to celebrate in any particular way or not celebrate at all.
  • Listen – verbally and non-verbally to what they are trying to tell you. They may express feelings about Father’s Day openly or communicate in other ways. They may show big emotions about unrelated things as they try to process deeper-rooted feelings about their birth family. They may isolate themselves so they can avoid confronting Father’s Day.
  • Understand – big emotions or disinterest in Father’s Day aren’t about you. They may feel loyalty towards their birth dad, and this could make them feel uncomfortable about recognising the day at all.
  • Offer your support – on special days such as Father’s Day, the child or young person may need more support. If they are struggling with feelings about the day, you could try and take their mind off it by doing something with them that they enjoy, like watching their favourite TV show or cooking a meal together.
  • If you have birth children – Ensure the child or young person doesn’t feel excluded and talk to your birth children to help them understand why this day could be difficult for them.
  • Talk to other foster dads – they may have had similar experiences and could help you with strategies to approach the day sensitively.
  • If your foster child would like to celebrate, then celebrate! You could go on a day trip or do a foster dad and child activity to help build your connection.

There is no right way to celebrate Father’s Day; by supporting and communicating with the child in your care, you can customise the day to suit your family.

If you are considering becoming a foster parent and want to learn more about fostering, enquire today!

The Role of Foster Parents in Promoting Sibling Mental Health

The Unique Power of Sibling Bonds

Growing up with siblings can be a wonderful experience. In spite of the natural squabbles and arguments which happen as siblings grow up together, the bond which brothers and sisters share is like no other. There are many mental health benefits when sibling groups are able to stay together while in foster care. Most children adjust to their new living arrangements more easily when their loved ones are close by and they know that they are safe. Siblings in foster care can lean on one another for strength and support during what is oftentimes a difficult time.

If children are able to stay together, they can continue to share experiences with one another and build strong bonds throughout their childhood. Studies have shown that maintaining strong sibling bonds into adulthood can lead to better mental health outcomes throughout a person’s life. Here at Fostering People, we do our best to keep fostered siblings together wherever possible.

The impact of sibling separation

Whether living together or apart, being able to spend time with their siblings is very important to most foster experienced children. Sadly, it is extremely common for siblings to be separated when they enter the fostering service. Unfortunately, almost 40% of children in foster care in the UK are separated from their siblings while in foster care, mostly due to a lack of fostering families who are able to welcome two or more children into their homes.

Separation can be traumatic, and it particularly effects large sibling groups and older children who may be living in supported accommodation rather than with a fostering family. Siblings who are unable to stay together are less likely to settle into their new home and are more likely to act out their frustrations through adverse behaviours. Separated siblings may also find that their relationship suffers long term damage. Children who are separated may be left feeling like strangers to one another.

Supporting the mental health of siblings who live together

One of the most rewarding things you can do in your role as a foster parent is to provide a loving home for a sibling group. Let’s explore some ways in which you can best support the mental health needs of all of the children in your care.

Establish boundaries.

When a pair or group of siblings first comes to live with you, you may find that they seem to be inseparable. While closeness between siblings is a wonderful thing, some children who have lived through adverse childhood experiences may develop trauma bonds with one another. These can manifest in many ways, such as impacting a child’s ability to concentrate and maintain healthy relationships. Often looked after siblings have only ever had one another to rely upon, and may become distressed when expected to do things separately which they are not used to, such as sleeping in different beds. You may find that their emotions seem entangled, and that if one sibling becomes upset, so does the other.

It’s important that clear boundaries are put in place so that children are able to recognise their own individuality and autonomy. You can help siblings who seem overly reliant upon one another by gradually increasing the amount of time they spend apart. You can also help by helping them to learn more about themselves as individuals by encouraging them to try out new interests and hobbies of their own. Spend time with each of your foster children to get to know their unique qualities, and encourage them to pursue their passions and celebrate their individuality.

