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While opening their home to foster children was her idea initially, Stevie needed a little bit more convincing.

Mhairi said: “I remember telling him that he’s seen the struggles of low-income families, growing up where he did. Children with a lot of additional needs that might not be getting the support that they need, kids from his area that could do with a family like the one we’ve got, and he agreed.”

A dream team

The pair attribute some of their success as foster parents to the skills they have picked up from running the hotel. Working in hospitality has allowed them to work with people from several different backgrounds, something they’ve found useful on their new fostering journey.

“It’s even taught me how to deal with some challenging situations involving traditions and customs from different cultures as well,” Stevie added.

Mhairi and Stevie have also found that running the hotel together has meant they can better balance parenting and their roles as hoteliers.

“It’d definitely be more difficult if we didn’t work together. We have a great dynamic and relationship where one of us can pick up the slack at work if the other one is concentrating on things at home and vice versa. It means we can juggle things quite nicely.

“That’s not to say it can’t be done if you don’t work together! It’s just a bit easier when we can shift the school drop-offs and things – we just make sure we talk to each other and share the load.”

What’s different about life now that they’re foster parents

“The lack of sleep!” half-joked Mhairi. “I need way more sleep than Stevie, so he kindly takes most of the mornings.”

“I think it’s how organised we need to be now,” Stevie explained. “If we’re heading out, we need to make sure we’ve got a bag packed for the kids. Snacks, drinks, spare clothes, you know. Everything also needs to have some structure, as Ricky* can sometimes get a little unsettled – sometimes that can be tough.”

The couple did explain however that they are now able to regain some spontaneity.

“It’s not a carefree life of course, it won’t be with any kid but it’s getting easier. Ricky* is learning to trust us more and is getting more familiar with things. They’ve both really settled in actually, it’s lovely to see. Seeing them become less anxious and more comfortable has been really rewarding.”

Mythbusting with Mhairi and Stevie

When asked if they wanted to bust any myths about fostering, the couple both brought up the idea that children in care are ‘bad kids’.

“Foster children are no more difficult than someone’s own children. Yes, they may have some quirks and there might be some traits you need to get your head around but that isn’t specific to kids from care,” said Mhairi.

Stevie agreed adding: “There’s no such a thing as a bad child. You do hear all the rumours that kids in care are going to be nightmares but they’re just not. They might  have had some challenges in life, which they’ve often had no control over.”

Another myth Mhairi wanted to bust was the fact that people often assume you can’t have another job alongside being a foster parent.

“There are types of fostering which require you to be dedicated to that role only but for long-term fostering, it’s absolutely possible to work and parent. You can build your life around both things.”

Advice for new and prospective foster parents

Steve had some advice for new foster parents.

“Keep your eyes open for training opportunities. There’s so much to do and learn.

Mhairi’s advice? To take everything with a pinch of salt.

“Things like reports can be very formal and intimidating. I’ve read reports before and thought ‘Oh no, are we doing the right thing? Our life’s going to be turned upside down!’ Take things with a pinch of salt and be open-minded. A child’s report isn’t their identity, it can often boil down to the situations they’ve previously been in.”

*Child’s name has been changed for anonymity

Yvonne is passionate about fostering. She has dedicated almost three decades of her life to it; her Fostering People journey began in 2008. As a black woman in the East Midlands, a predominantly white area, she is devoted to providing an inclusive space for dual heritage and black children. A safe place for these children to learn, grow and develop without anyone asking probing questions, or looking at them in strange ways because their skin is not the same colour as their “parents’”.

“It didn’t bother me, the questioning,” started Yvonne, “but I can’t help but think about how confusing this must have been for the children. We had a pair of Turkish siblings in our care for a while, they were the most delightful children, but they were light skinned, and everybody wanted to know who I was. The children must have realised that I wasn’t quite theirs in some way. The only good thing was that if I told someone I was in foster care, they became interested in fostering and would start asking me questions. And the awareness in the local area grew, all because I was looking after children with a different skin tone to me.”

