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7 Things to Do If You Feel Angry

If you are angry, there are some good things to do that will help you deal with feeling like this, stay in control, and manage how you react.

June 12 2023 - 3 min read

Feeling angry sometimes is normal. Anger is an emotion, and all people have emotions. Everybody that you know has felt angry before. Sometimes, anger is a normal feeling to have after something bad has happened. For example, if somebody calls you a nasty name, or steals something from you, it’s normal, and OK, to feel angry with them.

What you do when you are angry is very important. There are healthy and unhealthy ways to deal with feeling angry. Making sure that you stay in control of yourself is the most important thing. If you are not in control of yourself, then you might do something when you are angry that you might feel bad about later, like breaking something.

If you are angry, there are some good things to do that will help you deal with feeling like this, stay in control, and manage how you react.

Accept How You Feel

Don’t try and fight the feeling of being angry. Sometimes it’s normal and OK to feel angry. If something has happened in your life that you don’t feel is fair to you, or has hurt you, then it’s OK to feel angry about it. Accepting how you feel is important as you will stay in control of the feeling rather than letting the feeling control you. Remember that it is just a feeling and feelings aren’t good or bad; they are just feelings. You don’t have to be ashamed or upset with yourself for feeling angry.

Tell Somebody You Trust

When you are feeling angry, it can sometimes help to let somebody that you trust know how you are feeling. Speak to somebody who you know can help you calm down by staying calm themselves and letting you know that it is OK to feel angry about whatever has made you feel like this. This might be your foster parent, a counsellor, a social worker, or a teacher, for example. A safe and calm person can be a very good influence on you if you feel angry and are struggling to stay in control of your reactions.

Go for a Walk

If you are old enough to go for a walk on your own, then getting out for some fresh air and exercise can help you stay calm and get back in control if you are feeling angry. If you are not old enough to go out for a walk on your own, then ask somebody that you trust like your foster parent or an older sibling if they can go for a walk with you. It is sometimes good to get away from the situation or person that is causing you to feel angry. Going for a walk and taking yourself away from the situation is a good way to do this, but only do it if you will be safe. For example, don’t go for a walk in the middle of the night. Try another one of these ideas instead.

Spend Time in a Safe Place

Going to a safe place such as your bedroom to spend some time there can help if you are feeling angry. If you are feeling angry about something, then going to a place where you feel safe, secure, and comfortable can help you feel better and stay calm. Sometimes we can feel angry when we are actually scared. This is called the fight or flight response, and everybody has it. If something scares you, your brain might start getting ready to fight the scary thing, and you might feel angry. Going to a safe space might help if you are feeling angry because you are scared.

Deep Breathing

When we get angry, we can often breathe faster and not as deeply as we normally would. This is also because of the fight or flight response. If you are feeling angry, try to notice your breathing. If you are not breathing normally, then breathing in and out deeply can help. Try to breathe in slowly through your nose for as long as you can and hold your breath for a couple of seconds. Then slowly breathe out through your mouth. Keep doing this until you start to feel calmer. This will help your heartbeat slow down and make it easier for you to feel in control of how you feel.

Write How You Feel Down

Some people find that writing how they feel down helps them feel better. If you don’t like writing, you might want to try drawing or colouring instead. Just think about how you are feeling and get it all out onto the paper. Don’t worry about getting your spelling right or colouring in the lines. You don’t have to show what you have written, drawn, or coloured to anybody if you don’t want to.

Find a Healthy Way to Let it Out

Being angry can sometimes feel like you are going to explode. This is normal and it’s nothing to be scared of. Letting it come out in a safe way can help. For some people, crying can be a good way to let the anger out and feel better. Other people might feel better after screaming into a pillow. Running or exercising is another way for some people to let out their anger. None of these things will hurt yourself or others, so they are a safe and healthy way to let your anger out. Unhealthy ways to let your anger out include doing things like being nasty to another person or hurting somebody physically. These might let your anger out, but you will feel worse afterwards. If you are not sure how you can let your anger out in a healthy and safe way, then speak to somebody who is there to help you like a social worker, teacher, counsellor, or your foster parent.

Being angry is not always a bad thing. Anger is an emotion, and we all feel it sometimes when bad things happen, or we are not treated fairly. When you feel angry, it’s important to know what you can do to deal with it in a safe and healthy way.