It is also important that foster carers don’t just assume that each fostered sibling has the same memories and feelings about their life before coming to live with you, or that they need the same kind of support for what they’ve experienced. Some children may have fond memories of home, whereas their siblings may have had a very different experience. Even children who have experienced the same adverse childhood experience can react to these events in very different ways. You can find more information on how to help children effected by trauma here.

Take the lead.

Parentification is a psychological term which describes the impact on a child when they are expected to take on the role of a caregiver. Some children may have come from a home where they were expected to behave like an adult, parenting their siblings and perhaps take care of household duties such as cleaning and cooking. Sibling-focused parentification is especially common among elder siblings, though even younger children can find themselves taking on a parental role.

Because of the nurturing role they have played in their younger sibling’s lives, many older children are extremely protective of their siblings and struggle to trust that their new foster parent knows what’s best for them. They may be very insistent upon their own independence and may be defensive if you attempt to discipline their siblings. It can take time and patience for the young person in your care to learn how to be a child again. You can help them by commending their devotion and love for their siblings, while establishing boundaries around who serves what role in your fostering family. Teach your foster child through consistent and fair parenting that they can rely on you to be the parental figure whose care and attention they and their siblings need.

By being informed of the dynamics which may arise when fostering sibling groups, you’ll be in the best position to help the children in your care to have a safe and healthy future. If you feel that your foster children need additional support with any aspect of their mental health, get in touch with your social worker here at Fostering People. We offer special therapeutic training to our foster parents.

Supporting the mental health of siblings who live apart

Children who are unable to stay with their siblings may deal with difficult emotions including loneliness, anxiety and resentment. Let’s look at some ways in which you can help support the mental health of your foster child if they are unable to live in the same home as their siblings.

Support contact between siblings.

One of the best ways in which you can look out for your foster child’s mental health is by doing all that you can to ensure that they are able to spend quality time with their brothers and sisters, even if they live in separate homes. Each child must have a contact plan which is tailored to their needs and regularly reviewed, and it is the responsibility of everyone involved in a sibling group’s care to ensure that they are able to maintain good contact with one another wherever possible.

Arranging for siblings to be able to get together and enjoy the family time they need can be a challenge. Perhaps your foster child’s siblings live a distance away, meaning that time spent together as a family is less frequent. Your foster child may also come from a large family with some siblings living at home and others living with different foster families, making it difficult for everyone to match up their schedules for a meet-up.

Being flexible in your schedule and building strong working relationships with the siblings’ foster parents can make a huge difference in your ability to provide your foster children with good-quality family time. Here at Fostering People we hold regular family events throughout the year which include days out to theme parks, picnics and a whole host of other activities. These are a great way of getting everyone together.

In some circumstances, it’s decided after careful consideration that it is not in the best interests of fostered siblings to live in the same house. This might be for reasons such as if one child has complex care needs, or if one sibling poses a risk to another. In these instances, as always, it is important to carefully follow your child’s contact plan.

On rare occasions, your foster child may decide that they no longer wish to be in contact with a sibling. If they express this need, talk with your supervising social worker to review your contact plan and find the best solution for everyone involved.

Bridge the gap between visits.

Being separated from siblings can be damaging to a child’s sense of belonging and may have an adverse effect on their mental health. Not being able to be with a loved one and not knowing if they are happy or safe can be extremely distressing. Elder children in particular can become very frustrated, as they often see it as their responsibility to care for their younger siblings.

You may find that your foster child’s mood is negatively impacted after a visit, when the reminder of their separation from their sibling is at its most raw. Encourage your foster child to talk with you about their feelings. You can help to ease your foster child’s anxiety around separation outside of visits by making their siblings a daily part of their life, even when they can’t physically be with them. You might suggest making gifts to share with their siblings on their next visit, such as a card or art project. Phone calls and video calls can be a great way to keep in touch, and there are other methods of keeping up contact such as playing online video games together. Talk with your social worker about whether these methods might be suitable.

Looking after the mental health of young people is one of the many important roles and responsibilities of foster parents. By paying special attention to nurturing the relationship between your foster child and their siblings, you can help them to build and maintain an irreplaceable relationship which can last a lifetime and whether any storm.