Whilst Yvonne appreciates that mixed ethnicity foster placements can and do work, she thinks it’s important that young black people in foster care have a space where they can grow into their own culture. Yvonne explained:  “Training and varied experiences can help, and you can read all the books you like,  but sometimes you have to live it to know it. Often in the East Midlands young people in care will go to school with a majority of white people, then come home to white people but it’s important that they are able to experience their own culture.”

She continued: “To me, it’s important that young black people see black people other than those that are on TV. We want them to see positive role models and professional people. I was formerly an accountant and my husband Michael is project manager with a housing association. It’s so important to their ambitions and expectations in life to see  black people other than the negative stereotypes being portrayed on TV. I think this is getting better, but there is still a long way to go.”

Currently, Yvonne supports three children through foster care and has one teenager who is on a guardianship placement. His older sister was in a guardianship placement too, but she now lives at university full time, and comes back to visit on occasion. Some foster parents like to keep count of the number of children they have supported, but this is something that Yvonne never thought to do, she said: “I don’t think the numbers matter. It’s more about how long you have managed to be a part of their life, and the influence that you can have. Have they felt safe in your care? Have you provided them with the right environment? I never want to turn these kids out, I want to help them grow and be safe.”

Yvonne is calling for more foster carers to come forward throughout Newark, and the rest of the East Midlands. She believes that too many people see fostering as quite an old fashioned concept, and that there are not enough conversations being had. Yvonne divulged: “I think it’s shrouded in mystery, the perception is of older women knitting in their living rooms doing a bit of childminding on the side… But that’s not what is really happening. Nowadays, it’s more of a profession that comes with professional rewards and the satisfaction of a ‘job’ well done. It would be great to see more young people coming forward to foster, and they need to learn about the difference that they can make.”

Foster care is not without its challenges, but it is an incredibly rewarding journey if you allow it to be. Yvonne stressed some key traits that all foster parents should have, including flexibility, confidence and strong mindedness. She said: “Just because a child looks lovely, it doesn’t mean they are going to be a little angel. You have to deal with lots of people in a variety of settings and you need to have the strength to manage the situation. Rose tinted glasses will not work in foster care! For us, we just look for the  joy in what we do, and we know that there will always be another child who needs our help, support and love.”

Fostering People is on the lookout for more foster parents to join their team of passionate carers. When considering fostering your age, gender, sexuality, ethnicity or religious beliefs are not brought into the consideration. If you have a spare bedroom, and a loving home environment to offer to children and young people throughout the East Midlands, then foster care could be right for you.

A former lorry driver from Yorkshire, Ian, always knew something was missing until he started fostering just over three years ago.

Ian and his wife Ruth started their fostering journey together with Fostering People back in 2019, after realising what they could give to so many vulnerable children.

He said: “I was previously married for 26 years, I could never have kids of my own. When I met my second wife Ruth, she turned to me and asked, ‘If there’s anything in the world I could give you, what would it be?’ I said, ‘it has to be kids’.”

Ian continued: “My stepson is a dancer. At the dance school he went to there were two foster parents.

We started to get to know them and understand more about the process of fostering. That was when we realised that we could do that, we could give children a chance in life.”

Ian reveals how being a primary fostering carer has changed his life for the better. He said: “ I love it. I wish I had done it 20 years ago. I love every minute, even the training!

“It was a fast process for us, we had two placements within the first month of signing up. Jack* is 17 now and he’s staying put, he asked us last year if he can stay with us long term. We have now built him his own extension on the house for him to live in independently to prepare him for adult life. He’s a lovely lad.

We also have Sophie*, who is now 13, she came to us when she was nine. We fell on our feet 100% with these two. ”

He continued: “We then put in to foster another child with having a big spare room in the house. We were contacted to say they had two girls in Bradford who had to be split up from their other two sisters. I didn’t want them to be split up so we took all of them. Now we have all four since last week!

