Being away from your siblings can feel really tough – especially if you’re used to seeing them every day. You might feel sad, frustrated or even a bit lost without them. And that’s totally normal. Missing someone you love just shows how much they matter to you.
Keeping siblings together whenever possible is really important, but sometimes brothers and sisters live with different foster families because it isn’t possible for them to live in the same family home. This can happen for a few reasons, like needing different types of support or simply because there isn’t a home nearby that’s the right size for everyone to live together. It’s never because people want to split you up. It’s about finding the best care for each of you – and that’s not always in the same place.
Even if you’re living apart right now, there are still ways to feel close and keep that bond strong. Here are a few things you can try when you’re missing your brothers or sisters.
1. Talk to your foster parent or social worker
If you haven’t already, let them know how you’re feeling. They’re there to help, and they might be able to arrange regular visits or calls. Sometimes it’s easy to think nothing can change, but speaking up can make a big difference.
2. Plan regular chats
Even a quick message or video call can help you feel more connected. Ask your foster parent to help set up a time each week to chat. That way, you’ve got something to look forward to – and so do they.
3. Write things down
Writing letters, texts or keeping a journal about how you’re feeling can really help. You don’t even have to send it – just getting your thoughts out can take a weight off your shoulders.
4. Share something that reminds you of them
Got a shared memory or a silly inside joke? Talk about it with someone you trust. You could even create a scrapbook or playlist of songs that remind you of each other.
5. Do something kind for them
Draw them a picture, write them a letter or make a little gift. It doesn’t have to be big – it’s the thought that counts. And doing something kind can help you feel closer too, as your sibling can see that you were thinking of them, even though they weren’t there with you.
6. Keep busy
It won’t take the feeling away completely, but keeping your mind active can really help. Try doing things that keep you occupied like sports, clubs, hobbies or spending time with friends who make you feel good.
7. Be kind to yourself
Missing someone means you care – and that’s a good thing. It shows how strong your bond is. So don’t be hard on yourself for feeling sad sometimes, and don’t feel guilty about enjoying fun experiences when you’re apart from your brothers or sisters— you’re allowed to miss them and still enjoy other things too.
You’re not on your own.
Lots of young people in foster care feel the same way, and while every family situation is different, you’re not alone. Talk to someone you trust and remember– we’re here to help you fand are always ready to listen. If you’re struggling with being apart from the people you love, ask to talk to your own social worker or a Fostering People social worker and tell them how you feel. We’ll do everything we can to make sure you’re supported.