If you feel that you are in a position to be able to provide a loving environment for more than one child, the team here at Fostering People would love to talk to you about the ways in which you could help keep siblings together by providing them with a loving home. You can learn more about the role of a foster parent here.

Caroline and Kennys fostering story

Former care manager Caroline and NHS logistics driver, Kenny became foster carers in July 2018 after Caroline was feeling dissatisfied with her organisation’s leadership.

After seeing an advert about care and having a chat with Kenny, Caroline decided that she was ready for a new challenge and contacted Fostering People. Within two days, staff from Fostering People had met with the couple and the rest is history.

Caroline said: “I think it’s the best thing ever. I often just think to myself I don’t know why I didn’t think about it sooner. Still loving it, and him, five years on.”

The latest statistics show that there are currently more than 12,500 looked-after children in Scotland*. Fostering People is always recruiting foster carers to provide a safe, supportive and loving home for children and young people.

Balancing work with fostering

Kenny and Caroline have learned the key to balancing work with supporting a young person. Kenny was a bus driver for 20 years before deciding that it was not offering enough time to spend with Caroline and his foster children.

Now his Monday to Friday role allows him to support Caroline during busy weekends and in the mornings to help the family start their day successfully.

James’** journey

When James arrived to live with Caroline and Kenny, he was a shy, timid little boy, aged just seven years old.

He had moved from household to household and hadn’t had much affection in previous foster homes. James’ early trauma had resulted in some issues such as bedwetting and an apprehension around physical closeness.

Now with love and security from Kenny and Caroline, James is achieving highly at school and is an established football player, no longer wets the bed and now you’ll even find him cosying down to watch TV with his feet up on Kenny.  To Caroline and Kenny, this is nothing short of outstanding progress for a young person who had had such a hard time.

Advice for future foster carers

When asked if they had any advice for people looking to start their fostering careers, Caroline said: “Children just do not fit nearly in the boxes that society wants to put them in. Don’t abide by the boxes! You can have all the training in the world, but it might not be what’s needed for your foster child in that moment, and that’s okay. We’re all individuals., As long as you do your best to love and support them, you’re doing your bit.”

**Names have been changed to protect the identity of the young person

Find out more about fostering…

If you’d like more information about becoming a foster parent with Fostering People, visit why not register to attend our next online information session, where you can find out more about fostering, the application form and what to expect, all from the comfort of your own home.

Attend an Online Information Evening

Alternatively, you can complete the form below and we’ll send you so useful information and give you a call to answer any question you might have.

Take your first step to becoming a foster parent today

If you’re interested in becoming a foster parent and would like to learn more, then we’d love to hear from you.

Simply fill in the form below and one of our friendly team will be in touch.

Enquiry

Are you happy to receive regular fostering news from us?*
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form
This field is hidden when viewing the form

Please make sure you read our terms and conditions because you’re agreeing to them by submitting an enquiry. It’s also worth reading our privacy notice and cookies policy so you understand how we collect and use your personal data. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

A Special Mother’s Day Thank you

Celebrating you!

This Mother’s Day, our thoughts naturally turn to the remarkable women who gave birth to us, raised us and continue to be there for us well beyond childhood. Whilst this experience rings true for many, it isn’t universal. This Mother’s Day, we are extending our celebration to the foster mothers who selflessly stepped into the role of nurturer, supporter and loving guide when children for whatever reason could no longer live with their own parents and families. We want to recognise the amazing contributions made by foster mums and pay tribute to the different journeys they have all been on in providing love, stability and hope to foster children.

The role of a Foster Mother:

Mother’s Day is a great opportunity to express our thanks to the foster mums who have played a vital role in the lives of children. For many, coming into foster care is a traumatic experience filled with uncertainty and fear. Foster mothers and fathers become the reassuring figures who help children feel at ease, providing comfort during a challenging transition. This Mother’s Day we want to acknowledge the role foster mothers play in helping children understand the circumstances that led them into care and reassuring them that it’s not their fault.