They are seven, eight, ten and twelve.” Ian is now living the life he always wanted, he said: “I used to be a lorry driver but this is real life. I’m never solitary, I’ve always got company around me. Fostering has fulfilled more than I could have ever expected and wished for. This is exactly what I’ve been missing.”
When asked about what changes he sees in the children, he said: “Jack* used to be someone who sulked all the time, he never said how he was feeling. I see this much less now. We have now got to the point where he wants to speak to me about what he’s feeling.”

His first father’s day with the foster children is a moment he will never forget, he said: “I still have a heart here at the side of my chair that Sophie* gave me on Father’s Day with a poem on it. Jack* and Sophie* both presented me with a card. It was an amazing feeling. It was the same feeling I had when my step-son first gave me a Father’s Day card.”

For anyone worried about taking the step to start fostering, Ian said: “Leap, just take the leap. You will never ever look back.”

*names have been changed to protect the children’s identity.

Foster mother Caroline (Caz) has been fostering with Fostering People for almost 10 years, and recognises the different ways that children, young people and their mother figures acknowledge Mother’s Day.

There are close to 80,000 looked after children in the UK, all of whom will have different relationships with their mothers and will approach mother’s day differently this year.

Caz said: “I have looked after children of all ages throughout my fostering career. When I had teenagers we never celebrated Mother’s Day on Mother’s Day, and we didn’t make a fuss, and that was for their benefit.

“But the little ones I have now, they have all made me Mother’s Day cards at school! At school, it doesn’t matter who takes care of you, any variation on a blended family is accepted. It doesn’t matter who you are, you still get celebrated, and that’s wonderful.”

Caz has been taking care of her three foster daughters, aged 6, 7, 8 for the last four years, and supports them to have interactions with their biological parents whilst providing them with stability, continuity and a loving home.

“To me, motherhood means being someone who is present, around the clock, for anything. When children are small, you are their world, and it doesn’t make any difference whether that relationship is biological.” said Caz.

Caz does have a biological son too who is now 31, and is fully supportive of Caz’s fostering journey. He describes his mum as ‘fabulous and awesome’ for the work that she does.

Before Caz’s foster journey began, she had long standing jobs in financial management and a sewing factory. She said: “I had to miss out on a lot when I was raising my own son because of work and life, so I feel like I am really making up for it now by providing these children and young people with a loving home.

“One of the girls I used to look after moved just down the road from me. She has since had her own children, who call me ‘Granny Caz’! Britney is a fantastic mother, and it is a real pleasure to see her blossoming in her own adult life.”

Britney, now 21, has a 4 year old and 3 month old and praised Caz for providing her with the skills she needed to be a great mum herself.

Britney said: “When I was living with my biological mother growing up it was quite an unconventional environment.

“It wasn’t until I moved in with Caz that I realised what parenting is supposed to look like. If it wasn’t for Caz I wouldn’t be parenting my own children the right way, and I am confident that I know how to do that now.”

She continued: “We had a lot of ups and downs when I was living with Caz. I lived with her from the age of 13 – 17, and we were just like any other family I suppose! Sometimes we argued with each other, sometimes we loved each other.

“Now that I am a parent myself I can see the reasons that Caz did what she did. I definitely wouldn’t be the person I am today without Caz, and that’s why I celebrate her on Mother’s Day.”

Britney also has a relationship with her biological mother and will wish her a very Happy Mother’s Day too.

Britney said: “It’s nice that I can now wish my own mum a Happy Mother’s Day, but Caz was the one who provided me with that closeness when I was teenager. It’s amazing what foster parents can do.”

Caz said: “For me, fostering is all about making the commitment and saying to those children: I am here, this is your home, and whatever happens I am here for you.

“Although I am a foster parent, I am Caz, and am their mum in every way except the name.

“But by providing foster care to children who need it, I am able to ensure they receive that love and stability when their own parents weren’t able, but also help them to rekindle those relationships when it’s appropriate.”

Nicola, 43 and her husband, Richard, who are based in Redcar, have been fostering for three years and in that time, they have fostered three children who are siblings.

Nicola has always loved working with children, right from when she left school, as she explains; “I started off as a nursery nurse as soon as I left secondary school and then studied at college to achieve my National Nursery Examination Board qualification. After a few years, I worked my way up to after school club manager and holiday coordinator – it really was my passion.”