The Unique Challenges of Foster Parenting:

Being a foster mother is no easy feat. When children enter their homes, they often yearn to be in their own homes, creating a unique parenting challenge. Living with strangers isn’t a child’s first choice, and foster mums and dads have to navigate the emotional complexities that arise. Yet, we see our foster mothers rise to the occasion, demonstrating resilience and unwavering support as they guide children through the process of understanding their backgrounds and processing trauma.

Beyond the Initial Challenges:

Foster Mothers are not just temporary caregivers; they often become long-term parents for children who initially entered their homes in emergency situations or when care was initially planned to be short-term. We want to say a very Happy Mother’s Day Foster Mums because our foster mum’s have embraced the natural ups and downs of parenting, but also embraced the challenges unique to foster care that brings additional complexities that arise when children have experienced trauma and miss their own parents. When foster mum’s go on to become long-term carers, the deep emotional bonds which are forged in the face of adversity last throughout childhood and beyond.

A Special Thank You:

This Mother’s Day, let’s extend a special thank you to foster mothers. It’s more than just a day for Mother’s Day cards for Foster mums, it’s an opportunity to recognise and appreciate the profound impact these women have on the lives of vulnerable children. Their selflessness, resilience and love create a lasting foundation for children to build upon as they grow into independence, with hopes and dreams for the future, which would not have been possible without their care.

Foster Mums are unsung heroes who open up their homes and their hearts to children in need. Their unwavering commitment, love and dedication deserve our heartfelt thanks. This Mother’s Day, let’s honour and celebrate foster mothers for their unique and invaluable contributions to the lives of the children they’ve nurtured.

Foster Mum Caz, talks about her experience of fostering which has gone beyond the childhood years with foster daughter Britney.

Read her story here

If you’d like to find out more about becoming a foster mum, this Mother’s Day get in touch.

Supporting Foster Children During the Christmas Season

Even though Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year for many, for children in care and their families, it can also be the most difficult time of the year.

Christmas can bring up painful emotions and memories for foster children, that can make the festive season very challenging. While the idea of Christmas can feel exciting, it’s very common for foster children to experience mixed emotions.

This is where therapeutic fostering and offering unconditional support and understanding to your foster child comes in. In this article, we’ll look at ways you can support and comfort your foster child and share tips for supporting foster children at Christmas, to show you how to make Christmas for foster children magical.

Christmas for Foster Children

The fact is, Christmas can be very hard for some children in care. Some may not have contact with their birth family, others might not know who their birth family are, and some might have experienced neglect and abuse during the season. Making it not feel very jolly at all.

As such, they might experience various mixed emotions – excitement, nostalgia, grief, uncertainty, sadness, and anxiety. They might have never received gifts, eaten a Christmas lunch, been to visit Santa in his grotto, or experienced the love and comfort of a secure family during the festive period.

This can make it challenging as a foster parent. You want to give your foster child the Christmas they deserve, but you also want to be sensitive to the needs and feelings of your child.

Whether you are long-term fostering, or fostering your child for a short period, these tips for supporting foster children at Christmas can help.

Helping Your Foster Child at Christmas

1. Prepare Them for the Festivities

Routine and predictability can help foster children feel more secure during the festive period. If your child is used to a certain routine, and it changes without warning for a few weeks in the lead up to Christmas, it can cause upset.

A reliable routine and structure equals safety and security. Impromptu celebrations, parties, and guests can lead your foster child to become nervous and unsettled. Ensure you keep your child feeling comfortable and settled by letting them know what’s going to happen and when – even if it’s something small like going out for a meal or seeing a Christmas film in the cinema. You can create a calendar together to mark down what events you are planning and when so they have a good idea of what is happening well in advance.

You could even involve your foster child by asking them if there is anything they would like to add to the calendar, which can give them a sense of belonging.

2. Encourage Them to Get Involved

Christmas is more than just a day. The run up to Christmas and the festive period is full of wonder, excitement, and magic. If there are traditions your family usually takes part in, involve your foster child. Everything from going out to find the perfect tree, choosing new decorations, and decorating the tree together can make wonderful memories both you and your foster child can cherish for a lifetime. Christmas traditions for foster families can be as simple or as elaborate as you want, so speak to your foster child and see if there is anything special they would like to do. You might even want to create new Christmas traditions to help build positive memories and create a sense of belonging, stability, and connection.

3. Communicate and Listen

Christmas can be a triggering time for children in care as they remember past experiences with their birth family. Whether they have never celebrated the holiday, have experienced challenging Christmases, or they miss the familiarity of their old routine, it’s common for some children to display unpredictable behaviour.

Talking and listening to your child are key to understanding and addressing the unique emotions they may be feeling about Christmas. Create a safe space for them to express their feelings, whether it’s excitement, sadness, or anxiety. If your foster child is happy to open up, gently encourage open conversations about their past experiences with Christmas, and give them the time and space to share any memories or worries. Practice active listening by being attentive and ensuring you validate their emotions. Let them know that it’s absolutely OK to feel a range of emotions, and that you are there for them to make Christmas special. Whatever that might mean.

4. Give Them a Safe Space

Christmas can be overwhelming for many of us, but it may be more so for a child who has come from a traumatic background. They may need some alone time to process their emotions, so providing them with a safe, personal space they can go to whenever they need a few minutes alone is a sensitive way to recognise this.

If your foster child ever feels overwhelmed or seems to pull away, let them know that they have the option to join in with your plans at their own pace, and that it’s OK to take breaks whenever they want. Their safe space can simply be their own bedroom, as long as it’s somewhere they can retreat to whenever they need it.

5. Try to Keep Things Calm

We know that Christmas comes with a lot of excitement and chaotic fun, especially when younger children are involved. But streams of guests, unexpected parties, and busy, loud home environments might not be the best thing for your foster child.

If your child has experienced trauma such as abuse, having strangers come to the house for holiday gatherings could cause panic and anxiety. If your foster child is unsettled, it might be best to avoid parties and just stick to more intimate, gentle celebrations at home. However, if you do have festive visitors, ensure you let your child know well in advance. You could tell them about the people coming, show them photos, and explain who they are to get them familiar with them. It’s also a good idea to prepare any guests so they can make sure they understand how your foster child might be feeling.

6. Get Support

Fostering is something that you shouldn’t do alone. At Christmas or any other time of the year, it’s important to embrace the support networks around you. At Fostering People, we have a wide range of available sources at your disposal, including therapists, support groups, and counselling services. We’re here to help you and your foster child to have a magical Christmas together.

It’s also crucial to reach out to your personal support network – friends and family and other fostering families who can lend a hand, or even a comforting ear. This not only gives you emotional support, but also opens up opportunities for your foster child to build relationships with peers who may share similar experiences. Never be afraid to ask for help. This is something we are all in together.

Support Your Foster Child at Christmas

Christmas is a wonderful opportunity to create lasting memories and provide comfort for your foster child. By following these tips and ideas, you can make a significant positive impact on your foster child’s life – both at Christmas and beyond.

While the role of a foster parent is to give the child in your care the safe and loving home they deserve, we know how important it is to have a support network around you. That’s why we offer not just exceptional support for children in care, but for our wonderful foster carers too. If you need any help, advice, or just a friendly ear to listen, we’re here for you.

Meaningful Ways to Connect with Your Foster Teen

While the idea of fostering teenagers might seem a little daunting, it can be much easier, not to mention a whole lot more fun, than you may think, as fostering a teen comes with its own set of unique challenges and rewards.

Not only can you be a part of a young person’s life during a pivotal stage, getting to know the incredible person they are, but you can help turn their life around by providing the love, security, and reliability to give them a happy and healthy future.

When fostering a teenager, it’s crucial to establish a strong and trusting relationship to support their emotional well-being and growth. We understand this isn’t always easy, especially with teenagers, but in this blog, we’ll take a look into the practical and impactful strategies you can implement with your teen. Strategies that can help you connect and help create a supportive environment to nurture their development.