She added: “Myself and my husband are very family orientated people and we had discussed fostering before as we both are caring people and wanted to make a difference to children’s lives. However, it all really fell into place one day when we heard an advert on the radio in the car which featured a fostering agency calling out for new foster carers to come forward.

“We just looked at each other and said, ‘why not?!’ now is the right time for us in our lives to do this. We just wanted to be able to show children what our family life is like and that’s where it all began.”

Nicola explains that her family and friends are a huge part of their journey; “We have a really great support network; my parents help us out a lot and they are risk assessed which means they can look after the foster children if needs be. My friends are fantastic too and will always be there for me when I need them.”

Welcoming foster children into their family home has made a huge difference to family life, as Nicola explains; “We get to spend so much more time together now doing fun activities. Our son was 16 when we began fostering so he was very independent, but we do now make the effort to spend more time all together as a family.

“We have family board game nights, movie nights, we go out for big walks and we love going on trips out too! Fostering has made a huge positive impact on our family life.”

However, fostering during the coronavirus pandemic has brought along its challenges, as Nicola explains; “Initially it was quite difficult, especially with the home-schooling side of things, but we have just pushed on through it and tried to make the homeschooling lessons a little bit more fun for the children.

“Whilst homeschooling, we really enjoyed teaching the children ‘life lessons’ as well as their traditional subjects, including things they wouldn’t necessarily learn in school, such as how to run a house and what bills mean and why we pay them!

“We also taught them about money skills and about saving, which really helped them to learn a bit more about independence, so that when they do eventually leave us, they will be more prepared.”

Fostering can sometimes be a difficult process, as Nicola has found; “For us, I think the hardest thing was the initial behaviour patterns the children had. Their manners weren’t brilliant, and we had to work to understand why that was.

“We took some time to get to know the children and their little quirks and they took the time to get to know us and our quirks. In the they end they were able to understand the house rules and we worked through those negative behaviours.”

When Nicola’s eldest foster child came into her care, he was struggling with his weight, as Nicola explains; “Due to him initially being overweight, he was unfortunately struggling a lot with his asthma, which was difficult to see. However, through us encouraging healthy eating and with increased exercise as a family, he has actually lost quite a lot of weight and his asthma is non-existent, to the point where he is hopefully coming off all of his medication soon.

“That for us is a massive success because he came to us in such a poor state of health and we, as a family, helped him to overcome that. He is now super fit and within the healthy weight range which is just so amazing to see!”

This isn’t the only difference Nicola and her husband have made to a child’s life, as Nicola explains; “It’s also just the little differences that mean the most. When the children arrived, they were nine and eleven and they couldn’t tie their shoelaces. They had poor manners and they were behind in their schooling, and now looking back, so much has changed and they have improved so much into happy, well rounded young people, which is just so rewarding to be a part of.”

Nicola believes that Fostering People have helped them significantly throughout their journey: “Once we got to panel and were approved as foster carers back in July 2018, it was just an amazing, rewarding feeling. Although at first the initial process is fairly intrusive, it really is all for the greater good! With Fostering People’s support, it took around five to six months from start to finish for us, which is great.”

For those considering fostering, Nicola has this piece of advice; “Just go for it! Think about the difference that you are going to make to these children’s lives. These young people will remember you for forevermore, so even if you make just a small impact on their lives now, it will hopefully have a really positive outcome for them in the future!”

If you have a spare room and would like to know more about short term fostering or how to become a foster parent, please give us a call on 0800 077 8159 today. 

I never intended to be a foster carer. In late 1994, I was in my mid-thirties, free and single.  I was part of a black women’s group that dealt with issues such as domestic violence and housing – it was also a netball team. My only experience was of working with teenagers as a part-time youth worker.  One evening another woman in the group, a social worker, mentioned that the council had come up with a new initiative to recruit ‘black foster carers to look after our black children’, and would anybody be interested?  I thought to myself, “I could do that”- and tentatively asked for more information.