8 Ways to build bonds and connect with your foster teen

Respect Their Individuality

Every teen is different and every foster teenager comes from a unique background. It’s important to acknowledge their identity and recognise their individuality.

If you have teenagers or children of your own at home, you should always avoid comparisons. Even if you’ve fostered teens before, they are all individuals and should never be compared to each other.

Your children have had the benefit of having a loving and secure home, and your foster teen might have come from a traumatic background, possibly from a completely different culture. All children need to be allowed to develop at their own pace, and being there to support and nurture them is the very best thing you can do.

Have Open and Non-Judgemental Communication

Due to their age, it’s likely that teenagers would have been exposed to more trauma in their lives. This can cause their emotions to run higher than normal. If they feel angry and frustrated, it’s probably nothing to do with you, but more a reaction to the situation, through no fault of their own, that they find themselves in.

This is why it’s important to have open and non-judgemental communication with your foster teen. Letting them know they are in a safe space and can talk to you about anything they want when they want to.

Active listening is great for this. You don’t need to pretend to understand everything they are going through, but instead, just listen. Keep eye contact, don’t interrupt when they are talking, stay focused, don’t jump to conclusions or plan what to say next and try not to impose your opinions or solutions. Let them talk and ask questions based on what they say. They might not be looking for a specific answer, but knowing that you’re there, listening, and hearing them can make a huge difference.

Enjoy Quality Time Together

A wonderful way to bond and connect with your foster teen is by simply spending time together. Talking isn’t the only way to communicate, and you might find that they open up with you more if you do the things they enjoy together.

Whether it’s bonding over cooking a family meal, going on walks together, making a regular date to go to the cinema, or having a kickabout in the park, being close to you can provide them with the stability they need to open up when they feel ready. Ask them about their interests and hobbies and show genuine interest in them. You could even ask if you can join them to show that you care about what they’re passionate about.

Keep things open, light, and positive, and don’t pry them with questions. When they feel comfortable with you they will be more likely to open up, so just keep doing what you’re doing.

Respect Their Privacy

While it’s important to let your foster teen know you are there for them whenever they want to talk, they should also be entitled to their privacy.

Speak to them about establishing boundaries and how you respect their need for privacy and personal space when they need it while letting them know you are there for them. Of course, every house has its own rules and while they should be granted their privacy, if there are some things you feel you need to know; such as curfews, who they are seeing, or if they are dating, make sure these boundaries are laid out so they understand them.

Let them know that there are certain things you need to know to ensure their safety and explain the reasons behind them. Your teen is more likely to respect the rules on privacy if they understand they are in place for their safety and security.

Provide Stability

Stability is a luxury that many foster teens have never experienced. Having a consistent and stable routine can create a sense of security, especially if your teenager experienced upheaval and trauma in the past.

Many teenagers in care have been abused or neglected by their own families, or their parents have been unable to keep them safe. By providing a stable, nurturing, and supportive home, you’ll be assuring them that you are there for them consistently, even during difficult times.

Empower Decision-Making

Teenagers, no matter how grown-up they feel, still need parenting. This is especially true with foster teens, as they have likely come from a challenging background.

However, they also need the right balance of discipline, support, and guidance, especially when it comes to decision-making. While they want to be taken seriously, they might find it tricky to own the responsibility of decision-making. So, involve them in choices, whether it’s about household rules or personal matters.

Encouraging autonomy and allowing them to make decisions can help their self-confidence and teach them the importance of consequences. These are vital life skills that can help them now and into adulthood.

Celebrate Achievements

We all need to feel praise in our lives, no matter how old we are, and your foster teen is no exception. To help build a meaningful connection, you should always acknowledge their milestones, so matter how small or significant.

Celebrating their achievements can help boost their self-esteem, give them a sense of accomplishment, and show them that you’re invested in them and their journey. You should always offer words of praise and encouragement to show you recognise your teen’s efforts and that you value how well they are doing. A little encouragement and praise really can go a long way.

Provide Emotional Support

It’s completely normal for teenagers to push boundaries (and your buttons), and this can make things complicated when parenting.