Despite not having the profile that would be expected of a prospective carer nowadays – I had no experience of raising children and I was working full-time (in those days it was a vocation rather than a profession), I found myself attending training sessions and being part of a small group of like-minded people who wanted to make a difference particularly (but not exclusively) to children and young people who reminded us of our younger selves.

The training and assessment process didn’t seem to last long and in May 1995 a 13 year old dual heritage girl arrived at my door. She was a pleasure to look after and stayed with me for a few months before returning home.  She was followed by 2 more girls (dual heritage, one after the other) again they each stayed for a short while before moving on.  Neither of these were the easiest of placements, but we got through it.  Then came the whirlwinds that were N & D, 2 small boys, again of dual heritage, aged 5yrs & 3yrs at the time.  I think this was when my fostering career really started! Remember, I was on my own and working full time…  Somehow we got through each day, D in particular was prone to tantrums & swearing at inappropriate times, there were many times I could have said ‘enough is enough’.  Along came Michael, my now husband – who would have thought he would take all 3 of us on?  He was (is) very supportive and we continued on.  We saw these boys through their teenage years and they are now 31yrs and 29yrs and we are still in contact with them.  Whilst caring for N & D, we joined a private fostering company formed in the mid-90s and in quick succession we had 3 more boys of black & dual heritage.  These placements were difficult, they were all in their early teens and exhibited very challenging behaviour- absconding, alcohol abuse, glue sniffing, to name a few and needless to say the behaviours were having a negative impact on N & D.  As this was the general nature of young people (many from residential settings or fostering breakdowns, so ‘difficult to place’), coming through the private fostering agencies at the time, we reverted back to fostering solely for the local authority.  The LA then asked us to look after 2 more brothers (dual heritage aged 2 and 5 at the time) and when I finally gave up full-time work another boy (dual heritage 13yrs) came to live with us and for many years we were a happy band of myself, Michael and the 5 boys.

In 2004, Michael secured a job which involved him working mainly in Lincolnshire.  The boys were either in or heading towards their teenage years and a couple of them were starting to exhibit more challenging behaviour and mixing with ‘the wrong crowd’.  We decided to move from the city to a smaller town closer to Michael’s job. The town (where we still live) is predominantly made up of White British people, any non-British residents being mainly of Polish heritage, people from black or Asian backgrounds are still very few and far between.  Imagine 5 boys of dual heritage walking into the local school! The girls were a bit too interested….

Our boys settled in well and they all made firm friends amongst their mainly White British peers which most of them still keep in touch with.  I think it helped that they had each other and also they were secure in their placement with us. I feel that being with an ‘ordinary’ black family helped them to feel more positive about their own heritage -­­­ they didn’t need to live up to the (usually negative) media stereotype of what a black boy should be, they could just be themselves. It wasn’t all plain sailing and they still had their issues, but now when they meet each other they will reminisce about their time together – they see our family as family, not as individual foster children who just ended up in the same placement.

We joined Fostering People in 2008, by that time all the boys except one had moved on, a couple onto Independence, another 2 unfortunately did start to get involved in criminal behaviour and so went into residential care.  We were also looking after 2 children of Gambian origin, R & E, a girl aged 6 and a boy aged 2.  These were the most delightful, polite children you could wish to look after, and the LA knowing we were moving onto FP wanted to put them back with their own in-house foster carers. (They were placed with us after we told them we were switching to Fostering People, but they placed them anyway, thinking they could pull them out before our approval was finalised).  After a battle with the LA, they finally acknowledged how well the children were doing and with very vocal support for us from the children’s school, they agreed they could remain with us.  In 2015 we took out special guardianship on R & E, they were then aged 14 and 10 years. R is just about to turn 20 this month and is now settled at a prestigious musical theatre school (affiliated to the Universtiy of Bedfordshire, one of only 40 chosen from several thousand applicants) and E is now 16 and working hard on his GCSE’s.  E really wanted to show his support for the Black Lives Matter cause last summer, and the local church had organised a march (to be honest it was more of a stroll).  E was featured in the local newspaper holding his BLM poster, proud of being a young black man even, if there are not many others like him in this area.