While teens are at the beginning stages of making decisions about things that have real consequences, and they might feel like they know everything, you need to remember they aren’t great at regulating their emotions yet.

Providing emotional support at a time when they might be frustrated or closed off is something you can do to show you’re there for them and that you understand.

At Fostering People, we understand that providing emotional support for your foster teen can sometimes be challenging. That’s why we’re here to support children in care, you, and your family. Our team of foster specialists and social workers are available 24/7 to help, whether it’s to answer tricky questions or just a friendly ear to listen to your concerns.

And our comprehensive and ongoing foster care training will provide you with everything you need to be the best foster carer you can be.

Make a Difference in a Teen’s Life with Fostering People

If you’re keen to take on the amazing challenge of fostering a teenager, helping to turn their life around, and giving them the positive and secure future they need, then we would love to hear from you.

Give our team a call today to have a chat about transferring foster care agencies, and together we can give teenagers in care the life they deserve.

The Unseen Effects of Childhood Trauma

When you think of a traumatic experience, many people immediately imagine something drastic like fighting in a war, being a victim of a serious car crash, or surviving a serious illness. However, in childhood, traumatic events are often less severe than this, and they can have long-lasting, hidden impacts that will affect the child throughout their childhood and into their adult life.

Almost everybody has experienced some kind of traumatic experience in childhood. Remember that as children, we are less able to regulate our emotions. Our ability to see the bigger picture does not start to develop until around the age of five or six, and kids are much more focused on themselves than adults. This means that events that you may not consider to be very traumatic for an adult can have a significant effect on children who may blame themselves for it happening.

Dealing with an angry parent, a parent with addiction problems, or witnessing domestic violence in the home are all traumatic events for children. Even an amicable divorce or separation of parents can become a very traumatic experience for a child who may not be able to comprehend what is happening or see the parents’ point of view, leading them to blame themselves for what they perceive as abandonment.

Adverse Childhood Experiences

There are certain adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) that children may experience before the age of 18 that can have a lasting impact on their mental and physical health. It is important to bear in mind that events that may not impact adults as much can have a long-lasting effect on children since childhood is such a vulnerable time and the brain is still developing. Some examples of ACEs include:

  • Parents separating or divorcing
  • Abandonment or neglect
  • Experiencing physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
  • Being a child in a household where there is alcoholism or substance abuse present
  • One or more parents being mentally unwell
  • One or more parents being in prison
  • Losing a family member to suicide
  • Witnessing domestic violence within the home

How Trauma Affects the Developing Brain

Children are still developing, and the brain continues to develop until the age of 25. Because of this, experiencing a traumatic event in childhood, or living through a prolonged traumatic experience can cause the child’s brain to develop differently to how it normally should.

Children who experience ACEs and traumatic events in their childhood might experience a range of side effects including difficulty forming relationships with others, depression, anxiety, a higher risk of substance abuse, and a higher risk of suicide attempts. The impacts of childhood trauma do not go away when the child grows up and reaches adulthood. Adults who experienced childhood trauma are more likely to have health and social difficulties.

Complex PTSD

Complex PTSD is a common response in people who have been in a traumatic situation, such as witnessing domestic violence at home, for a prolonged period. Complex PTSD differs from PTSD. With PTSD, which is often associated with soldiers, the symptoms are the result of one traumatic event. For example, somebody who struggles with symptoms of anxiety, flashbacks, and panic attacks after being involved in a car crash is struggling with PTSD.

Complex PTSD is a condition that can develop in somebody who has been trapped in a traumatic situation for a prolonged period with no immediate way out. This is most common in children from abusive households, or households where one or more parent has drug abuse or alcohol problems, or a mental health condition that impacts their parenting style. Children may feel powerless to do anything about the situation that they are in, which can further the trauma that they experience.

Complex PTSD is a complicated condition, and symptoms are not often obvious. Children with complex PTSD may experience behavioural issues, or struggle with panic attacks, depression, and anxiety. It can also cause emotional flashbacks, which are flashbacks where the child feels the same way as they did when they were in the traumatic situation.