Over our 27 years of fostering, we have looked after numerous other young people, some for a few weeks or months including children of other ethnicities eg: K a 15 year old boy from Afghanistan, who arrived in Kent and was quickly sent onto Nottinghamshire to a black family (us) – we had almost nothing in common with him, communication was difficult, we knew very little about his Muslim faith and it is difficult in a small town to source Halal meals and find a mosque for him to worship in.  Who knew that in the local school there were 2 other boys from Afghanistan who lived with their uncle who also ran a takeaway? Food sorted, but no-one wants to live off takeaways, so we took regular trips to Nottingham to shop for halal foods.  Also, there was a local ‘mosque’ in a community centre just a few streets away from where we live.  It’s surprising what’s on your doorstep if you ask the right questions.  One of the tasks involved for sanctuary seeking young people is to help with the immigration process, this involves many trips to his solicitor and conversations through an interpreter.  He now has ‘leave to remain’ until 2023, so he is able to work and, providing he keeps himself out of trouble, he can apply for an indefinite stay after this date. K stayed with us for just under 2 years and we were delighted when he found family members in London that agreed to take him in.  He still calls from time to time to say “hello, Mom” – he’s the only young person I have looked after to refer to me as ‘Mom’.

We also had a sibling group of 3 (of Jamaican heritage), each of these young people had their issues but we were able to provide care and support to them for some years, one into independence after a period of ‘Staying Put’, the other 2 unfortunately moved on to residential care due to some challenging behaviours.

Along the way there have been a few White British children placed with us, we’ve also had Turkish/WB and Asian/WB children.  It is noticeable that when we have children that are clearly not of the same ethnicity as us, eyebrows shoot up, especially on the school run.  You can sense people’s curiosity – why is that woman with that child – is she the nanny?  In fact, one mother knocked on my door having found out we both lived on the same estate –  she asked if she could leave her child with me because she hadn’t realised it was an inset day and she urgently needed childcare!  In all the years I’ve done the school run with R & E (the children of Gambian heritage) no-one has batted an eyelid, but the differing skin tones seem to raise people’s curiosity and people who you have never spoken to before suddenly become interested.  It’s a good recruiting tactic as I am always asked about fostering! I’m sure it’s the same for white carers with non-white children in their care and they will definitely have their own tales to tell.

Another strange story:  I had taken a young person to audition for ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ (he didn’t get very far in the process, but he should have got a prize for enthusiasm!). Anyway, there was a Nigerian woman with her son sitting next to us, we got talking and one of our children told her we were a foster family.  Straight away she asked me to help her – could I take her son because him and his father didn’t get along and she didn’t know what to do!  She was very serious and I’m sure she would have given him to me if I had agreed. I could only advise her to contact her local social services – I still wonder how that turned out.

We have really enjoyed our career as foster parents, there are so many stories, some you couldn’t make up. We are currently looking after 2 lovely children (aged 6 and 4 of Caribbean/African heritage) and supporting them through the adoption process.  A fantastic family has been found for them (WB/African-Caribbean) and I’m sure this will be the start of a wonderful future for all involved.  We wish them all well.

A conversation 27 years ago has led to a life of many new experiences for myself and Michael. I’ve been to prison (only visiting!) on several occasions, seen the inside of more police stations than I would wish, learnt about Afghanistan and it’s culture, played our part in preparing children for adoption, become a parent through Special Guardianship and sat through numerous Musical Theatre performances.  We’ve supported children through good and difficult times, 2 of our children lost their mother through a drugs overdose and another young person met his birth father for the very first time visiting him in prison.  I have made a point of including the children’s ethnicities in this article as I wanted to remind myself that it was the emphasis on looking for ‘black foster carers for our black children’ that was instrumental in me putting my hand up at that first meeting, I’m not sure I would have reacted in the same way if it was just a general request for foster carers.  The training and support given to foster parents nowadays means that we are all very capable of looking after children from all ethnicities, this was just the ‘lightbulb moment’ for me.

If you have a spare room and would like to know more about long term fostering or how to become a foster parent, please give us a call on 0800 077 8159 today. 

Steve 63, and his wife, Lorraine, 59, who are based in County Durham, have been fostering for seven years and have fostered three children who are siblings on a long-term basis ever since they were approved.

Steve and Lorraine were approved as foster parents in January 2014 and since then, they have fostered three siblings, two girls and one boy, with the eldest being with them on a staying put agreement.

Steve left his job as a professional manager after 27 years in the industry. Originally, Steve’s five-year plan was to do something worthwhile that would give him a sense of satisfaction from a humanistic point of view, before moving to sunny Tenerife to enjoy his retirement.

As Lorraine, Steve’s wife, had worked with children as a career previously, Steve had an understanding of the varying experiences, which encouraged him to consider fostering and seemed a natural path for Steve to do, which was rewarding and helpful.

Steve explains; “Myself and Lorraine have raised children of our own who are settled and all in a great place in life, which gave us a base understanding of looking after children.”

Steve continues; “From my point of view, I managed a team of 50 during my career, with some being under 18 and a lot over 18, which ultimately gave me great experience in seeing how different people react to certain situations. I believe it was actually this that set me in good stead, as I knew there is “no size fits all” easy solution, and sometimes it was like dealing with a bunch of big kids anyway!”

However, Steve believes it is the support he has received that has made all the difference; “as well as having a network of family and friends, we have really great, strong support from our agency, Fostering People across the board, and I can’t speak highly enough of our Supervising Social Worker who has always been there for us.”

Steve continues, “I come from a really close family environment, and everyone from our parents to our children have been fully supportive in what we are doing, to the point that the children are just part of our family, and we all meet up from time to time.”

However, fostering does not come without its challenges, as Steve explains, “Over the years we have had our share of challenges. We have dealt with many varying issues, varying from lack of routines or boundaries, very few possessions, parental let downs, depression, self-harming, friendship issues, severe temper tantrums, drug and alcohol abuse and being educationally behind at school, so I am not sure there is anything else we are yet to experience!”

He continues; “We try to approach every issue with a ‘common-sense’ approach, trying to get the views in of the child themselves, seeking as much support as you can, and generally being an advocate and shoulder to lean on as much as you can, coupled with a healthy dose of care and love.”

Although Steve believes this is where Fostering becomes one of the greatest things you can do, as he mentions “There have been many challenges, but to watch them come through stronger and their personalities shine brighter, whilst seeing how happy they have become, makes it all worth it!”

There have been many special moments for Steve whilst fostering, as he explains; “The progress that each one of the children has achieved has been amazing to see! The affection you get from them is lovely, and the fact that they know they are loved as well is something that money simply can’t buy!”

Steve continues; “However, if I had to pick one standout moment, it would be the transformation of our eldest, who is now 18 years old. She has gone from being perhaps a little troublesome to a lovely, level-headed, kind person who has just started a full-time position as a Teaching Assistant and says she never wants to leave us, which I think from somebody at 18 years old is a lovely sentiment!”

Steve’s initial five-year plan has now changed drastically, as he explains; “We have been fostering now for nearly 8 years with the same children, considering this was only a temporary placement and our plan was to go and live in Tenerife, I think we may have got the bug! We have taken a small number of children on short-term respite across the years, which have been successful and great experience for our children.”

For anyone considering fostering, Steve has the following advice: “The overall process was smooth, and whilst it did involve a lot of initial hard work and training, it prepared you where possible for the road ahead. We went into fostering with an open mind and an open heart and I wish I had done it years before I did!”

He continues; “Whilst a lot of the time it isn’t easy, the emotional rewards can be great. Don’t do it for the money but do it for the help, love and support you can give and the fact that you can change a child’s life for the better! Ps, it helps if you have a sense of humour!”

If you have a spare room and would like to know more about sibling fostering or how to become a foster parent, please give us a call on 0800 077 8159 today.