Life in Survival Mode

Children who are brought up in toxic households and experience traumatic situations quickly learn to live their life in survival mode. This is especially true in the case of a child who has been brought up by one or more abusive parents. In this situation, children quickly learn to be on high alert all the time. This causes the amygdala, which is the ‘fight or flight’ centre of the brain, to become over-developed. At the same time, the child is not getting as much of a chance to develop the other parts of their brain that deal with things like building relationships, empathy, and learning.

A child who has grown up in or spent a lot of time in this kind of volatile situation may be too busy being on high alert that they struggle with doing anything else. They may always expect the worst to happen, and it may seem like they find it impossible to relax. While retraining the brain to not be on high alert all the time is not something that can happen overnight, providing a physically and emotionally safe place for the child is a good place to start.

Dorsal Vagal Shutdown

Most of us have heard about the fight or flight response, where your brain and body prepare to respond to a perceived or real threat by either running away from it or fighting it head-on. However, there are two other main responses that may not be as well-known: the freeze and fawn responses. These responses may show up in children who have found that fleeing or fighting doesn’t help the situation for them.

Dorsal vagal shutdown is the final stage of the threat response process, where the body and mind start to shut off and become numb. A ‘freeze’ response is not uncommon when a child or an adult is in dorsal vagal shutdown. They may find it difficult to do the things that they enjoy or focus on the things that they need to do such as schoolwork. They may seem unresponsive at times or present as depressed. If traditional depression treatments, such as anti-depressants or talk therapy are having no effect, then it is more likely to be dorsal vagal shutdown than typical depression.

The fawn response is another common one to look out for in children who have been abused or have lived in a toxic situation. This is often common in children who have learned over time that simply doing what their abuser wanted meant that they would get out of the situation faster or be safer. Children with a fawn response might not know how to set healthy boundaries or may become people pleasers, saying yes to everything without knowing how to give any consideration to how they feel.

Disorganised Attachment Style

Each person has an attachment style – this is typically either secure, anxious, dismissive-avoidant, or disorganised (also known as fearful-avoidant). In children who have experienced trauma, a fearful avoidant or disorganised attachment style tends to be more common.

Attachment styles can change throughout our lives, but our childhood experiences tend to have the biggest impact on shaping them. In the case of a disorganised attachment style, this tends to develop when the person in the child’s life who is meant to be a source of support and safety for them, such as a parent or main care giver, is also abusive or harmful in some way to the child. This combination of safety and fear coming from the same person is confusing for the young brain, leading to a situation where the child wants a connection with others, but is also very fearful of it, and might push it away when they get it, which is characteristic of a fearful avoidant attachment style.

Comfortable in Chaos

Children who have been brought up in chaotic, toxic, and abusive homes may know no different. Their brain has gotten used to the highs and lows of this kind of environment, which is why it’s not uncommon for them to be ‘comfortable in chaos’.

This isn’t to say that a child who has been through trauma enjoys chaos – far from it. However, their brain may be used to the ‘calm before the storm’ from their previous environment. It may take some time for them to get used to being in a calm, safe household where they do not have to wait for the other shoe to drop.

Hidden Effects of Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma impacts the life of the child or adult who has experienced it in many ways. These may not always be immediately obvious as a side effect of the traumatic event or traumatic period that they have experienced.

If you are looking to become a foster parent with us or need a transfer foster agency, it is essential to become trauma-informed and have a solid understanding of how trauma can shape the behaviour and responses of your foster child.

Childhood trauma isn’t just about experiencing drastic events as a child. There are several adverse childhood experiences that can alter a child’s brain and behaviour for a long time. Understanding how trauma affects children and how it might show up in a child’s behaviour is essential for foster parents.

At Fostering People we use the PACE therapeutic model with all of our fostering families. Our therapeutic approach means that through our support and training we’ll help you to understand children’s behaviour and work together to start to heal the effects of the trauma they have experienced.

© Copyright 2025 Fostering People. All rights reserved.